to think that my DH could have cleaned the f***ing bath by now?

[CrystalQueen]

My DH got candle wax all over the bath THREE weeks ago. He said he would clean it off when he cleaned the bath. He finally scraped the wax off on Monday but still hasn't cleaned it properly and had a major hissy fit when I reminded him AGAIN to clean it. FFS.

I work FT and he is a SAHD but seems to have no fucking concept of housework. Today for example my parents came over to take DD (2 yrs) out for the day (they do this once a week). I appreciate that he needs a break, but could he not have spent 5 minutes putting the washing away, or hoovering, or indeed cleaning the damn bath? I'm sick of doing more than my fair share. Of course, it's all my fault for having standards that are too high. Like not wanting to get in a manky bath for example.

And breathe.

Cleaner?

Part of me says: what a lazy eejit!!! FFS, do a half-arsed job and then expect your wife to clean up after you, etc etc.

The other part of me says: in the grand scheme of things, is it really worth getting all that cheesed off about this?

I don't know which part of me I'd listen to, but I hope that helps a teensy bit.

what your hubby clean the bath? that's a whole new concept in our house. I used to moan about basic cleaning like the washing up, hoovering etc.....didn't get round the the bath cos the first two took all my energy! Note, past tense, mainly because I just do it all now for a quiet life! I'm happy for the once in a blue moon clean that my OH does and just reassure myself with the fact that he goes to work and does hard men's things all day.....yes the fight has been lost I'm afraid....I do find other ways to amuse myself though, like dishing up dinner with the dog's fork and using his socks to wipe the toilet seat - well it's a more peaceful way of keeping myself sane.

Our filthy bath is not a big thing in all the problems of the world. However it is pretty symptomatic of how things are in our house. Only I can spot the jobs that need done, so apparently only I can do them.

Late30 he can't do the hoovering either.

Sounds annoyingly familiar. I'm sure that both helps and doesn't help - I don't think men should be let off these things, and late30s, not to criticise you, but I could not live with the 'solution' which you've chosen. I'd rather be straightforward about things, any other option is damaging in the short and long term.

I don't think my dh has ever cleaned the bath! In fact I'm not sure it would even enter his head.......

He did however promise 4 weeks ago, when rained off from work (roofer), that he'd change our duvet over. We have one of those two part ones and I wanted the thicker one on. He didn't. I've changed the bed every week since, and I gave in yesterday and put the other duvet on. I now need to persuade him to help me squish the light duvet up to get it in the storage box. I won't hold my breath!

hmmm. He's a SAHD but has one day off childcare every week? and he doesn't clean the bath?

he's a cheeky monkey imo

My dh is SAHD and runs his own business and is a domestic goddess with cooking and cleaning skills to put Cinderella to shame. Everything is always spotless.

Weirdly enough though he never cleans the bath!

As you can imagine I don't mention it or I'd probably get a plug rammed up my arse and quite rightly.

I am a sahm and we agreed I would do 90% of the housework which is fair enough BUT the very few jobs he has to do still don't get done. Only today I have listed everything I do and everything he is supposed to do and asked why he doesn't do them when I have the lions share anyway. Had no answer yet so no advice just sympathy.

DH reckons "men don't see the dirt" that we see....

I am a SAHM. Its not some great big favour he bestowed upon me, its something I agreed to do. I did not, however, agree to be a cleaner and general dogsbody.

I do some cleaning - quite a lot. But not because I'm a SAHM. Because I want to.

I'd probably still want to if I worked.

If anyone (i.e DH) suggested for a minute it was my "job", then I'd get myself a real "job" so fast it would make his head spin, probably matching or surpassing his salary, and he'd be sharing 50% of the housework/cleaner bill, childcare, days off from work when kids are sick, annual leave during school holidays, etc etc.

Which is why he would not say such folly. He's not stupid, after all, that's why I married him.

If a male had posted that his SAH wife gad not the housework most posters would say he was very unreasonable yet seems fine when its the other way.

FWIW, if one partner works and the other stays home, I believe the one at home should do the bulk of the housework as the other is already working hard contributing enough to suppot the full household.

Happymummy op's dh is a sahd and she works full time and he isn't doing the housework properly.

I totally agree that if a man posted and said his wife didn't do the housework there would be an outcry. I have no problem with doing my share. When I was on maternity leave I certainly wasn't the perfect housewife. I do appreciate that my DH does a great job of looking after our daughter, and of course she has priority over dusting. Can you tell I am a bit calmer today?

However a grown man shouldn't need to be told THREE weeks after making a mess of the bath to clean it. We only have the one bathroom and I certainly notice every time I am in there that the bath is dirty. It's not rocket science. While I don't expect him to do all the housework, it would be good if he could do some without being continually prompted.

I have seen several threads here in the past where a SAHM with working partner has complained about him not helping much with housework. The general response has been the same as on this convo. So it's nonsense to suggest that we'd treat a man differently.

No don't get a clearner. If he is a SAHD with child care one day a week, then he has more then enough time to clean the bath, especially as he made a mess of it in the first place.

Tell him to get a job, then get a cleaner.

So no one has cleaned the bath for a month?