to have had a bit of a birthday sulk

[CMOTdibbler]

It was my birthday yesterday. No breakfast in bed, or even a cup of tea made for me. Card from pil (with money in), my brother, and dh. No presents at all. Dh said he had bought me his already - but it was replacing the camera he smashed, and he gave it to me a couple of weeks ago.

Went to my parents, and they did buy lunch which was nice, and mum had made me an inedible cake (she has dementia and is forgetting how to cook) and some mincepies that could be used as weapons. They didn't get me anything either.

No dinner plans or cake from dh, and he fell asleep at 8 as he'd been out late Friday and Saturday.

So, on my birthday, I cleaned out the fish and had a slap up packet of crisps.

AIBU to be a bit upset ?

nope, not unreasonable. Happy Birthday.

I had this last birthday.

My parents did nothing till a week later when I got just a card, my sister left a phone message two and half weeks later with her DD signing to me, my brother nothing, my in-laws phoned to say they were not bothering till they saw us two months later - but two months later they didn't do anything.

My Great Aunt who I haven't seen since I was 10 did most - sent a card with ten pounds in.

My DH got me nothing not even a card - not breakfast in bed and nothing for the DC to give me. We'd had a rough year but I had made an effort with everyone else - very much so with DH birthday.

I got very upset and DH stormed out the house. My eldest DC four years old got upset as she just realized it was my birthday and had nothing to give me.

Bought nice lunch and tea. Got phone call from DH he'd get a take away and rent a film.
DC kept trying to make me presents and cards and DD1 said she'd talk to Daddy about getting me some flowers.

Cooked tea as it become obvious DH wasn't going to be home on time. He turned up two hours late with no food or film and some cheap tat as a present as I'd made a fuss.

Then spent an hour on phone with MIL who'd rung because she thought we'd be busy doing something .

I went to bed.

This year I'm going to get the DC something to give me - and possibly get them to make some cards.

I'm going to have some money put aside to do something nice for myself. I can't go out as DH might not be around to baby sit but the following weekend I'm taking some much needed me time.

Everyone knows they upset me and I've made less effort with them this year.

your not unreasonable but I suggest like me you make your own plans for next year and think about the amount of effort you put into other's birthdays.

The length of the post shows I'm still upset and despite my plans I'm not looking forward to the next one.

I'm so sorry that you got even less NonBlond.

Dh tried to excuse himself by saying it had been a busy weekend, and I had said he could go out on Saturday (which was actually 5 on Friday to early hours of Sunday in the end), but I think he realised I didn't really think that was any excuse

My DH had excuses to - I pointed out it would have taken minutes to make cards with the kids or pick up a box of something from shop down end of the street.

Still what can you do be prepare for next year. You could try taking a cake or food to your parents next time to 'save them the bother of cooking and its so nice and you can't eat it all and must share it ect' - it is nice your mum still tried.

I think I was so upset as it tapped into feelings I already had of being taken for granted and being insignificant and 'just' a mother and the total lack of any effort by anyone but the DC.

Get DH to take you somewhere nice this weekend instead and better luck next year.

YANBU but it sounds like every birthday I've had recently and most Mothers Days too

YANBU - I never get a birthday present because my birthday is on the 23rd and dh "doesn't get paid till the 30th"

Don't know why he can't buy my present out of the 11 pays he gets before my birthday - like I do for everyone else.

Sorry OP - that sounds rubbish. DP is pretty good with my birthday but I have had a few occasions come and go with not enough fuss for my liking. In the end, we had to have an honest conversation along the lines of me saying that I didn't care about the amount of money spent - it really is just the thought - or whether he thought I was too old to have 'high expectations' on my birthday - that's just how it was and he would upset me if he didn't do the right thing. On the flip side, I had to concede slightly on some of the other days, so now on Valentines, Mother's Day, Wedding Anniversaries, I always get a card and sometimes flowers/gift/dinner or whatever but not the full on extravaganza that I would secretly like.

I really think it's about getting your DH to understand that you do have some expectations but also conceding that what we would probably like is probably not going to happen. Having said that, no present from anyone is rubbish and I hate that school of thought that believes the minutes you have chidlren, you never want anything for yourself again. Rubbish, I want loads :)

Nope, definately NBU. I have this sulk every birthday for the past few years. Demand a night out tonight, its not too late

and happy birthday for yesterday!

CMOT mine was yesterday too! I made my own cake and oldest DCs bought a pizza. They got me a card and a book, and youngest made me a card with lots of glitter. exH called about something but not b-day related. Mum and sister called.

I always get myself something nice for my own birthday, and I have for years, even before we separated, as exH dropped the ball time after time too.

Dh has produced a cake (with candles) and some presents (new Nigella, chocolate orange, cd and a v interesting looking book) tonight, so obv got the message.

My expectations are pretty low already - I only want things on birthday and at Christmas, and don't care about the cost at all- and a takeaway would have been lovely.

Am currently choosing some new boots to spend my money on