To Be Utterly Unable To Cope ?

[completeturmoil]

My husband has gone. I posted about it in the relationship part earlier, but only had one reply.

I just don't know what to do. I have no-one nearby who can help me/I can talk to and my husband has switched his phone off (I know he has had it on at times) and won't reply to my texts.

I feel desperate, I wish I was dead, quite frankly, but I somehow need to find a way to carry on for my children. I feel like my life is such a mess and I really don't know how to carry on.

What the hell has happened to me? How on earth did I end up like this? I cannot stop crying and I just don't know what to do.

Really sorry to hear this. It must be so hard for you. Eventually, you will come through and it is making all the difference to your children that you are there.

Is there anyone in RL who can come and help you for a bit? Will check out your thread in relations (not a section I often go in).

Goodness! Can you phone someone to come over?

How old are the children?

Was it a complete shock or on the cards that he would leave?

Sorry, in a state and crying and probably not making much sense.

We had a row because he drunk himself into oblivion. Again. I am sick of it.

There's no-one neaby I can talk to or ask to come round. I did ring my sister, but I think I just made her feel awkward and she didn't know what to say. All my 'friends' are his friends wives really and won't want the hassle/to get involved.

I'm so sorry, I feel like such a twat posting this, I just don't know what to do or how to calm down. I feel like a drink myself, but I know that won't elp.

Hi CT. Be strong. Put on kettle and have the first of a zillion cups of tea. Ring loads of people and get people around you. Talk to everyone about everything (I had to get it out of my system when it happened to me... was nearly three years ago now).

Please be strong. Life will be good again.... perhaps even better. I know it seems unthinkable but it will. xx

Try to take each hour/day at a time. Dont think too much about the long term right now. Try to keep busy. Have a cry and get it all out of your system. Writing everything out can also help and stop you replaying everything in your mind over and over.

Sorry CT - our posts crossed. Have you got anyone you can ring at all?

Big hugs. x

I really feel for you. I don't know the details of your situation but you are clearly feeling abandoned and helpless. Believe me though you are not alone...there are people to listen on message boards, you can call relate advisors or perhaps friends or family who may be on the end of the phone.

You are doing the right thing thinking about your children. It is so hard to be positive bbut please know that you are cared about and you matter.

complete turmoil do I know you honey ? (I mean did you come on to a thread of mine a day or two ago) xx

Sorry your feeling this way CT, can I add tho I know how you feel about his friends DW/P but when I was in this situation loads of my ex=p mates GF/DW and his mates popped in to see I was OK, even his best friend who would remain loyal to DP as his friend but wasn't backwards in coming forwards when telling him he was a twunt!!

Call them, you do not need to ask them to takes sides just say your lonely and need cheering up, chat about tv, music the weather ! any neautral topic and things will progress to the relationship as I'm sure any woman would want to support you.

Best of luck xx

oh god how awful for you :(

sorry i havent really got any advice but i hope things get better soon xx

Thankyou.

He has phoned. Apparently his phone has been out of signal. He has apologised and (conveniently) can't remember all the horrid names he called me or horrible things he said to me last night. He has promised to stop drinking altogether. Sadly, Ive heard it all before.

He hasn't asked to cme home and I haven't asked him to. I would want him to if I knew there would definitely be no more drinking, ever, but I doubt that would happen. I suspect he wants to come home but is too ashamed to ask/

I am going to have a bath and cup of sugary tea and then order a Chinese takeaway for delivery for mine and the DC dinner. They will like that, a treat.

Thankyou again.

Has he gone for good or has he stormed off in a strop and will be back later?

My first piece of advice, is not to panic. Get through today by focussing on your children. Have a cuppa and try to get calm.

If he has gone for good, then the next thing to consider is your financial situation. Get money out of the bank, so you are not left short if your accounts are joint and he too can access them. Make sure you know what your DH has (asset wise) as you will need to make sure he can't hide these from you later.

Get your name taken off joint credit cards etc, if he is the type of person to run up debts that you will be liable for.

Sorry, I know you don't want to think about all this now, but you must protect your DCs and yourself.

If this is just a strop and he will come back, use the future weeks/months to sort yourself out so you are not vulnerable financially if he does leave.

Where abouts are you? Am in South Wales if you are near by and need some help

X posts. Glad he has phoned.

how are you now OP? hope you are ok.