to not do what my husband wants every weekend

[bambinobambino]

Dh works full time and I am sahm. It's fine and DH does his fair share etc but we always have to revolve around him at the weekend.

Today we were supposed to be meeting some friends at local garden for a family fun day. They cancelled at the last minute but I still wanted to go. DH then looked on the Internet and found some motor racing on which he really wanted to go to. I said no. actually I said he could go by himself if he wanted but he wanted my to go. Cue asking ds1 who is 4 what he would rather do. Garden or racing cars. Ds1 obviously said cars and then became a broken record.

I stood firm and we are at the gardens. DC having whale of a time wTching kite flying, circus skills. Lovely autumn day.

DH is still sulking. Has been playing game on phone, grumbling about everything.

I am currently queuing for much whilst he festers on the lawn.

This happens all the time.

He plays games on his phone on a family day out? Sulks? Blimey, I'd be fuming, nevermind the rest.

I don't know about who was right or wrong in deciding what to do. I would hate motor racing so I am biased. But I would be livid at his behaviour and lack of grace now.

Have to say though, I would find starting a MN thread on a family day out odd too - you're there now? This minute?

Both of you put down your bloody phones and play in the sunshine with your children. And play nicely now

It's clear who is the adult in your relationship.
I often go for the option you offered him, going on your own if it's something the other isn't interested in at all. But that works for both of us, and when we had littlies, sometimes they went with him, sometimes with me and sometimes we had one each.

Hang on you are on mn on your day out whilst cuing? And yet you are upset about him playing games on his phone? Did I get the wrong end of the stick?

I'd have let him take ds1 to the cars and gone on my own to the other thing with the littliest one

BigChris, she gave him the option to go on his own but he wanted her to go too.

YANBU, if you disagree on what you want to do then take it in turns as to who gets to choose, or, occasionally, you could each do your own thing.

Sorry. That should have read queuing for lunch. Hence I was on my phone. Dh had Dcs outside.

I'm now queuing for loo!

what age is your DH???

i agree with you that it shouldn'y necessarily be his choice just because the work he does is salaried (if that is what you are getting at? does he think because he works out of teh home he should have the say about weekends?) or is this jsut a case of him in general being a bit selfish and always wanting his own way? sulking on a family day out tells me it's teh latter.

Seems to me, though, that you could go to the gardens with the children in the week - okay, there may not be an event on, but if that's the sort of day out you like, then you're free to do it.

When is he supposed to spend the day doing what he wants? On Monday, you could be at the garden with the children, whereas he will be at work.

I'm NOT saying it's an easy life being a SAHM, before I get flamed. I am saying that you actually have more choice in how you spend your days than he does.

Why couldn't he take your elder son and have a fun day out with him? You could then either go to the gardens with your other child, or do something else you wanted.

Well if he wanted you to go or not, you could have refused and sent him and DS off to the racing...I would have done that and had a nicce time on my own....why don't you agree to take it in turns? Reminds me of the Simpsons episode when Homer makes them all go to the Monster Truck thing.

"Today we were supposed to be meeting some friends at local garden for a family fun day. They cancelled at the last minute but I still wanted to go. DH then looked on the Internet and found some motor racing on which he really wanted to go to."

So - he was fine to go to the gardens until the friends cancelled and then he decided to go elsewhere? And now he's sulking? What a big baby.

YANBU btw - my ex-fiancé was like that too - always had to do what he wanted or he sulked; but wouldn't countenance us doing separate things because he wanted me to come along on whatever he wanted to do too. Fucking selfish, I called it.

Atswim. More than happy for him to go by himself, but he wanted us to spend the day together.

And no I can't go in the week as ds1 is at school.

It's the attempts to use Ds1 to manipulate me that I hate most. As if it's all for ds1s benefit and somehow I'm the selfish one.