To be seething over brother's girlfriend's behaviour?

[Nikna]

So what was supposed to be a nice day in Hyde Park catching up with my brother, was a truly awful day. Bearing in mind that we toddle along with DS 1 & 2 (3 & 15mths), my brother's girlfriend kept storming off in a huff at random moments. It was nothing we said because she walked ten paces in front the entire time. My brother was very embarrassed and mumbled that they were having some problems. Perhaps ... but she does this every time we meet up! There is always plenty of storminess, and then there are constant snide comments and put downs of our family and background.

DH says don't let it get to me, we can be above it by just ignoring it. Isn't there a point where we are just being mugs though? To allow someone to constantly behave and speak to us like that. I am at the point now that I don't want to see her again, but if I want to see my brother I have no choice.

Utterly miserable.

If he is a real blokey-bloke then I'd suggest not using the word "abuse" as it is unlikely that he will see himself as a victim of abuse regardless of what she's doing to him.

That's why I suggested the "dating a loser" thing as it's not (overtly) about abusive relationships, it's about identifying people it's not worth the effort of being in a relationship with. But I understand if you don't feel that he would take it well. It's never easy to get a victim of abuse to realise what is actually going on.

Maybe the best you can do for him right now is encourage him to think about whether this relationship makes him happy or not. And to keep in touch with him despite his girlfriend's attempts to isolate him.

She sounds dreadful and I agree with the abuser title.

Thanks, I know, but now that I have talked to my brother and told him I am very concerned about her behavior, I think I need to give it awhile, otherwise I am going to be seen to be interfering.

I have since heard she has really had a go at my younger brother while he was staying with them recently. SEETHING.

Worse still, oblivious to the stress and upset of the weekend, apparently she is organising taking me out for the day for my upcoming birthday (she has emailed DH to arrange a date tonight).

Seriously, feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place.