To want BIL & GF to just get a bloody room

[OneTwoBludgerMySkull]

Or just use the one they have?!

Am at the PILs with DH and DD. Just had a fantastic lunch and we are now sitting here in the living room watching what can only be described as an outtake from a crap porn film.

BIL's GF is "wearing" clothes that she really shouldn't be and the slobbering noises urgh

I have grabbed DD and retreated away from them but AIBU in thinking they have a room upstairs to use and that his 1 year old neice does not need to be confronted with such a sight after her lunch?

(OK IABU but ew ew ew it is gross)

You sound like an elderly, disapproving auntie.
have you tried tutting and telling him that she dresses like a tart?
Or sucking your false teeth vigorously.

Can't you go home if you don't like it?

Am trying to suck teeth but failing!

We could go home but DD is here to see her grandparents, just doing it in the kitchen as the grunts were getting a tad noisy!

What about saying something!

"Gosh. It sounds like he tastes really nice."

Or just saying to any other adult in the room "aah, look at them, isn't it sweet. I remember when I was young and foolish and couldn't control myself in public. Ah, look at them eating each other up, to be young and in love.." and then just sit and stare at them, sighing every now and again.

They will leave the room soon enough

They need a lesson in manners.

ooh, or - get grandma to keep the kids in the kitchen and go into living room with dh and set up on other sofa, slobbering noisily and grunting.

Or how about just saying "FGS you two, get a room will you? We've just eaten."

I went with clam's suggestion.

It worked!

pah. you know you would have had more fun taking the piss

In front of BIL's parents? Weird.

I'd have said "ooh he must be yummy. Can I have some?"

Yay!

I'd tell them straight - pack it in or go upstairs. I'd have gone right through any of my kids if they'd tried that on in our living room when they were younger (all grown up now).

What a pair of idiots.

How a bout a 'Do you mind?' in your most waspish voice.

If your daughter is old enough to talk, make pretend shushing noises and say "I know her bottom is huge isn't it? Yes, like jelly. You can see her what? Who taught you that word?" and so on..

The answer is to send your DD in to play with her uncle. My 14 month old is very insistent and impossible to ignore.

"Gosh. It sounds like he tastes really nice."

I am definitely going to use that, Hecate. Thanks!

Or you could sit there with DH and give a running commentary:

"they're not doing it right at all, are they?"

"look at where his hands are"

"has he got an erection now?"

"why d'you think she's holding her head in that position?"

Etc. etc.

HerBeatitude, that sounds like the criticism I got from DH when I was first trying to breastfeed DS!

Apart from the erection bit, naturally.