Mourning not havng another child

[nzshar]

IKIABU but I did'nt know where to put this. Just need a Friday rant really :)

DP and I have been together for almost 10 years have a wonderful dss 16 and ds 6. Dp had THE op three years ago. We always knew we only wanted one child and I love ds to bits. Why then when our neighbours have had a baby in the last week do I feel all of these feelings of broodiness (sp).

I almost feel like I am in mourning for the children I will never have, or for that matter never have planned for. I am the wrong side of 39 and know that this is what we decided on but still ....

Thats it really. Please someone just tell me to get a grip :)

Get a grip and pull yourself together.

Thanks :)

Don't be too hard on yourself. I get very broody too - not that I actually want anymore, but I still feel sad sometimes that the baby days are well and truly over. Be kind to yourself, count your blessings, and focus your energy on your DC's and you and your OH. It will soon pass

It is natural. I bet a lot of people feel like that. A friend of mine had two children aged 16 and 13, then had a planned baby for her 40th birthday present!
You probably need a little period of 'mourning' and then will be able to move on and enjoy the children and the freedom you will have as younger one grows up.

know how you feel, it's really sad
Actually is heart wrenching and soul-destroying, but we will get over it!! sometime!

My dd is also 6 and I know how you feel. We chose not to have another child for several reasons after having her. I know in my head it's the right thing for all of us and had no urge to have another. Then I started working at our local nursery/surestart centre and the broodiness has been getting worse and worse.
Love dd to bits though and really quite the the fact that we have such a close relationship. I also know that I need my own space & time too much to be a good mum to more than 1 child so will just make the most of the LO's at work and my mates younger kids!

Good to know ( in a very selfish way) that there are others in the same situation . Thanks all will pull myself together with another vodka :)

I always put upthis to look at on threads like this.

It's worth a dip when you feel in the frame of mind to do so and lots of people have found it interesting over the last few years.

Look up.

Thanks cat even reading the first post of that thread reminds me of the good things. I know I am being silly and it will pass.

love the name bloody and I will :)

It's normal to feel like that, be kind to yourself

I didn't mean to sound horrid, and unsympathetic, but you said "someone tell me to get a grip". so that is what I was doing.

I'm nice really, not nearly that mean at all.
Mostly.

I would love to have another one, if my DH agreed to it. He thinks I am mad and need to find a job and "broaden my horizen!!

No, no bloody you didn't sound horrid. And you are right I asked and it's what I need. I know it won't happen, not with dp anyway ( and we ARE happy) so I am not looking elsewhere :)

Cheers (clink) proud

Cat - that thread is brilliant!

Oh this is so normal, be kind to yourself! I think most women look at babies from time to time and go all mushy, thinking about how lovely it would be... Your brain helpfully erases the heaviness and awkward moving of pregnancy, the pain of labour and delivery, the cracked nipples of establishing breastfeeding, the getting up 200 times a night, the changing endless nappies...

Am I helping? I won't be having another baby for quite a while (surprise teenage mother here...) but even I sometimes see little ones now DS is approaching a year and start thinking "Oh it was so lovely being pregnant / having a newborn..." Thankfully I have my pregnancy diary and bank balance to remind me of the realities.

Cheers