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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my my son take part in mufti day?

26 replies

Camelscantdance · 13/10/2010 14:27

My sons school is having a Mufti Day for charity.They have to pay the equivelent of 2 Pounds(we are overseas)to wear own clothes,money raised goes to a charity.Thing is I really strongley disagree with supporting this charity.Was thinking of just sending him in uniform as usual,no fuss,"sorry i forgot'".Do you think this is best way to handle it.But he would stand out like sore thumb,rest of school in own clothes.

OP posts:
Lulumaam · 13/10/2010 14:28

send him with own clothes and no donation, no point making him stand out otherwise

Original poster
Camelscantdance · 13/10/2010 14:33

yes,had thought of doing that as well,kinder to him.Less obvious.

OP posts:
lucysmumisgoingtowork · 13/10/2010 14:34

depends what the charity is. If you feel that strongly about it, maybe you could make your views known by emailing the head and pointing out your concerns. If it is that particular charity. I definately wouldnt send him witn his uniform on, he will be mortified!

mosschops30 · 13/10/2010 14:34

I agree, send him without donation if you feel strongly about it

mosschops30 · 13/10/2010 14:35

in his own clothes i meant to say.

MadreInglese · 13/10/2010 14:36

what's the charity?

we had a similar situation when we didn't let DD join in Operation Christmas Child for a couple of years running, DP and I just explained our reasoning to DD and she was ok with it (although that's not quite the same as being the only one in uniform of course!)

lilystyles · 13/10/2010 14:36

Send him in his own clothes with no donation, no point in making him feel left out. I send DD in in uniform once as I forgot, she took one look around at the other kids and burst into tears so I took her home to change Grin

Fennel · 13/10/2010 14:37

Could you offer to donate the money to a different charity, say whatever your school has that's like a PTA/access fund?

pagwatch · 13/10/2010 14:37

don't make your son look a twat because of your opinions. Contact the school and complain aboutthe charity based upon whatever your concerns are. But leave your child out of it until he is old enough to decide whether he agrees with you or not.

My DS is doing a harevst festival for a local charity that have really fucked me off. So he is participating but I am not sending food in and have told the Head why.

GrimmaTheNome · 13/10/2010 14:37

If you disagree with the charity, you ought to make your concerns known - the school may not have thought it through.

As to own clothes or not - IME people genuinely DO forget about mufti day and as far as I could tell it really wasn't a big deal for some of the kids to be in uniform.

Scootergrrrl · 13/10/2010 14:37

I think if you're going to make any kind of stand, you should ask the teacher first if you could make a donation to a different charity, rather than make your son stand out - unless he too disagrees with supporting the charity.
What do you disagree with about the charity? Which one is it?

Needanewname · 13/10/2010 14:37

I would let the school know that you do not approve of the chosen charity but that you will be making a donation to a charity that you do like.

Don't send your son into school in his uniform, he may well be mortified and get a lot of stick for this. Its all very well sticking to your principles, but its not fair to your son that he has to suffer. Explain to him why you won't pay the money,and let him see you give your donation elsewhere.

Which charity is it and why don;t you like them?

oneofsuesylvesterscheerios · 13/10/2010 14:40

if it were me i'd send him in mufti and send a note to say you'll be donating to a charity you support; or of you're on good terms with the school ask that they donate the money to another cause (most schools have emergency funds for kids who can't afford school trips for instance).

ime schools chase those kids who turn up in mufti without paying as it's not seen as very fair that they have the benefit of mufti without contributing as others have, and you don't want to embarrass him.

pagwatch · 13/10/2010 14:41

Yes. I agree with that too. I have sent DS2s food donations in with DDs.

DD had a mufti day on Monday ( which is a stupid day but there you go) and I saw one girl in uniform who was aged about 9 and just sobbing.
I forgot mufti once and DS1 didn't care. But I think it is hard to be the only child in uniform..

FindingMyMojo · 13/10/2010 14:43

yes - give the £2 to an alternative charity. Let your son wear mufti please!!!!

maryz · 13/10/2010 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Camelscantdance · 13/10/2010 14:57

ok,he goes in Mufti.Dont want to name the charity as opens a whole other can of worms and may offend.Think will just pretend forgot,if anything vsaid will offer to give to other cause,if not let son put money in charity box somewhere.

OP posts:
sugarplumfairy · 13/10/2010 15:09

One jeans for genes day years ago I sent in £10 instead of £1, as at the time it was a charity I was keen to support.
After the event the head sent out a letter saying he was going to donate the money raised to another charity! I was really cross, and told him that the money should have gone where it was supposed to. So I know what you mean about being made to support certain charities.

Serendippy · 13/10/2010 15:12

Agree don't use your son to show your siapproval of the charity. Contact the head and explain that you do not support the cause but you do not want your son to be left out and that you will make a donation to another cause. That way, nothing more will be said about it and your son will not be nagged for his donation.

SenSationsMad · 13/10/2010 15:36

what's Mufti?[dumb emotion]

MadreInglese · 13/10/2010 15:38

Shock sugarplumfairy that's not on!

MadreInglese · 13/10/2010 15:39

a peculiar name for a non-uniform day

duchesse · 13/10/2010 15:40

Agree with Lulumaam. It can be tough for children to have to embody their parents' views at school.

mumeeee · 13/10/2010 15:45

I agree with other posters send him in his own clothes,and ask if your money can go to anpther charity.

MassiveKnob · 13/10/2010 15:48

send him in his own clothes, with a note that you are making your own donation to a different charity, and do that?