to wish that parents of toddlers didn't always seem to assume that older children don't matter when it comes to play grounds?

[GoreRenewed]

I took DD and a friend of hers, and DS#2 to a garden centre with a really nice playarea today. DD is 11 and sensible. DS has as much common sense as a bowl of rice-pudding so I decided the stay with him and let DD and her mate go on the zip-wire alone. I left them there with 2 younger children in front of them waiting to have a go. DS and I went off to do our own thing.

About 10mins later I went back and told them we needed to go. "But mum we haven't had a go yet" said DD. At this point there were about 5 LOs with various adults waiting with them. The girls were at the back whilst the parents hussled their kids to the front of the queue as if DD and her friend weren't there.

So I said very loudly " well I think it must be your turn now don't you?".
"Erm mum, we had to wait" a desperately embarrassed look from DD. Which earned me a hard stare and a tut from one mother

They were being polite and well-behaved and the parents weren't. Why would a parent decide that was OK? 11 yr olds are not adults and they should be treated with consideration too.

A zip wire is not an exclusively toddler thing.

Was quite cross as it happens. It isn't the first time I've seen it. "Big kids" shouldn't be there seems to be the attitude.

YANBU!!

i used to be friends with a twat lady who used to huff and puff and say things like 'those children are far to old' when on things like the zip wire WTF...its not like they are playing in a toddler area!!!

i also find at load of groups/playgrounds etc that lots of parents of children under about 18mths would say things like 'owh its annoying when people bring there older children here' talking about children from 3+ FFS where do they expect to be taking there children in a few years when they are the 'older' children!!! it makes me sooo mad!!!

yes and parents giving young teenagers chatting in playgrounds dirty looks as if they're shooting up heroin fgs

hahaha ggirl that is so true!!

ynoopsssim - so true I can hardly bear "toddler groups" because of the way they talk about older children like they've grown two heads, you're dying to tell them their baby will grow into that "violent snot monster" whether they like it or not.

I'm afraid that's the flipside of your toddler not being able to get near the swings etc because of the tweenagers dominating them. I don't take dd to the park much, I leave it to DH because I got so pissed off with DD looking longingly at something only to have 3 or 4 older kids refuse to get off it for a while when asked politely. What they're doing in the tinies' playground is anyone's guess but you can't have it both ways.

but our playgrounds have stuff for big kids and little ones.

YANBU. I have normally found the bigger kids fab at playgrounds. My kids love talking to bigger kids and so far any I have come across have been really nice.

Your DD and friend sound like lovely polite little things - shame the other parents weren't!!

So does ours but they prefer the little playground. It has one of those big round things on the swing that about 4 kids can sit on and they dominate it. Drives me mad as the little ones love it but can't get near it, or the roundabout.

An older kid put my three year old on a zip wire in the woods the other day,explained that she had to hold on and ran down with her.They played quite happily for twenty minutes.Not all pre teens are hooligans !Your dd sounds lovely.

So true, my dd is 11, very shy and the worst place for extremely rude families pushing-in-front-of-quiet-polite-children to get to the 'activities' is/are...

National Trust properties.

Although maybe should be grateful she can't get to the front of the Cafe queue to pay a squillion pounds for an orange juice. She even got scowled at for picking up apples. In an apple orchard. I'm a disabled mum and can do without playground politics and judgery when every outing is painful. Unclench please NT mummies.

Usual cutoff age for standard playgrounds is about 11-13. I entirely agree that the parents of toddlers are often extremely rude to older children. I would have thought in fact that a zip wire were too ambitious for a toddler, and they were out of order. Always drives me nuts that parents of toddlers assume that a 10-11 yo should be capable of and behave like an adult. A 10 yo who behaved like an adult in all things will worry me.

On the other hand I can remember feeling like this when my children were small. It is entirely unreasonable and was mostly to do with the fact that at times there were secondary school age kids smoking in the playground when toddlers were about, and doing frankly dangerous things like throwing things around (eg bottles or larg full size rugby balls) when there were very little children likely to get hit by them. It just wound me up about all older children in the playground.

What I find with playgrounds is that they are used in fairly predictable waves. If you want to go there when there are only only toddlers, the middle of the school day is a good bet.

YANBU, OP.

YANBU.

I am one of those parents who sneaks a go on the zip wire when only myself and dd are around!

YANBU.

But I usually see toddlers and older children sharing our local playgrounds very nicely. I would never ask an older child to get off something like a zipwire for my toddler DD. But I would ask them (very politely!) to move if they were on equipment designed for younger kids and showed no sign of moving after waiting for a bit.

Yanbu - although at all of you who have zip wires in your playgrounds.

I have a 2.5 yo who loves the "big slide" in the playground. I'm happy to let him use it under my close supervision but am quick to check him if he is doing normal toddler things like dilly-dallying half-way up the steps or at the top of the slide when he might be in the way of other (usually bigger) kids wanting to use it.

Agree on the toddler group point. I gave up on one or two after getting tired of feeling like my baby dd was welcome but toddler ds was not, ostensibly due to lack of age -appropriate toys but really because any child over the age of 2 was too much distraction from coffee, chat and cooing.

I clearly remember being very very PFB about DS1. We went to Charlie Chalks when he was about 2 and being very cross indeed when a few 'big' kids piled into the ball pit. I think I even 'mentioned' it to the manageress But the problem was that my 'baby' was 2 and the others were all of ...ooh, about 6! Truth was he was absolutely fine and as it wasn't a 'baby' facility he was probably the one that shouldn't have been there if anyone - but I wasn't going to see it that way I guess.

Gore - I totally agree.

I too remember being alarmed by older children when mine were little, but now my DSs are 7 and 10 I do get a bit annoyed by the way that some people treat and talk about pre-teens (and teens). Loads of unreasonable expectations of their behaviour - they may be big but they are still children.

For those of you with toddlers - if you genuinely feel that older children are hogging a piece of equipment - just ask them nicely if your DC can have a turn. 9/10 times they will Look contrite and do as you ask. You probably won't get a mouthful of abuse (which you may fear). Just think of how you would like others to talk to your DC when they are older. I feel quite strongly about this.

I do pull up teens on bad behaviour - dropping litter, swearing loudly in front of small children, and it's generally OK (and I live in a fairly "rough" area

Seems like your children had manners and respect for their elders whereas the adults had neither manners or respect.

YANBU at all. When DS was a toddler I would often meet a friend and her son in a local park, and my friend was always moaning about older kids. It drove me mad.

On the other hand, I was at a playground the other day, where two girls (aged about8) refused to let my DS (nearly4) go on one particular thing. I had to go up and tell them it was his turn. I felt like a meanie but they were being horrid.

I remember my four year old being told "GET OUT OF HERE YOU'RE FAR TOO BIG FOR THIS AREA" while he played in an under six's soft play area. This was from a twatty helicopter mother who was frantically trying to physically restrain a boy who could not have been younger than 3.5.

some people are utterly blind to the rest of the world, and perceive threat in normality.

And I did say "He's four, not ten, and he's active. Maybe your son would be active if you stopped trying to lie on him?"

Spooky - it's a shame they had to be told - I hopr mine wouldn't do that - would be generous in sharing. But that's how they learn - "It takes a village to raise a child" and all that

colditz! What did she say?

hope not hopr

She didn't, she went scarlet and started TALKING LOUDLY TO HER SON about how it was lunchtime.

You know, that special voice you use when you are TALKING to your BELOVED CHILDREN and you WANT everyone to UNDERSTAND that not only are your children BELOVED, but also you haven't even NOTICED SOMEONE ELSE HAS SPOKEN TO THEM.

And then they left.

I would have had to insult her under my breath, but loud enough for her to hear, but I am petty like that!