that parents need to do something if their chid is obese?

[mumof2terrors]

Im new here but am really concerned about a family members son....he looks obese to the point he is 2 years old and wears clothes for a 4-5yr old. He eats only chicken wings from the chicken and chip shop and egg yolks and i have a feeling that his formula may be fortified with cream he still has formula 3 times through the night. I have a son that is the same age and he looks like a stick next to him...my son is on the 91st centile for weight. She has been spoken to about this but fiys off the handle when the weight issue is touched upon claiming his weight is down to genetics? I really need to know how to approach this so any advice would be appreciated i just feel so bad for the poor boy.....

hahaha!!!..dontcha just love students?? ...I'm good too thanks..

MCP laugh go on and I will send them to sit outside yours shouting next week

I had my share lady!..way back when..luckily I was child-free..4am in the morning extremely loud shouting/music...and they spied on me and then BF now DH shagging..

lmao I woulnd't mind but they never invite me humph!

hehehe..you have to tell them..'if you are going to be inappropriate at least invite your immediate neighbours'

hehe MCP i shall drop a note through the door

Sorry I'm aware this isn't addressing OP's question but in response to the exchange between LadyEvilStar and TattyDevine among others, I have a friend who was when told her DS (6) was overweight/bordering on obese on the basis of these measures. I know this boy and although I'd struggle to pick him up (my DD is nearly 11, up to my shoulder (I'm 5'6") and sub 5st) he's not even chubby, let alone fat.

He plays football constantly, walks/cycles/scooters/swims and is just a very muscular little boy. His dad I understand is mixed race (black/white), so that might explain some of it based on the ethnicity data above, but I just think it's wrong to label people based on such measures when the evidence in front of you so clearly refutes it.

Look, I'm not saying the centile charts are the only way or the best way or to be "followed blindly" etc.

What shouldn't be followed blindly, and where the "blind" thing really comes into it, is that parents can often just not see that their child is FAT.

If the chart says your child is OBESE, they are wearing clothes much bigger than their age, and they are a good deal heavier by nearly 10kg to most their peers, its it still really easier to just bury your head in the sand, talk about different build and diversity?

There is no smoke without fire.

If, as a parent, my child registered obese on the chart but looked okay to me, I'd canvass opinions discretely perhaps from a GP or dietician or health visitor, and if they got there on a healthy diet I wouldn't worry too much, would look at their activity levels, etc. If they got there on a bit of junk and had a slight sloth-like tendency about them, I'd be looking into that.

Its all about being aware and if you eschew the charts, its hard to be aware.

Ideally we'd use biometric impedence or whatever that method is called (Tanita body fat monitor scales basically) and monitor body fat percentages. But then there'd be a group of parents burying their head in the sand saying they are "not accurate" or something when in fact they are pretty accurate and very accurate and measuring changes in body fat.

I think kids are getting fatter and fatter and we just can't see it because its becoming so normal that you have to have 5 chins and 3 bellys before you are considered obese, when in fact once you are at that stage its a hell of a lot harder to pull it back. If you are labelled fine when you are borderline, you are missing a trick.

Tatty, Even if I was to buy clothes for a 3yr old they would be too short. He has bigger feet than some children his age as well, should I buy him shoes that the average 3yr old wears?

Trousers for a 3yr old are too short and are ankle swingers

I understand what TLE is saying about her DS. My DS 5 was born at nearly 11 lbs and from the onset wore clothes for a nine month old. He is also exceptionally tall. When he was weighed at school last year I got a letter saying that he is obese based on the centile measurements. I do agree that my son is bigger than other children but it is not based on eating junk food but rather that he likes eating regularly. He is very active, does football twice a week, swimming and PE at school and he does not pant or wheeze when he is running around. He is very tall too compared to his age group and this is based on his genes, I am nearly 6foot and a size 14, father is six foot plus and size 36 so we are not small either.

He wears 8-9 clothes and they are the right size width and height too. He is a size 1 shoe. I have to admit to being concerned about his weight and to be monitoring his food pretty closely as I do not want him to get any bigger (genes or not).

TLE, my DS at 3 was wearing clothes for a five year old. When he had an operation two years ago and was weighed the doctor said that his weight was fine as he is so tall. It is a tough one. Your DS does not look obese to me and looks exactly how my DS looked at that age

Lets turn it round for a minute.

If you were to look at the 3rd photo on my profile there is another little boy behind DS2, this is one of my nephews. He is going to be 7 in March next year, Now he is in the same size shoe as DS2 in fact DS2's shoes are big on him. DS2's clothes come from him and fit him perfectly.

So is DS2 obese or is DN3 underweight?

Actually its neither, DN3's mum is 5ft 2 and has always been small built.

I am 5ft 8" and as I said previously am broad, I have been every weight from 8st to 11st which I am now.

It stands to reason a child from small parents will generally be small and vice versa.

TBH I think children should be children and all this hype on obesity in children should be played down - otherwise the cases of childhood eating disorders are going to increase.

TLE I wasn't specifically talking about your child at all and I haven't looked at his photo. What I'm trying to say (and I accept I'm not doing it well!) is if, for instance, your child is "obese" according to the chart, yet is 3 and fits 3 year old clothes, and doesn't look fat, there's enough anecdotal evidence "against" the chart that you can not worry.

If you however have a child who is obese on the chart and is also wearing much bigger clothes (I know the tallness thing skews this but like I said I'm not talking about specific examples but generally speaking) and is weighing a lot more than his peers, even if he doesn't look fat to you, you might consider that the child might actually be carrying a little extra fat, possibly more than they should be enough to investigate further.

I'm in this boat myself in that my 3 year old was born at 98th centile and followed it into his 2nd year, is now 91st centile and only borderline on the chart for not being overweight.

He wears size 3 clothes, doesn't look fat to me or other family members or the friends I've asked though I would take that with a grain of salt as they probably wouldn't want to offend me, or his health visitor who was surprised he weighed as much as he did. Because he's in size 3 clothes and doesn't look fat, I can probably assume he's a bit stocky but I will watch his weight (without him realising I'm doing so) as he probably has a slight tendency to be on the heavier side.

I suppose what I'm saying is if I didn't keep that level head about it and analyse it from a chart perspective, I would have just said "he's fine, he's fine" and probably would not have taken the measures I did to get him down to the 91st centile. He might be obese by now.

Or not!

It doesn't matter, its a worthy debate because I think one of the factors in the childhood obesity debate is (a) are parents really able to judge or to they have their love heart shaped frame glasses on and (b) are the NHS charts too tough, too unrealistic, or a pretty good general idea that things might be heading in the wrong direction, and is there a better way to measure, and if so, what?

I too think the charts are in a sense outragous for making my child borderline but I remind myself that its not about looks but about health, and if he's heavy enough on his feet that it makes him not want to be active then we'd be heading in a bad spiral. As it turns out I can't slow him down so I dont have anything to worry about at this stage.

Its all worth debating though, I partly regret singling you out like that so please accept my apologies.

Tatty,

oh its ok, I am not upset by it at all. TBH I have had 2 children both born small who grew rapidly (at 6m DS1 was in 12-18m clothes). DS2 was about the same size at the same age.

I just think too much pressure is put on parents who live with their children and therefore know their childs eating habits.

DS2 is not a fussy eater but only eats when he is hungry, Last night I made meatballs with peppers, onions and mushrooms served with boiled rice - he ate all the peppers, onions and rice but left the meat. He does love a block bit of cheese though.

TBH I am not worried because he is robust and very healthy. He has a natural immune system and as I said is very healthy, and active.

and yesterday i saw her feeding him 6 eggs....its not normal

DS2 would happily eat 6 eggs - he ate 3 for lunch today with bread

TLES- sorry, but I had a look at the children's growth chart (so not BMI) and your son is below between 50% and 75% for height and off the chart for weight (in fact good 4 kilos more than what a 95% child would be).

Now my son is a bit over 95% for weight, but he is off, off the chart for height. It's about the proportion. It doesn't have to be exactly the same, so a more 'stocky' kid could be 50% for height and 65% for weight and not be necessarily overweight, but there is a huge disproportion in your son's height and weight centiles.

Don't want to be mean, just perhaps you might want to ask the GP next time you go for a check up.

Winny, the GP and HV have no concerns for him tbh. He goes through growth spurts where he shoots up or out at one time, never up and out together iyswim?

not according to this

23.18 kg DS2's weight
104cm and height

He is big yes but not unhealthily so.