To tell my DD that NO WAy will she be dressing like that at school discos when she's 13?

[pointythings]

So DD (nearly 10) had a school disco last Friday at her new school. We walk up and ahead of us tehre's this group of 4 or 5 girls, probably Year 8s, wearing skirts not worthy of the name, 5-inch heels, buckets of slap, tiny tops, all looking at least 16-17 and not very expensive, as it were. So I told DD (wearing a lovely black velvet party dress with glitter in the fabric, down to mid-calf, and just the tiniest slick of lip gloss as a concession to growing up) that she was not ever going to be allowed to go out looking like that when she was 13, and preferably not when she was 18 either...
Another mum of a 13-yo overheard us and nearly died laughing - her DD was a sort of mini-emo, but very individual, much nicer and not an identikit slapper, as it were. I don't think DD particularly wants to emulate this particular 'style' but really - what are some people thinking? Or is this normal at that age? I can understand wanting to rebel and all that, but at least show some taste!

Cory, mine have been buying their own clothes and shoes since they were around 12. There were a few disasters to start with, mostly with shoes, but as you say they do need to learn to take care of themselves. As they mature it is our job as parents to enable that and it is a good place to start.

Drinking alcohol once over 16 is ok with me if it is at home. This does not mean heavy alcohol, just wine etc. Drugs are not tolerated in any way, shape or form. Neither is smoking. Fortunately for me they both find smoking and drugs disgusting.

They have also been taught to not judge people by their appearance and that kindness and a good heart is the most important part of a person. They are expected to be polite and helpful and have been doing chores round the house since they were 5.

Cory, a lovely well said post.

I think people are being unfair to the OP here...her DD is TEN! Since when did ten mean growing up"? Ten is a little girl...not a teen...nothing but a child and as such she should be dressed as one.

All the Parents allowing their kids to dress in fashions far too old are causing those with some personal restraint to encouner problems which should not need addressing until the kids hit 13 or so....I bet it is the parents who laugh more at the girls who are dressed properly than the other kids! At least from some comments here it seems that way.

My beautiful 12 year old niece spent the whole of last years bitter snowy weather in a denim mini and a crop top.
Canadian visitors to the house could not believe their eyes and said so.
My sister thinks the fight is not worth the effort however, so I have had to leave it.

shrine....the OP's child is TEN....and 13 is VERY young....nt ok forkids to walk around like mini adults...not ok at all. People who assume THEY are correct in hings like this are the one's who are causin so many problems for young girls today.

There's a disturbing trend amongst the young that dressing in a revealing/sexy manner is the way to go...the way to success...it NEEDS fixing.

Bunty...ime Americans and Canadians dress their DC's appropriatey...they have lovely and traditional dresses right up until 12 years....they wear jeans and shorts and t shirts too....it's shocking isn't it? The way so many Mothers give in to the crap about whats ok for one is ok for all.

Thanks for the range of opinions - FWIW my DD chose this dress herself, and it was definitely not childish, more like an evening/cocktail dress - just not all-revealing (not that she has anything to reveal yet)
And if when she's 12 or 13 she wants to wear something short and slinky with heels, then I'm sure we can work out a compromise - but she doesn't need to look as if she's for sale either. Short = OK. Thongs on show = not OK. I've seen professionals on the mean streets in Philadelphia looking better dressed than this group were (MIL lives in a rough neighbourhood). BTW our town has a very high teen pregnancy rate...

I'm sure I have all this to come...my DDs are still relatively young although DD1 is very into fashion...tbh if my DD was leaving the house looking inappropriate I would say something

What tha heck are you doing wearing dodgy make-up and clothing @ 13???...