that I think I'd rather be single

[Flojo1979]

This is my first post. I'll try to filter all the stuff thats going round my head.
Having been left by my XP when pregnant with my second child, getting back on the dating rollercoaster was a scarey idea, but I did it and 8 months ago i met my current partner, at first he was very attentive and active with the kids, for the past 3 months he has completely backed off and spends all his time at his own house and only wants to spend time with me one evening a wk when kids r in bed, my DS is 5 and wonders why he never sees him now. My bf says he wants his freedom. I'm upset cos he has changed so much. Should i be happy to have some company for 1 night wk? is it unreasonable to hope that theres a guy out there who might want to spend time as a family?

I think tbh you have moved way too fast. If you've been with him 8 months, the introductions to the children should have happened relatively recently, and been confined to short trips tbh. He isn't part of the family, and this will be confusing to them. You have my every sympathy, I have very very recently met a fabulous man and my first instinct is to want to shout it from the rooftops, and spend as much time together as possible. But the reality of dating when you have young children is much harder. My dc will not be introduced until much further along the line, so I can avoid this very situation

I think 1 night a week is fine, as long as he doesn't mind you having other men round for some of the other nights a week. You can have your freedom too.

He's a nobber Flojo, if you want commitment, get rid of him because he's not going to give it. If you just want a no-strings fuck once a week, he's fine.

But it's irresponsible to come into children's lives, present yourself as their mother's partner, and then fade into the background. What do you want to teach your children about relationships? That they're erratic and unpredictable and people come and go? Don't let anyone else do this - you don't need to introduce a partner to your DC's, they can be introduced as friends, and they don't need to be seen as anything else unless they actually move in.

This guy isn't a partner, he's a fuck, and not a particularly frequent one IMO. Which has its place and nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't sound like that's what you want. You sound like you want a proper life partner. Which is not on offer from Mr Onceaweek.

Thanx for replying so quick.
I get what your says booboo but single mum with 2 kids and no dad, i dont get any children free time to date a guy alone!
And thanx HerB, u vocalised exactly how I've been feeling, i dont want a bed buddy but do u think theres any chance of anything better out there with 2 kids and no babysitter :(

You need to find a babysitter, or organise something with friends. My best friend is also a single parent, and I'm lucky that her dd is best friends (for the moment!) with mine. Once a week we have a sleepover at hers and I return the favour the next day, meaning we both get a night out a week, and no babysitter to pay. I know it can seem impossible. This is a very recent arrangement, that came about when we were both bemoaning being stuck inside. The answer really was staring us in the face. You need to prioritise your dc, and yourself. You do deserve some time to date. But at the same time, your dc deserve , whch they are not going to get if they have to be included in every relationship from so early on.