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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to want to cook the meal I had planned?

21 replies

notasize10yetbutoneday · 13/10/2010 08:51

Background: We are friends with another couple and as our DH's play sport together every couple of weeks in our home town, the couple often stay for a meal afterwards. The wife of the couple is a very fussy eater, liking only 4 main dishes: lasagne, pasta carbonara, plain chicken breast, and pizza.

I have in the main pandered to this by cooking one of her favourites but doing other salads/side dishes for the rest of us.

Anyway, I had forgotten that it was this week they were coming and so had bought pork shoulder for DH and I (but a big piece so will do them as well). I really fancied this as does DH. Friend text to remind me about the sport and asked what I would be making for dinner and I replied that I had a joint of pork. She then replied 'hmm not keen on that chick' .

AIBU to still cook the shoulder of pork given that a) she is an adult and I am sick of making 4 dishes on rotation and b) I don't have the room in the freezer for this joint of pork and c) Dh and I really fancied it and I know her DH would eat it/enjoy it as well d) obviously I would do some side dishes/starter/dessert as well which she would like?

Your thoughts please

OP posts:

Serendippy · 13/10/2010 08:55

YANBU, however when I invite people to dinner I always try and cook something I know they will like. I would be tempted to do her an individual lasagne and have the pork for the rest of you. This would drive me mad!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 13/10/2010 08:55

NBU IMO. If she is that unadventurous with her eating it will do her good to stretch herself. alternativley, give her a slice of bread and marge.
Can i come to yours for dinner please?

oranges · 13/10/2010 08:57

yabu. maybe make som pasta and a stir in sauce for her if you really feel like it? She sounds a bit rude and ridicukous

BadgerAdrift · 13/10/2010 08:57

A mini-pizza should sort this out no problem. I'm sure you can still get them.

oranges · 13/10/2010 08:59

lol. you can get mini pizzas. I get one for my four year old when we have people over and I don't feel like coaxing him to eat the main meal.

SeriousWispaHabit · 13/10/2010 08:59

Agree it is annoying when people are fussy and don't just eat normal food, or do what all polite people do and smile graciously and do their best to eat what someone else has kindly cooked for them. However, is it worth making an issue of? Can you just chuck a plain chicken breast in the oven as well? Then do potatoes and veg for everyone. Not really any extra effort.

Hulababy · 13/10/2010 09:00

It's difficult as, as a host, I like to serve food I know or think my guests will enjoy.

But to have such limited choices and so regularly catering for them makes that very tough.

Could you do the pork for the rest of you, and have an alternative for the wife? I often have an alternative dish anyway as I don't eat meat, so this would be fine for me. I would just cook her a chicken breast as that tends to go with the same kind of side dishes as pork would anyway.

Then you can just text her back to say "No worries, will throw some chicken in the oven for you."

iLikeDots · 13/10/2010 09:00

What is she, 5 years old? I would cook dishes that she eats if it was something to do with religion/food allegies/veggy, as I think that is completely reasonable. But catering the meal to her 'tastes' is unreasonable and not fair on you and the other guests. Do you think she puts much thought towards what other's at the meal would like/prefer ? Cook your pork and make a few side dishes she will eat.

Original poster

notasize10yetbutoneday · 13/10/2010 09:02

Thanks everyone, thats really helpful. Yes its no bother at all to sling a chicken breast in the oven so thats what I'll do, thanks.

It is very, very frustrating indeed as I love cooking and pushing the boat out for guests but what can you do with such limited tastes?!

Kreecher you are most welcome- see you Sunday,7pm?

OP posts:

FloraFinching · 13/10/2010 09:11

I was coming on to suggest slinging a chicken breast in as well.

'Tis a PITA, but is what I always have to do for DH's grandma, who will only eat chicken, salmon, and meat pie .

TheGrumpalo · 13/10/2010 09:17

She seems very rude! If I was going to someones house I'd eat what I was given.
Chicken breats sounds they way to go but it would annoy me!

Shelly32 · 13/10/2010 17:23

I'd like to agree with the majority of the posters but...you forgot the date...I'd make her something extra. Send the pork to me..Yum!!

colditz · 13/10/2010 17:27

Buy one chicken breast and grill it. Serve it with whatever you are serving the pork with.

olderandwider · 13/10/2010 17:37

A portion of ready roasted chicken from the s/market would definitely give her the message that she is putting you to extra trouble.

ratspeaker · 13/10/2010 17:45

Just being nosey but what does she cook when you go to hers?

Ragwort · 13/10/2010 17:50

I agree with ratspeaker - do you eat at her house on such a regular basis? I think providing a meal for the couple every fortnight is very generous of you. Does she ever offer to bring anything?

arses · 13/10/2010 20:02

I have laboured under the misapprehension that I am a "fussy eater" for most of my adult years. I had no idea that anyone would expect this! Not keen chick! I'd be keenly booting her up the ass mentally..

but I would probably put a mini-pizza or some chicken in the oven.

Honestly! I don't like tomato-based stuff like lasagne and shepherd's pie but when I go to someone's house, I take a portion and eat what I can, or eat the side accompaniments. This is so unreasonable of her!

Original poster

notasize10yetbutoneday · 14/10/2010 09:29

Thanks all, good to know Im not being unreasonable here! Ragwort and Ratspeaker this has been a bit of a bone in the contention in the past- she doesn't 'do' cooking so on the rare occasions we do go to theirs either her DH will cook something or its M&S type stuff which is nice but it just doesn't happen that often as they come to us all the time!

They do bring wine etc and she is very generous in other ways with presents etc, its just the lack of willingness to eat more than 4 meals which gets my goat!

OP posts:

nikki1978 · 14/10/2010 09:37

Maybe she has actual food issues? My DH is like this which is why I steer away from dinner parties and the like (weddings are a nightmare!). He will honestly only eat pizza (and even that is only in a particular way) or chicken with chips or yorkshire puddings.

Please do love to have a go at him and say why are you so fussy, come on just try it etc but to be fair they never see how he gags, retches and looks almost terrified when something he doesn't eat gets into his mouth

He has a proper eating disorder due to spending a large part of his childhood in hospital (honestly it is quite common for kids like him) and I often wish people would be more understanding. Anorexia and bulimia etc are widely known and understood but selective eating is actually a disorder too.

He refuses to get help saying he is happy as he is but I am pretty sure he is too scared to deal with it.

Anyway I digress, I would just do her an extra portion of chicken since it is not too much bother.

nikki1978 · 14/10/2010 09:38

People not please in second paragraph

Original poster

notasize10yetbutoneday · 14/10/2010 09:39

Nikki I agree some people obviously do have genuine food issues but by her own admission she is just fussy, she is quite blasé about it.

OP posts:

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