To be shocked at my brothers helplessness

[whelker]

My brother (13) is staying with me for the weekend and he is literally useless at doing anything. This morning I found him trying to get his toast out of the toaster with a knife and when I told him not to he had no idea why you shouldn't do it. On Friday when he arrived I asked for his help to make his bed up and he couldn't put a pillow case on a pillow. I know he's only 15 but have never seen anyone so inept

is he 13 or 15?

have your parents babied him, because it's easier to do it for him than teach him and wait for him to become competent?
Is he 13 or 15?

I have alot of common sense but I tried to get toast from a toaster with a knife when I was bout 14 - luckily I just broke one of the hot strips inside and didn't blow myself up Surely pillow case is common sense - is he putting it on abit so he doesn't have to do it?

Sorry he is 13

Sounds like he's the baby of the family who gets everything done for him. Seems he needs his big sister to give him some lessons in life

Odd, I'm presuming you learnt requisite bed linen and toaster skills from DPs, so why has this not been transmitted to him ?

Knife/toaster thing is just understandable.

Pillow and pillowcase? Not really, unless he is hiding a spatial skills awareness probem from you. He's putting it on, don't fall for his crap!

I do wonder whether male "helplessness" is some kind of learned response or innate dimness.
My DH sounds a lot like your brother - had to explain to him why he shouldn't lie the bread down in the toaster (because then you can't get it out without using a knife and that's dangerous... because you might stick it into an element and electrocute yourself )

He doesn't seem able to get a duvet into a duvet cover either, although he can just about manage a pillow into a pillowcase. If he does get the duvet in, the simple operation of 'doing up the buttons/poppers' to stop it coming out again is too much though.

His ma freely admits she gave up training him when he was 13 though - so his "skills" are kind of stuck at that point.

I find it highly irritating to have to train a DH in the art of household chores - it really shouldn't be my job but I'm damned if I'm going to let him continue with his teen-style attitudes!

lie the bread down in the toaster

3TW, please enlighten me; what is this ?

ffs - lay the bread down. On its long side, not short end.

ffs - lay the bread down. On its long side, not short end.

I see, thanks.

All toasters [and bread] I have ever purchased are length-wise compatible.

You get an uncooked bit the other way.

not in ours you don't. I got one big enough to take the bread standing up. And leave just enough bread at the top to be able to hoik it out without knife usage.

If you don't put the bread longways-down you get an uncooked bit.

An extra-large toaster where you can't reach the bread in its popped-up state sounds dangerous!

surely a fork is better? better grippage?

I have younger brothers. When they were 19 and 17 my father asked me to go to his house (they lived at home) to cook and clean for them after work when he was away. AFter my work that is, the youngest is now 21 and has never worked, the elder got a job finally at 22.

My father is not particularly sexist, he does all the cooking and cleaning. He just thinks that I should do housework for the poor boys because they couldn't manage . I have no idea why some parents do this.

I'm afraid its probably a consequence of your DPs never showing/making him do things around the house. My DB and Dsis are both 16 and I suspect they would also do equally stupid things.

Why do so many parents do this disservice to their sons?

I left home financially, domestically and socially continent.

Same house, same parents, and my little brother needs advice and support to tie his own shoe laces. They just did everything for him. He is a bit lazy and was happy to let them. Now he is a grown man and on top of the general stresses of normal life he is blundering along with no idea what he is doing and absolutely terrified of anyone finding out, because it isn't MANLY to not know how the world works. I feel for him.

Hello sorry to sidetrack onto the toast issue again but has no one else got any wooden toast tongs?? My mum bought me some and I thought 'oh here we go she's wasting spending money at Lakeland again on daft gadgets' but they are actually genius. Good for little C@#$%^& presents too..... Try them :)

just a point on the toast issue - if you turn the toaster down to about 2 on the dial, you can put it in upright then when it pops out, turn it over and re-toast it.

When it pops again it's done all over, just slightly more done in the middle.

Obviously if you like it a bit more well done than I do, you'd turn the dial up a bit but still do the whole turny over thing.

Anyway, yes your bro should be doing stuff for himself by now but then again dp has never to my knowledge changed a pillowcase and he's 46

Do your toasters not have a handle that lifts the toast above element level, so you can get it out without the knife?

My 13 year old is a bit like this. I am slowly getting him to do more things for himself, but he is resisting.

I am 39 and still alive, and get my toast out the toaster with a knife every morning

I get toast out of the toaster with a knife. Well I used to, until our toaster died. So if this is a thread about toast, any reccomendations for a new one

YANBU btw. I despise the way boys are babyed by some parents.

I get the toast out with a knife. I am still here

If your DB is a guest in your house surely you should be feeding him and making up the spare bed?

I consider those sort of things normal hostess "duties" anyway.