to be angry that I have just found out Nursery is putting my son in nappies

[mummy777]

Just found out from my 3 year old today that Nursery is putting him in nappies when they go out to play! I toilet trained him a few months ago and on the whole is very good with the odd accident, with the odd one happening at nursery.
Well... here's me thinking, isn't he doing well? Not had an accident at nursery for a couple of weeks or so..
Today he tells me whilst sitting on the toilet that he did really well at nursery today because they forgot to put a nappy on him when they went to the outdoor area and wasn't he a good boy for not having an accident in his pants!
I am MAD! Firstly, my son is pretty much toilet trained. Dry at night and very rarely ever has accidents at home. They have not discussed this with me at all, asked if they could put him in nappies and let me think he's doing really well. If they had asked, I would have said no because then he might think that it's ok to do the toilet when you're out playing.
How dare they make a decision like that, one which could really confuse him and worse still not asked me!!! All this just to make their lives easier but that is what they are there for, being paid to deal with.. I asked my son about it again at bedtime and he was able to quickly list a number of other children who are also put in nappies to go outside, the same age as him. That just shows it must be happening all the time.I am so angry.

So lazy of the nursery and inappropriate

You must raise it with them and get tee assurances they will stop immediately

Have you had any other issues with the nursery before?

What did they say when you asked them to explain?

You should be furious, lazy care in my opinion. I'm a nursery manager and would never dream of doing it. Request a meeting with manager and ask why they think it is acceptable to do this. If she/he doesn't know, that terrible as they obviously don't know whats happening, if they do know its awful too as they should be leading the team.

I have never heard of anyone in nursery doing this, you must be extremely annoyed.

You must speak with them about this (calmly ).

They have to justify why they think he is not ready rather than a blanket nappy wearing for all children.

Haven't had a chance to ask them to explain yet. Only found this out just before dinner and he's not back until later in the week.

Not had any huge issues before. My husband has observed that their attention to the children is very lax in the outdoor play area as he was at a house next to nursery and saw it for himself. All sitting round chatting, not watching the children. The person whose house it is says she hears some crying for a bit too long before anyone goes to them.

I would raise both issues TBH

Just sounds lax

YANBU - that's really very poor and you should make a big fuss! My nursery couldn't have been more supportive with dd's potty training. They encouraged her hugely and had far more patience than me!

It's pretty shite (excuse pun) of them, I totally understand your anger.

But do make sure you hear them out and ask calmly - it's amazing how many parents go in all guns blazing before they know all the facts!

I would be cross about this too. I was very impressed with DD1 nursery for persevering though a year long battle with potty training, at one point they were changing messy pants on a daily basis, but only put her in a nappy one day when they ran out of clean pants.

oh dear.
I had similar to this, they assumed it was ok to put him back in nappy for nap. They didn't ask me, I only knew because they showed surprise when he woke up from nap and he was dry.
Mine is kinda understandable, but yours does sound very lazy.And the fact that they don't understand that it could confuse them is quite worrying. But why would outside play be any different from inside play? don't really get it?

Thanks. Just wanted to check that my thoughts are justified! The outdoor area is a couple of minutes walk from the toilets so they have to go back and forth every time a child says they need the toilet. Obviously become too lazy to keep doing this. Just remembered that one day I had to collect my son just in a pair of borrowed pants. He had to leave nursery with no trousers on as they had run out. They don't want you to take/leave spares of your own!

oh no, lazy because they can't be bothered to take them to the toilet, that's terrible.
Does he not have a bag with spare clothes?
don't like the sound of your nursery sorry, but then I think I might have been spoilt cos DS's is lovely!

They don't want you to take/leave spares of their own? Very odd indeed. Do they have limited storage?

Yes, doesn't look like they have much storage at all. They don't let you leave bags, basically anything other than their coat or in winter with a hat and gloves!

In which case they need to have ample spares. Have chat with them but i don't think i would be happy. If they are too lazy to take children to loo, supervise them (from what your DH said) then what else are they not bothering to do?

Totally unacceptable, I definitely raise it, and if they don't want to change I would move him to another nursery. Iagine if they did that at our day centre with continent adults with learning disabilities, we would be up for a disciplinary.

I work in a nursery with very limited storage, but it's important for children to have some of their own things at nursery. It helps them learn about independance and looking after their own things. I find the fact that they don't want you to leave spares very odd. What do they do on days where children get muddy or wet or messy just from play?

If they have to walk to get to their outside play area, they may tell you that they cannot keep taking children back and forth to the toilet because of staff to children ratios. This is just me guessing btw. But it's unnacceptable, even older children that have been trained for a long time have the odd accident, ask them how they would deal with that. Could they not take a potty out with them and some hand gel?

It must take them an awfully long time to get more than one child into a nappy before they go out, surely they could just spend that time encouraging the children to use the toilet before they go.

You definately need to talk to them about this and insist that they change the way they do things. If you even have to begin to explain why this is not good practice, start looking for another nursery.

U r right to be angry. It seems very poor care on all levels, leaving them unsupervised outside etc.
If it was my child he wouldnt be going back to that nursery full stop.

The more you say, the less I like this nursery.... I would be looking at other alternatives tbh, but I would address the nappies on my next visit and they would be under no illusion that it was not to be done again! I would be taking in 'spares' which I would expect to see him in if he was to have an accident.... foot down.

YADNBU

This is really really bad.

I would calm down, discuss with DH and raise it with the provider, make it formal if you have to.

My DS's playschool has very limited storage, but they manage, my DS1 was soo messy (play) that he came back in playschool togs almost every day! I would think heaps of spare clothes are an essential at that age.

Do they do this to all the children there? Are other parents aware of it/ bothered?