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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that DD's a bit of a brainbox?

34 replies

GoldenHaze · 16/10/2010 20:36

OK, this isn't a smug look-at-my-child sort of a thread. Honestly it isn't. I'd just appreciate some perspective!

DD's two years, four months and seems to be a bright spark. She's could read numbers before she turned two and has had the alphabet (lower and upper case letters) down to a tee for about three months. Today we went to a cafe and she read the word 'cup' to me, as in "C. U. P. Cup. It's cup." I was amazed.

So, should I be impressed or should I just shut up and realise that this is nothing special really?

I'm not writing this with anticipation that people will say she's particularly intelligent or anything. She's my first child, so I'm not too familiar with development milestones really. Confused

BTW, I'm not a pushy sort at all. She's shown an interest in reading for ages, and so we look at books etc. If anything I shy against 'pushing' her in case she loses interest. Perhaps I should encourage her more?

OP posts:
cory · 16/10/2010 20:40

Sounds a bright girl, I think you should enjoy and follow her lead.

HumphreyCobbler · 16/10/2010 20:41

I think this is very clever of her. I would be deeply impressed if one of my own children did a similar thing.

GoldenHaze · 16/10/2010 20:47

Thanks for your replies.

I feel like I look like a show-off, but I'm really not. I stopped myself texting my dad when she read the word, because I don't want to look smug or like a pushy parent.

I really appreciate your opinions. Thanks.

OP posts:
princessglitter · 16/10/2010 20:49

Sounds bright. My 2 year old(now 3) was similar and is now reading simple phonics based stories at just turned 3. I think some children just pick up reading very quickly - I would just go with the flow :)

Lynli · 16/10/2010 20:49

My DS was similar to this, he read very early.

He soon learned that people would be surprised and would read everything he could see when we were in public, just so everyone could be amazed by how clever he was.

He is now exceptionally intelligent (if I am allowed to say that).

He has thankfully now learned to be a little more discreet about it.

I would say you DD is very clever.

PixieOnaLeaf · 16/10/2010 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

phipps · 16/10/2010 20:50

My dd was reading at 2. She is 7 now. In top groups for everything and is scarily bright. Your dd is clever too. :).
Just remember she is 2 emotionally though.

activate · 16/10/2010 20:51

oh it's lovely that she's learning to read so early and enjoying it so much

it is not a big sign of braininess though - just that that's where her development is - you wouldn't think her a sport star if she was running and jumping everywhere

but that said it's brilliant for her to be able to work that out and you should encourage her interest and enjoy it - she may well be a brainbox in later years, or not, but she sounds happy

GoldenHaze · 16/10/2010 20:53

Thanks for your replies and advice. :)

I was a bit OTT on the way home: "What does that word say. Read those numbers etc, etc. Silly.

Yes, I will be mindful of over-praising if she does turn out to be bright. Nobody likes a big head!

OP posts:
activate · 16/10/2010 20:53

that said it is quite unusually early so wait for all the gifted comments and keep grounded like you sound in your last para

activate · 16/10/2010 20:54

don't praise talent - praise effort is my mantra

Feelingsensitive · 16/10/2010 20:54

She's clever I would say. DS aged 2.6 definately couldnt do that (bless him). DD aged 5 is IMO bright. I find it best to follow her lead. Get some basic reading books from the library (one word on each page type things) and just read them with her and take it from there.

GoldenHaze · 16/10/2010 20:59

Yes, I agree with everyone's comments. Thank you.

I'm not sure what gifted and talented is all about.

I do know that I wouldn't want to pressurise her though, especially at the age of two.

When we got home, I wrote the word "cup" and asked her to read it again, and she said "No mummy! Please put Peppa Pig on the telly!" Fair enough, I thought! :)

OP posts:
twirlymum · 16/10/2010 21:04

Def bright. DS was like that.
At his two year checkup, he had a toy dinosaur with him. The HV said, ooh, a dinosaur, scary!
He gave her a withering look and said 'it's a brachiosaurus and it's made of plastic'
He has a fascination with the solar system (he's now 3.8) and loved Prof Brian Cox's series.

sethstarkaddersmummyreturns · 16/10/2010 21:04

sounds clever to me.
don't under-praise her either though - I mean, don't worry so much about overpraising that she ends up not realising you are proud of her.
(I was infant brainbox but my parents were so careful to not make my older brother feel thick that I grew up thinking he was cleverer than me and they were prouder of him even though I outperformed him at school Confused - it was an emotional moment when my parents finally explained what was going on and that they were proud of me after all.)
you can make her understand intelligence is not the be-all and end-all without denying her intelligence to her.

GoldenHaze · 16/10/2010 21:16

Yes, sethstark, I know what you mean. Throughout my school years I really resented the constant negative criticism I received from my parents. Only a couple of years ago, I spoke to my dad about it and he said it was because I was a "clever lass" and they wanted to me push myself and do well. It didn't work. It made me feel like crap!

OP posts:
sethstarkaddersmummyreturns · 16/10/2010 21:18

no danger of you making that mistake then! Smile

mrsbabookaloo · 16/10/2010 21:22

So glad to see a potential gifted and talented thread where the OP calls a spade a spade and says "Wow! Look at what my kid can do! I'm amazed and proud" rather than dressing it up as something else. Sounds pretty amazing to me. And fun. And imagine...you're off the hook for story reading so much sooner than other parents (just kidding....or am I?).

Completely agree with SethStark and GoldenHaze...my parents kept stuff from me (eg good reports from school)so I wouldn't get a big head and I don't think I realised that I could have done anything I wanted to.

GoldenHaze · 16/10/2010 21:27

Yes, mrsbabookaloo, she can read her own bedtime stories in future! Wink

Thanks for your reply. Yes, I was amazed and am now very proud thanks to everyone's kind comments.

Don't worry though, feet firmly on the ground. I appreciate that all children develop at different rates and this could just be a nice little phase. :)

OP posts:
activate · 16/10/2010 21:38

I think I might need to take under-praising concept to heart

I think I am guilty of this

too late for DS1 and 2 of course but might be able to rescue 3 and DD

brassband · 16/10/2010 21:43

I've seen far too many 'genius' toddlers turn into mediocre schoolchildren to be too impressed.

activate · 16/10/2010 21:46

to be fair DS2 not that bright really Grin

Lynli · 16/10/2010 21:55

My DS's teacher told me that you should praise girls, but not boys.

DD2 was of average intelligence but had no confidence, was always saying she was stupid.

So when DS was born, I always told him he was really clever and praised him, all of the time.

I often wonder if he is clever simply because he always believed he was.

The teacher said you must praise girls to give them confidence, but boys become over arrogant if praised too much.

I don't agree.

cory · 16/10/2010 22:00

Nor me, Lynli. Dd has always had a healthy dose of self confidence but ds is convinced that he is rubbish at everything. The only problem is, because his confidence is so low he handles praise really badly: it just convinces him that you feel sorry for him.

AmelieMay · 16/10/2010 22:38

Gifted I think.

We played around with phonics too when my litte one was 3 and she caught on so quickly it was scarey! We just did it as a bit of fun really and because she was/is a total book worm. Before starting school she could read words like balloon and free - these days she loves spelling tests and horrible history books. She is bright and particularly gifted with reading etc but other children seem to be more able in other areas (reading, maths, drawing, sport).