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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be effing livid with dh over the state of his office.?

19 replies

Shhhh · 14/10/2010 19:52

Just ventured up into dh's office, basically one of our bedroom which he uses as an office. I venture into it 6 monthly on average on a must basis as I access the main home computer there and I try and tidy it when I feel brave...

He is away tonight and I have ventured into it to print something for dd's school and I want to download some iTunes... Only able to do both in his office so no choice..

His room is an absolute mess which both annoys me but saddens me really. Our home is lovely, I'm a sahm so I do my best to upkeep our home and I'm proud of it but I'm so embarrassed by his room. Always been the case in the 10 years we have lived together.

I have given up And come our of his room without doing what I need to. He's an it consultant yet the mouse doesn't work, under his desk is a mess of leads, no idea what links to what and they keyboard doesn't even work.

I'm fuming.. Aibu..?

Tbh,if I left the home in this state he would be disgusted so why should he get away with it.? It's full of plates, bowls,cups,food,rubbish,unwashed clothes,unpacked cases,bags of rubbish,not been hoovered for ohhhh 12 months..?

Basically it should be featured on life of grime... And his car.. Don't get me started.

Normally I would turn a blind eye but tonight I'm peeved as have been unable to do what I need to..

OP posts:
AuntiePickleBottom · 14/10/2010 20:06

i more concerned over the Tbh,if I left the home in this state he would be disgusted

i'm sorry but this winds me up

nikki1978 · 14/10/2010 20:10

Can't you just shut the door and ignore it. Offices are notoriously messy (especially the leads etc). Tell him he needs to clear away the crockery and food etc for hygiene reasons but I think you might be being overly anal about the rest of it - it sounds like you might be about tidiness in general.....

Unless it is so bad you can't even get in the room of course. Is it Kim and Aggy style?

mummychicken · 14/10/2010 20:15

OP- are we married to the same man?

Sound identical to his shitpit our office

Original poster
Shhhh · 14/10/2010 20:18

Not sure why it winds you up auntie..?

Nikki,yes I do shut the door and ignore it but tonight I so needed to use the computer in there and couldn't. My iPod download can wait but I needed to print stuff for dd school tomorrow..now I can't..

Honestly, I'm not being anal..it's very Kim and aggy and more so "life of grime". You know when the council go to clear a house and they can hardly enter the room let alone see the carpet, just as they are face to face with a rat !

OP posts:
curlymama · 14/10/2010 20:19

The food, dirty plates and rubbish would bother me ALOT. He needs to keep on top of that for basic hygiene.

But as for the other mess, it's his room, let him have it how he wants.

Original poster
Shhhh · 14/10/2010 20:20

We possibly are mummy chicken...

I just feel sad really... Could be such a lovely office!

OP posts:
Original poster
Shhhh · 14/10/2010 20:22

Things is curlymama, what makes it his room! It's our home so our room and e room just so happens to be where the home computer is and where he works when working from home

It should be a room where all the family can go to access the computer without fighting through rubbish first!

I want my own room if that's the case wink

OP posts:
AuntiePickleBottom · 14/10/2010 20:24

the fact that your husband expects you to do the housework and if it not he is disgusted with you.

Original poster
Shhhh · 14/10/2010 20:43

Well prob that isn't all true, I expect myself to do the housework as I'm a sahm and tbh given the state of his office it's easier to do it myself, I have learnt that over 10 years!

Also, he isn't disgusted with me if I don't do it but seen as it's my role (as above) I feel he would be surprised if it wasn't done. As I would be should he not turn into work one day because he couldn't be bothered.

Not after debate over housework etc. Just annoyed with the state of his room..! The one room I try and leave be and he neve feels the need to help out iykwim.

OP posts:
Georgimama · 14/10/2010 20:46

Is it his room or isn't it? First you say it is his office, then you say it is a room the whole family should be able to access, then you say it is his room.

If it's the only room you try to leave be, then just leave it.

AuntiePickleBottom · 14/10/2010 20:46

could you come up with a solution..put a bin in there for his rubbish, washing basket for his clothes and a washing bowl for his plates ect.

say you will collect in on a certain day

Original poster
Shhhh · 14/10/2010 20:53

Georgimama, it's dh's ATM but only because no one else can get in! But I would love for it to be for us all, ESP now dd is at school using computers and ds will do so next year, would be nice that at least we could sit at the desk and accessnthe Internet without fear of catching ecoli or having to dig the mouse out (keyboard mouse that is btw!)

Not keen on that idea auntie, what I'm wanting is him to do more for himself where the room is concerned iykiwm.

Just venting my frustration that's all...

OP posts:
Georgimama · 14/10/2010 20:55

Thing is, if he works from home he needs a proper space to do that. Work and home are hard to segregate and harder still if everyone else considers it to be the family study or whatever.

nagoo · 14/10/2010 20:56

I would treat him like a child. I would give him a deadline and then when if didn't clean it, I would and all the shit would go in the bin. Presumablyyou have challenged him on this before, and you are not just bitching here and staying silent at home?

Hedgeblunder · 14/10/2010 20:56

I feel your pain, I only go into dp's office if I absolutly have to, there is no way on earth I'm cleaning that.
Would you not be better setting up a seperate computer for your dc's and yourself? In dining room or something?

Original poster
Shhhh · 14/10/2010 21:18

Nagoo, oh yes, I have brought it up on many occasions ! He promises to sort it only to leave it knowing it will blow over till next time..hmm..

Hedgeblunder, we do have a laptop and iPad so guess we could sit in dining room but upstairs would be better ESP as printer connected etc. ATM I email dh what I need printing lol !

OP posts:
Morloth · 14/10/2010 21:23

Only the food stuff would bother me. DH and I share a bedroom, DH gets a study, the boy gets his room - the rest of the house is mine, all mine. I tidy up by picking up their shit and tossing it into their respective caves.

I have my own PC/printer set up in the main part of the house.

nagoo · 14/10/2010 21:34

Start picking up round him next time he's in there then. Irritate him as much as it annoys you Grin

Original poster
Shhhh · 14/10/2010 22:00

Lol nagoo! Good idea !!!

OP posts:
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