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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it appalling

40 replies

GollyMissMolly · 19/10/2010 00:47

that a friend of mine has just got her three week old twin daughter's ears pierced! They are now wearing silver studs.

Not only do I think it's dangerous because they haven't had their vaccinations but why would you inflict pain on a child. The earings need turned and the crusts that formed need wiped with antiseptic daily. They are 3 weeks old!!!

OP posts:
amarone · 19/10/2010 00:49

I think your friend might be a chav...

Sorry, judgy post, but possibly true.

AllGoodNamesGone · 19/10/2010 00:50

YANBU

Poor little babies.

Original poster
GollyMissMolly · 19/10/2010 00:52

She isn't. She's American and a very "homemaker" type mumsy person, and she goes to church! Hmm

I view it as a form of abuse, however momentary and small! Angry

OP posts:
darksideofthemooncup · 19/10/2010 01:41

I really really try not to be judgy but piercing babies ears is beyond vile. YANBU

strandeadatsea · 19/10/2010 01:44

Wow this IS judgy! Where I live my dd's are about the only ones who didn't have their ears pierced at birth. It's very common in many cultures. It's not something I would chose for my dc's but it's not the worst thing going on in the world.

darksideofthemooncup · 19/10/2010 02:01

You are right Strand it is not the worst thing going on in the world and I accept that is common in many cultures. However, I cannot understand why anybody would want to inflict pain on a baby. Ear piercing is painful and continues to be painful whilst the piercing is healing. Which is why I find the whole idea of it vile.

izzywizzywoowooo · 19/10/2010 02:04

Comparing it to abuse is I think insulting to those people that have been abused IMO.

It isn't to my taste, but everyones different I guess.

WelcometoProfessorJungleGore · 19/10/2010 02:06

Could this possibly be so she can tell them apart???

strandeadatsea · 19/10/2010 02:08

I have asked the question and apparently they do it at birth because it's less painful Hmm

However in a country where children are beaten in schools (not the one my dd's go to..), ear piercing is fairly low on the list of things for me to worry about.

I have also given up on my one-woman crusade to try and get them to at least get their children to sit down in cars, possibly even use a seatbelt (gave up on the car seats a while ago)!

charmander · 19/10/2010 02:10

What has it got to do with vaccinations?

Warmseabreeze · 19/10/2010 04:15

On a side note please tell your friend to clean with Salvon wound wash, it prevents the crusting of the ears (I'm too sleep deprived to remember why!).

I won't allow my DD's to get their ears pierced until they r 16.

sapphireblwhooooo · 19/10/2010 07:47

child abuse. Pure and simple. I'm astounded that she managed to find somewhere that would agree to pierce a 3 week old baby's ears.

proudnscary · 19/10/2010 07:48

Abuse? Hardly.

Absolutely wrong and severely lacking in class? Yes.

onceamai · 19/10/2010 08:03

Agree with Proud and Scary. In this country it's chavvy. DD's were done to celebrate her first period - entry into womanhood - we had a celebratory tea too.

GoreRenewed · 19/10/2010 08:04

Why? Sad

Firawla · 19/10/2010 08:23

its not abuse, what an overreaction. insulting to that mother and also insulting to people who have been actually abused.
yabu

sarah293 · 19/10/2010 08:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NestaFiesta · 19/10/2010 09:25

I don't think its child abuse but I do think its a bad judgement call and a choking hazard. I belive babies and young children need no enhancement to their naturally beautiful looks.

CrazyPlateLady · 19/10/2010 09:28

Its not abuse. I was abused so please don't compare something like that to a baby having their ears pierced.

YANBU though. In some cultures it is normal, but not in this womans case surely?

I think it is chavvy and horrible to have earrings on little children.

MrsC2010 · 19/10/2010 09:29

YANBU, nasty.

cumbria81 · 19/10/2010 09:29

Completely OTT to call it abuse.

Yes it's chavvy and common but hardly the end of the world.

izzywizzywoowooo · 19/10/2010 09:52

How insulting to call a baby's ear piercing abuse?

Some people have been abused and I am guessing they would of preferd their ears being done instead.

Total over reaction, if baby doesn't want them, they heal over.

FindingMyMojo · 19/10/2010 10:03

I agree with you OP & I do think it is a form of abuse. There is a scale of abuse of course and this is at the lower end but it is definatly the physical mistreatment of a very very young and extremely vulnerable baby, which clearly fits into the definition of abuse - (being "any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child.")

Piercing the babies ears is 100% about the mother and her desire to decorate her "gorgeous possession of a baby" without a seconds thought or consideration for the baby, a person in their own right.

As for healing over they don't ever heal properly - you can't them get your ears pierced in the same place & the baby can hardly take them out & say no thanks Mum, I'll wait till I'm a bit older.

And add to the list of objections kids should be free to enjoy the rough & tumble of childhood without worrying about earings snagging on clothes and ripping ears/injuring them further.

Or course it's not the end of the world but this column is not called "OMG It's going to be the end of the world" is it?

DandyDan · 19/10/2010 10:04

Ear piercing may be common in certain cultures and there might be cultural reasons for doing it, but it doesn't make it immune to being questioned. If it were not the ear but another part of the body being pierced, would people feel the same way? If stretching the ear was part of the culture, would people feel the same way?

I don't have an answer or a very strong opinion because these are complicated things - not just "inflictions on a child" or matters of personal taste. Should parents/carers be allowed to alter their children's bodies to suit their cultural or aesthetic requirements? Circumcision? Tattoos? Footbinding? It's a emotionally fraught and very difficult legal area. An under-16 yr old is not judged legally capable of making the decision for themselves but an adult can make that decision for them before they can assent to or understand it.....?

Original poster
GollyMissMolly · 19/10/2010 10:11

When I said abuse I was putting it on a scale as "momentary" meaning only for a short while and "small" meaning there are scales of abuse. If that kid swallows the earing and perforates her oesophagus then I'm sure many would think it was a form of abuse, however minor.

Regarding vaccines - my point was these babies have not been given tetanus injections and yet are being subjected to foreign bodies in the skin and their immune systems having to work hard to try and heal the wound at three weeks old. Also a 3 week old being introduced to strong antispetic directly onto an open wound is awful.

Oh and the earings are identical so it is not to tell them apart.

OP posts: