to give cleaning stuff to smelly neighbour?

[scouserabroad]

The flat next door smells really, really, vomit-inducingly bad. It's been so bad for such a long time that the guy is being taken to court by the housing association to make him sort it out. I, and most of our other neighbours, have tried speaking to him about it but he won't listen.

This morning at the supermarket I bought basic cleaning stuff which I intend to give him, plus info from the RSPCA about caring for animals (he has 6 or 7 cats in a two room flat). I'm not naive enough to think it will make a difference because if he cared about hygiene at all he wouldn't have let it get this bad. But maybe if he had bleach, wipes, bin bags, etc. right there in front of him, he would use them?

AIBU to do this? It is a patronising thing to do, isn't it? I think he could probably be classed as an alcoholic, and may have other issues - little sense of personal boundaries, for one. Plus he won't let anyone (social workers, etc.) into his flat, which is why they're having to take him to court.

From the sounds of it the whole flat will need deep cleaning by professionals. I don't think wipes etc will scratch the surface :\ and he doesn't sound as if he will do anything to help himself either. Good luck.

I doubt he'll be inclined to pick up a bottle of Flash and do it himslef. Maybe offer to do it for him?

I'm hoping the HA does manage to make him professionnally clean it, might take months though. I know if I really wanted it doing I should offer to help... but the smell turns my stomach as soon as I step out of my front door, I dread to think what it would be like actually inside his flat. Plus my Dh is away and I'd worry that my neighbour would read something else behind my offer to help IYKWM.

Sounds like he has depression, if i were you i would call the rspca, they will help him and the animals and also contact adult social services about the cleanliness too. He should be supported by the local authority.

But good on you for being pro active.

Wait for your DH to come home, and ask him to drop off the cleaning stuff.

I doubt it will do any good, but you will have done all you can.

Yes, it is a sad situation.

Sounds like something deeper than a lack of cleaning materials and a bad dose of procrastination.

Hoarding (of animals and stuff) as a condition does tend to go hand in hand with poor hygiene as a result of the ever more cramped conditions. OCD, depression and other co morbid conditions could all be a factor. Substance abuse (drugs, alcohol) is a possible red flag of the above too, although it could of course be the primary cause of his living conditions all by itself.

I'd be more inclined to call in social services myself, or whichever agency in the UK deals with mental health outreach. To see if his issues are of the sort requiring their type of help. Although I wouldn?t go into breath holding mode for their imminent arrival and effective action.

I'm really sorry you are having to live with this on your doorstep, it is easy to focus on the (potentially) ill person when you have distance, but when you are living with it is can be an utter nightmare and the neighbours' wellbeing and quality of life has to count too.

I do think it's sad, I just don't know what to do about it. Dh used to get on quite well with him, give him lifts etc. but the bloke started asking to be driven all over the place, every day and wouldn't accept when Dh said "Sorry, I can't". That's why I'm not willing to get too involved.

I also feel bad because the housing association asked me and the other neighbours to put our complaint in writing so that the bloke could be taken to court. I wrote a letter, but I hope it doesn't lead to him being made homeless or anything. Then again something does have to be done because he won't accept help even though he's not happy as he is (drinks really heavily, doesn't go out and keeps complaining that he's lonely, bored etc.)

I had just assumed that the housing association would have contacted social services before starting the court proceedings, but maybe they haven't? I think I will call them on Monday, can't do any harm anyway. I'm not in the UK, but the local version of the RSPCA won't come out and see him because they argue that he's not mistreating the animals.

Really? not mistreating the animals? in the uk, the state of the house alone would be enough for them to come and see him, and they would convince him to sign them over to them!

Very sad indeed, makes me feel happier about the rspca though!

How about one of the local animal charities?

I got nowhere with the "offical"ish body re animals, but a tiny local cat charity came and managed to sort out a case of, not abuse so much, as a person who had become overwhelmed by the animals they had collected. They had no legal standing to remove the animals, but were incredibly diplomatic and persuasive.

I started this thread ages ago & I'm bringing it back up in case anyone else is ever in this situation. I felt bad because so many people were complaining to the housing association, it felt like we were ganging up on him, but in fact it was totally the right thing to do in this case.

The court allowed the housing association to force entry into the flat & clean it. It turned out that the whole place was about a foot deep in rubbish and shit (literally) and the electricity had been cut off for the past three months. :( .

This guy really really needed help, and now he has a social worker etc. so hopefully will be OK.

I actually spoke to my neighbour today, and he seems sooo much happier in himself. :)

That's great. He'd probably got to the stage where he just couldn't face the insurmountable mess in his flat. It must be a bit relief for his neighbours too!

that's great- and sounds like you all got a result as soon as the wheels started turning (I was a housing officer for a HA donkey's years ago and remember how loooooong this sort of thing can take)