AIBU to wonder why people ALWAYS outstay their welcome??

[proudnscary]

Right, we have tons of lovely friends and family all nearby and see a lot of them all. Great, love it.

But why in the name of Christopher Biggins do they all draw out every get together until dh and I lose the will to live???

1. 90% of our friends who come to Sunday lunch overstay their welcome. By 6pm I'm clearing up, 6.30pm offering visiting children sandwiches for the 'journey home', 7pm yawning, 7.30pm saying loudly to my dc 'BATHTIME SOON GUYS', 8pm - all of the above until they meander out at 8.30pm-ish. It's a school night, my dc are 6 and 8 - go home!

1. My mother. Saw her today from 9am til 3pm as I do most Saturdays, took her out for lunch, got coffee on way back, had great time, lots of fun with the kids in park. I think to myself that I have checked every single solitary box that she could want or need. As we get to the door: 'I'll just come in for another coffee'. Arrrggghh, no mother, I don't want you to come in. She did this once after a 12 hour day at Legoland - came in 'for coffee' at 8pm. I nearly wept.

My pils came round during my first labour to "pick up the dog". And stayed, and stayed. I was in LABOUR and had to disappear for contractions and phoning the midwife. They wanted to chat and they made tea. What can you do with people like that?

AND dh was with them keeping them happy instead of ME in the bedroom squawking.

I am like an elephant. I never forget.

You should do what my sister does - she says - 'do you want a brew before you go ?' - oh to have the nerve to say that. But Ijust know one day someone will say to her - I havent said I was going !

We have a friend who is v good at getting rid of guests who outstay their welcome.

He says...

'I think everyone should go home now'!!!

I do say 'do you want a sandwich/cuppa/last glass of wine before you go' and it still doesn't seem to work!

My 3 year old ds is available for hire. He often asks for things like watching a programme on tv / getting the paints out etc and I say 'we can do that later ds when X and Y have gone'. He then goes up to them about 30 seconds later and says 'are you going now?'

alicet

My DH deals with this very well and it has rubbed off on me to some extent, if people came back to his flat and stayed till 2 am drinking his whisky he'd say "you're welcome to stay, there's the sofa, I'm off to bed now"!

alicet my DCs are a bit like that, they always want to know when adult visitors are going home, though in their minds it isn 't rude, they just want to plan what they can do!

My dad once came for a night and ended up staying nearly a week. It was my fault really for saying, "you can stay longer if you like, I've got nothing on." Forgetting that my dad, unlike most people, takes things very literally. Sadly he also doesn't take hints so DP had to pretty much say to him, "you're gonna have to leave soon, I've got a phd to write." (We live in a small flat, DPs desk is in the living room along with the sofa my dad was sleeping on.)

Since my ds was approx 18 mths old, he's found the most direct approach. He goes and gets their shoes, places them in front of them, and says 'Home now!'

If that didn't work, he'd go and put on his own shoes and come back in saying 'I go now!'

I have it the other way around - when I visit an elderly aunt she always wistfully says she wishes I could stay longer. She has mild dementia so doesn't remember that I have other comittments (like collecting dcs from school) or if the dcs are with me doesn't realise that it is very boring for them. I have to be quite direct with her to make my escape but feel a bit guilty as she is probably lonely...

My ILs are incapable of 'popping in' - a visit is a minimum of 3 hours. They have a thing about eating with people as part of a relationship and therefore would get really huffy if we didn't offer them a meal, so naturally extending their stay. They also have utterly no concept that we might want to do something that doesn't involve them.

DH 'We're going to XXXXX now Mum' (so leave)

MIL 'Lovely, we'll come with you'

Oh yes I have had joined at the hip visits too.
Once when the ILs came to stay I doubled my helping in school time just to get away. To the supermarket, to my friends' for coffee, they would even come with me to the classroom door when it was reading rota, and be waiting just outside when I came out. Gaahhh.

Subtle hints don't always work.
My SIL used to do the tidying away and yawning routine whilst DB and I were in deepest discussion about putting the world to rights, like you do late at night.
I'm not overly keen on SIL (too uptight and prissy for my liking) so have been known to delay my exit purposely to wind her up.[evil emoticon]

I laughed at Alicet and Whocantakeasunrise's DCs, as it's such a familiar story. In the early stagfes of talking, DS would tolerate my having a little chat, then suddenly say, "Bye bye!" It was such a sweet baby voice that no-one openly took offence!