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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask my mother to help?

10 replies

Whocantakeasunrise · 18/10/2010 22:25

Back history - my mum lives 5 miles away from me, but never looks after my dc, either at hers or at mine. She's in her mid-60s and is a healthy woman, so no health problems. She makes all the 'right' noises, and tells my children that they can stay at hers etc, but has never actually had them. My dc are 14 and 6 so long history, and not asking her to care for babies.

Now for the last couple of years on a regular basis she has said that we should go away for my dh birthday, and that 'as the kids will be older they can stay with me'. Now dh's birthday is in a couple of months time, and I'd like to take him to NY for 3 nights.

Would it be wrong/am I likely to be disappointed to ask my mum to have the children for these 3 nights, bearing in mind they will be at school whilst we are away, can get a school bus from her house at 7.30am and get dropped off to hers at 6.30pm. Therefore very little effort for her (no school run, they'll be knackered so no occupying them after school, and they are no longer babies).

I feel like IABU to even ask her/take her up on her offer. What does MN jury think?

OP posts:
Serendippy · 18/10/2010 22:27

YANBU to ask. Approach it from the 'You know how you've always said DH and I should go away and you would have the kids? We've decided to take your advice' angle.
Hope you're not disappointed!

pinkyp · 18/10/2010 22:28

have u ever asked her b4?

PaisleyPumpkin · 18/10/2010 22:28

Ask. It does sound like she's offered.

Whocantakeasunrise · 18/10/2010 22:31

I've asked before, but she'd never commit. i.e. she'd offer to have the children for a day during the school holidays, but would never give me a day that she'd have them, and working I would need to know where they were going. She then would say at the end of the holidays 'oh they go back next week and I haven't seen them, I'll have to have them a day next holidays'. And so it goes on.

OP posts:
pinkyp · 18/10/2010 22:52

ask her,if she doesnt commit leave it a day and ask her again saying you need to know as you need to book it by the end of the day,its a tough call hope she does say yes!

Whocantakeasunrise · 19/10/2010 07:45

Ok wish me luck - it would be great if she said yes, the kids would be thrilled.

OP posts:
Whocantakeasunrise · 19/10/2010 20:26

OMG - SHE SAID YES AND WROTE IT IN THE DIARY!!!! [GRIN] [GRIN] [GRIN]

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 19/10/2010 20:51

Excellent Grin

Get yourself a back up plan.

wonderstuff · 19/10/2010 20:54

FAB - DH and I went, child free to NY in the spring - was amazing Grin

Whocantakeasunrise · 19/10/2010 21:02

Yes I'll set aside budget for paying for childcare, as can't believe it would be that easy. Hmm

But if I go on that plane and the kids are at mum's I'll have extra spending money Grin

OP posts:
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