to be a little bit sceptic?

[InGodWeTrust]

Hi all,
I have been struggling the past few months with my ds (8 months). Life is just getting harder and harder and my ability to multi task and "get on with life" is becoming slack.
It isn't because I'm lazy it's because I feel overwhelmed and seem to find the simplest of tasks quite daunting.

I spoke to my HV about it and she whipped out the questionnaire and said I scored 3 times more than I did the first time I filled it in, and perhaps I am suffering from PND. While I am open to mental illness, I do perhaps wonder if they slap the label of "depression" on to people rather quickly...perhaps this is me adapting to motherhood? I have to make an appointment to see my GP tomorrow but I am hesitant about possible medication. Is anyone else a PND sufferer. AIBU to just not accept this diagnosis? (Go easy on me, I may just staple things to my head).

I'm sorry you are feeling overwhelmed and I understand where you are coming from.

I had PND with my second son and was offered really good support from HV, doctor and also some friends. Within a couple of days of seeing my HV I had seen the GP, been offered anti-depresents, joined a support group, been given a counsellor and spoken to a homeopath. I was very grateful for all the help but felt like it was all happening very fast and I wasn't sure what was wrong with me. In the end I didn't take the ADs as I wanted to continue breastfeeding. I did take a homeopathic remedy for exhaustion and cut out everything bad from my diet for two weeks. I felt much better.

I would take each day and appointment at a time. You will know if you are doing something you aren't sure of and raise your questions when you need to.

Is it your first DC?

There are different types of pnd, some have it mild - dont require medication / theropy or anything,some others have it a lot more severve and need medication and to talk to someone to help them cope. I suppose hv need something to 'score you against' to see if you could have pnd, speak to gp and see what his advice is and how you feel. He might not even suggest medication to you and even if he does you can ask if there is anything else yoy can do instead, good luck

Yes first one-and last at this rate.

My HV has arranged some "listening" sessions, where she sits and grills me-which is fine. Then she mentioned my GP for tomorrow-she'll check. Then she said about counselling sessions, and while I feel like I'm struggling, I can't explain why I am...and therefore I don't really know what I'm supposed to say in the listening sessions-or to my GP for that matter.

I had PND. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Many of my friends had it too, one very badly.

Tablets do help a lot. I was on them for 9 months then came off them, no problems. I have had a few wobbles but haven't needed to go back on the tablets. Its better to get help now otherwise you could just get worse. It took me quite a while to except it and I hated the person I had become. I had to get DH home from work because I broke DS's rattle by throwing it across the room. I was utterly distraught at having cracked a rattle. It made me realise that I did need help.

But it's not a diagnosis, is it? It's a possibility only. It may well be as you are saying, you becoming accustomed to having children and motherhood. 8 months old is the stage that they start getting into everything and require more 'management', as it were, it can be quite hard. You get little time to yourself, and you feel frazzled, because as you said, you can't keep on top of things, and with lack of sleep catching up with you (8 months worth!!) you just can't deal with everything as well as you used to.

However it may just be that you do have PND. If you do you may or may not need medication to manage, but with support, if you do have it, you will be able to start 'getting on top of things', so to speak.

It is worthwhile talking to the GP. Sure, question them, but also be willing to take some advice, after all, they are just trying to do what is best for you, and at the end of the day, I'm sure that is what you want too.

I've just started swimming, it has made me feel amazing. It gives time away from the dcs, time to exercise and Brucie Bonus releases plenty of endorphins.

It's things like he normally sleeps 5pm-7am until the last 2 nights he has woken up every 3 hours and all I can do is break down and leave my dh to cope alone and it's wrecking me inside that I seemed to have abandoned him to cope with ds on his own. I just feel anxious and every little step just seems huge. A baby waking up in the night for most people is normal, for me it sends me into hysterics. I'm at a loss.

Sometimes we all need a little help, you should continue your journey into getting things manageable again. No shame, just better.

My ds2 used to feed all night long, sometimes every 10 minutes, it drove me insane. Once I had to cut a fringe into my hair because I'd spent half an hour banging my forehead against the door jamb. I'd stand in my front doorway in the dark in my dressing gown imagining running away, convinced they would be better with anyone but me. Night times were hell. I still wondered if I was depressed.

As the months went by, rather than say "fine" I used to say "I've got PND" when I was asked how I was and more than half the mums I spoke to said "You know, I think I might have had that."

The thing is, you need to find ways to feel better whatever those ways are and whatever you call what you are feeling.

It's incredibly difficult to recognise depression in yourself. When DD1 was a few months old, I was rooting through the bathroom cabinet one night to look for overdose possibilities......even then it didn't click.

Does your DH think you are depressed? Mine realised it way before I did.

You may or may not have PND but it does sound like you have a fair degree of anxiety, which may be helped by medication, more support or just talking.

Motherhood places so many demands on us, it's not unreasonable to need a little extra help sometimes, be that practical, emotional, psychological or pharmaceutical. It's not a sign of weakness and it's good that your DH is being involved with your son, you aren't abandoning him, just sharing the burden of parenthood

Sometimes you can't see how far under the grey cloud you are until you come out the other side.

Try not to feel anxious about the word 'depression'. It is just a term used to describe a spectrum of symptoms which can be debilitating.

I agree that you could be feeling the effects of adapting to motherhood but if it goes on for too long or becomes unbearable, it's worth getting help, whatever the label. You don't have to take antidepressants and often just offloading your feelings to someone you don't know can be enough to get you through the other side.

I hope that helps somehow and that you begin to feel better. Take good care.

How are you feeling today IGWT? Did you make your appointment?

Hi, I have a horrid stomach bug as of yesterday evening which my ds has as well. So I haven't been to the doctor (we have a rubbish ring the morning you want an appointment) so I can't even book it for tomorrow. I have lapped up all the advice on here and I w ill most definitely be getting help before it gets any worse. Thanks! x

I had PND, expect to have it again when this baby is born. I did take the medication because I was a wreck and glad I did. If you don't want medication, tell the Doctor that, they wont force you and will probably just ask you to come back in a couple of months time to see how your getting on. Aleast my doctor did this.

Hope you feel about things soon, think everyone feels like you do, to a degee but it doesn't have to mean PND. Motherhood is the toughest job I've ever done, it's a given ou'll have rough days/weeks/whatever.

I wondered the same thing after having my 1st DD. It wasn't that I felt miserable as such, more that evefry little task seemed overwhelming; I felt I was letting DD and DH down all the time; I was highly anxious most of the time which upset my sleeping and eating patterns. I let it go by because I thought I was just adjusting to motherhood.

I had second DD 12 months after DD1 and felt on top of the world for about 3 months- but then I noticed the symptoms coming back. This time I addressed it, went to the docs (took hubby for support) and was put on mild anti-depressants, sleeping tablets and went (eventually) for a course of counselling. The tablets were such a massive help for me at that time; they made getting through each day so much easier.

Please don't freak out about the label PND. If you don't feel you'd benefit from medication then say this to the doc, there are other things that can help. Try the counselling if offered- you say you don't know why you feel this way but counselling will help you to find out. I was so scared before my first session, wondering what to say etc, but we started with how I felt right then and what my life was like-it went really easily from there.

Sorry for the massive essay! Hope you get on okay at the doctors when you go.

I'm sorry you both have a tummy bug, just awful timing. Good luck with getting to the docs soon x

Well I spoke to the Dr. I convinced him that although I'm feeling a bit daunted by life, I don't believe medication is the key. So listening sessions with my health visitor will continue-and I opened up totally to my dh, yesterday, and we organised ourselves-days in the house/days out, my ds having a day out with someone else once a week etc, just until I find my feet. and today, with my ds and dh, was one of the best days I've had since he was born :)

ps: Bug got worse before it got better, but me and ds are fine and dh is immune to catching anything, bastard the lucky thing

It's good that your Dr is in the loop with how you are feeling and great that your DH is so supportive, he sounds lovely.

I'm so glad you had such a wonderful day too, I hope you treasure and remember it as the first of many many more. It sounds like you might have the key to making yourself feel better, well done (not in as patronising way as it sounds of course )

haven't seen the questionare but my dd's 7 months and your story sounds like how i feel, but i don't feel like i have PND- i'm putting it down to the fact that it all seems to have gone a bit bonkers.

when younger she was easier. now she seems to have me run ragged- weaning, rolling, grabbing things, teeth that need cleaning (how tricky's that) - it seems to get harder at about 7- 8 months. i was fine but like you i am overwhelmed. so maybe not pnd, maybe a response to the situation? yanbu.