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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to believe that the majority of people are selfish!

42 replies

Notyetamummy · 17/10/2010 16:23

Sorry to rant. I am really Angry

Today has been the THIRD time in the last year that I have had to give first aid in a public place to strangers and could really have done with help but NO-ONE out of all of the passing people stopped!

1)Pretty bad car crash (Last year) infront of us on a busy dual carriage way in rush hour. Luckily I had two other medical students in the car with me as there were three patients. In theory that's one medical student per patient, but we also needed to call the emergency services and two of the passengers were badly hurt. We really could have used another pair of hands to help keep one patient really still to prevent damage to her c-spine. ALL of the other cars squeezed past us as the crash was blocking most of the dual carriage way and carried on!

(after a farely long stay in hospital for two of the patients all three survived and are now well)

2)Also last year - a homeless man was struggling to hold up his friend (also homeless)who appeared to be drifting in and out of conciousness. Eventually the ill-looking man collapsed and his friend could not hold him up anymore. They were in the process of crossing a road and when the traffic lights went green all of the cars just beeped at them. Me and DH helped to pull the unconcious man onto the pavement where I checked his vital signs etc. and DH called an ambulance - NO ONE HELPED and I can't beleive that the cars just beeped at them.

3)Today, driving home from visiting my parents and a 3yo steps out infront of a car. I stop to help, the car had been going slowly but the child had a head injury. I had one hysterical driver and one hysterical mother, a 3yo with a head injury and I had to call 999. Again NO0ONE stopped - people just drove past!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE! Angry

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 17/10/2010 16:25

Wow, that is bad! I would always stop and help. I hate when the traffic slows down to just rubberneck.

Where do you live so I never go there?

SecretNutellaFix · 17/10/2010 16:26

The vast majority of people probably believe that of something goes wrong, they will be suedSad

Some may think that it's already being dealt with and don't want to interfere.

Some just won't give a fuck.

invisibleink · 17/10/2010 16:27

I agree with Nutella. Tis sad that people feel that way but it is part of litigious society we now live in :(

Original poster
Notyetamummy · 17/10/2010 16:28

Incident no 1 was on the A52 between Derby and Nottingham.

Incident 2 was in Leeds, near the bus station.

Incident 3 was in Nottingham.

OP posts:
TechLovingDad · 17/10/2010 16:29

The majority of people think someone else will be along to help in a minute. Call it laziness / fear / ignorance / whatever.

FrameyMcFrame · 17/10/2010 16:30

I think you've been very unlucky!!

I have never witnessed any accidents and you've been involved in 3 recently!
If I ever did witness an accident I'd try to help as best I could.
As far as RTAs are concerned I think passers by often think that if there are already people on the scene helping then any more peole trying to help might just get in the way.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 17/10/2010 16:30

I know what you mean, it never fails to shock me. Every day I spend 30 mins each way getting 3 DSs about 50 yards to the school door, people just walk right on past even when I am carrying a 3 m/o and a 2 year old, bags, coats etc. I don't expect people to help, but I am quite shocked no one has ever offered. One man even just mimicked my voice telling DS2 to pick up the car he threw, and then jumped into his car. Shock

TechLovingDad · 17/10/2010 16:32

On the other hand, the only time I've been on the scene of an accident lots of people helped. A young woman was hit by a lad on a scooter, while we were all crossing at a pelican crossing after leaving a train. He ran off. About 20 people helped, some stopping traffic, some calling 999, others comforting the woman.

GeekyGirl · 17/10/2010 16:34

Agree with Framey. Some people probably think you've got the situation under control and don't want to get in the way.

ivykaty44 · 17/10/2010 16:36

so you are a medical student or that is hwo Ihave read it in your first post as there where two other medical students in the car with you and that meant one medical student each.

People can see you are dealing with this

Original poster
Notyetamummy · 17/10/2010 16:39

I know - Luck doesn't seem to be on my side recently in that respect.

Before incident no. 1 I'd never come across and accident in my life.

I think that unless there is an amubulance there people should offer to help. We weren't the first people to see incident 1. There were about 5 cars ahead of us that just squeezed past the crash even though there was obviously bad damage, no-one had got our of the vehicles and one of the cars was full of smoke.

On the positive side - I had left my hazard lights on so by the time the patients had all been taken away in ambulances my car wouldn't start as it was out of battery. The police had got one lane of the dual carriage way going again as it was really busy but they blocked it off again so that 5 sexy firemen could jump start my car Grin

OP posts:
edam · 17/10/2010 16:45

there are a lot of selfish people around. I think tech's right that they tell themselves 'someone is already dealing with it' or 'someone else will be along in a minute' but actually those are excuses, not reasons.

There are lots of decent people, too, thankfully.

Original poster
Notyetamummy · 17/10/2010 16:46

Also, people cannot tell just by looking at us that we're medical students.

Even though I am a medical student I still could have really used an extra pair of hands. I was pretty confident that the child today and the homeless gentleman were going to be OK, but incident no. 1 was really scary.

OP posts:
izzywizzywoowooo · 17/10/2010 16:49

Oh great I live in nottingham! Lol All though I have to say I would of helped!

My instincts would tell me to help someone to be honest, I would feel like a right selfish twat if I just carried on.

TechLovingDad · 17/10/2010 16:56

Personally, when I saw that woman fly through the air, after being hit by the scooter my thoughts were "Oh jesus, she could be bleeding, or dead, but I just can't ignore her". It turned out I was about the 10th person to call 999 but they called me back to get more detail, so I'm glad I did.

edam · 17/10/2010 17:06

Don't know why driving turns so many people into selfish arses, (obv. not techloving dad) but when I stopped to help a biker who had been hit on Hamnmersmith Broadway, there were dozens of angry drivers tooting and yelling at us to move him out of the way. Fuckers.

Mind you, no injuries but also astonished by the selfishness of drivers when a stupid man crashed into my behind at a roundabout. Plenty of people beeped and yelled because the road was blocked. Really upset me - was already in shock, it was NOT my fault and it wasn't my fault the road was blocked either, it was the amazingly dense other driver who pulled round my car to look at the damage. (I was on a driving lesson so my instructor was talking to the other driver.)

Original poster
Notyetamummy · 17/10/2010 17:07

That makes me feel better TechLovingDad. Atleast there are some people who care enough to help - better too many than too few.

OP posts:
izzywizzywoowooo · 17/10/2010 17:07

SOME people are such arses, I mean beeping people along??

Fuck them! Stuff is more important.

Original poster
Notyetamummy · 17/10/2010 17:08

I'm so sorry edam that must have been a horrible experience.

OP posts:
Bumperlicious · 17/10/2010 17:09

Dh had to give first aid to an elderly man when he worked in a shop & people were literally stepping over him to come in & get their papers.

TechLovingDad · 17/10/2010 17:10

There's something about being in a car that makes some people feel that they are in a bird's hide. They can see out but no-one can see in. This can only explain this kind of behaviour, "I'll toot and shout cos they can't get to me". Or picking your nose. Or worse. Grin

wahwah · 17/10/2010 17:15

The cure for bystander apathy is to make eye contact and ask for specific help- even if it means stopping a car. The arses who see a serious accident as an imposition will probably not respond!

fedupofnamechanging · 17/10/2010 17:18

How is the 3 year old doing? Hope all is well

LetThereBeRock · 17/10/2010 17:18

I think you've been unlucky. There are without a doubt,a lot of selfish people out there,but I don't think it's true that the majority of people are.

Personally speaking I've never witnessed an incident when anyone has fallen,or had any sort of accident and has been ignored. There's always been at least a few people rushing to assist.

Nancy66 · 17/10/2010 17:28

If I witnessed a serious road accident i'd call the emergency services but that would be it.

I'd be far too fearful of making an injury worse by moving somebody in the wrong way.

I don't think the majority are selfish at all. When I was mugged lots of strangers came to my aid - when my mum fell down the stairs at a train station people couldn't do enough to help her.

I think people will help if they feel they can.