Why do people have a 2nd or 3rd child?

[kingazanzi]

...with someone who was a nightmare of a co-parent after having the first child?? The abortion post got me thinking about this.

My question is not gender specific so I am wondering why guys do this as well. Let's say you have a child with someone who :
Doesn't pay child support
Demands too much child support
Doesn't properly care for the child
Uses the child as a pawn in arguments
Has given you STD(s)
Cannot be trusted
Is abusive, etc.

Why on God's green earth do people decide to have a 2nd or 3rd child with these people? I know someone who did this and was perplexed. Do people do this because they believe people can/will change?

They don't decide. It happens due to the levels of chaos in their lives.

Haven't seen the abortion post, but my friend was in a similar situation to what you've desribed. She went on to have three more children because her cunt of a husband forced her to. She was completely controlled by him which was awful to see. Nobody shed a tear when he died.

I don't know.
My sister was dating a total twat when she got pregnant. She had their child> he continued to be a complete cock - abusive, lazy, thick as a big pile of pig shit. She married him. They had another baby. He left her. Lied about his income, ignored the children, gave her nothing...

She has continued on in exactlythe same pattern, endlessly chosing shitty men, making awful choices and blaming it on bad luck. She is bitter about everything and I see no way out of her situation because she never accepts responsibility and never learns. Her children are tainted by it although one child has worked hard and is trying to make a life for himself but he gets sucked in to her terrible choices and endless dramas.

I think it is mostly about self esteem. For some reasons she sees herself , and always has, as not requiring anything of the people she chooses to have in her life.
She thinks so negativelythat the one great guy she met , she dumped eventually afetr he had spent years provingthat he would tolerate her dramas and her efforts to push him away. I think she found him contemptible because he actually liked her and stuck by her.
She wrapped that up in " I just like bad boys" shit.

It is sad. But after 30 years I know that nothing i do makes any difference.

I suppose you just can't account for circumstances - i.e: accidental pregnancy, misjudgement due to irrational thoughts (and previously mentioned chaos) and ideas.
Each situation is unique.
And a lot of folk can't sit back and look at it as objectively as that unfortunately, especially if that is their situation. Often it takes someone to point it out and by then it's too late. A lot of denial also goes on.

What I find it hard to understand are the people who whinge on about their OHs and the rows and then find themselves pregnant.

If they're arguing all the time then how come they are shagging?

Or is that all part of the drama?

I feel positively boring for not wanting this drama in my life.