to think my husband should be prepared to go without sex for nine months?

[lennon80]

Hi ladies,

I am currently 33 weeks pregnant and I have only had sex twice during my pregnancy as for the first half I was suffering from nausea and sickness and the second half SPD and really bad contractions. I have not been up for doing any other foreplay as he hasnt suggested it or even asked for it. (We are very close in terms of affection and cuddle each other ALL the time).

I think it is fine for him to not have sex for this amount of time but I read on other threads women saying things like 'a month without sex is hard on a marriage' etc and feel like they should be grateful that their hubands are not cheating.

I am I alone in thinking that during pregnancy he should not bat an eyelid at being denied since I am going through all of this for him too and its been a difficult pregnancy.

It doesn't matter what any of us think, it matters more what you and your DH thinks.

It sounds like you are having a tough pregnancy so it's not surprising you aren't feeling in the mood. Have a chat with your DH, see how he is feeling.

I was happy to have sex all the time during pregnancy, as was DH. My best friend and her DH barely touched for the whole 9 months. Dh and I got going again fairly soon afterwards; it took my friend and her DH a bit longer. Both of us still have good, strong marriages so clearly not the only factor affecting things.

We certainly had less sex when I was pregnant as I had SPD and wall-to-wall sickness. We did still manage it sometimes because I still wanted to do it despite feeling rubbish. I can't think of much worse than being coerced into sex when you're tired, bloated, achy and sick- YANBU.

Thanks ladies..from reading other posts I was starting to wonder if we were slipping back into the dark ages with Husbands feeling entitled to conjugal rights and worryingly women feeling the need to comply and 'think of England'.

Stewiegriffinsmon You are totally right a man who does that is a shit husband plain and simple!

YANBU I haven't had sex with my husband since falling pregnant and I'm due in 3.5weeks I can't be bothered, I know it sounds harsh but I have two toddlers and by the time they go to bed I'm shattered and would much prefer a bath and a good book... I'm only 22yrs old

I'm due next week and we have had zero sex!! I have provided, ahem, some relief, but no sex and tbh we just have a laugh about it. I had a mc before this pg, which made me paranoid, and then I just didn't feel like it. He completely understands this, and if he didn't, I would be really annoyed. But then, I wouldn't be married to him in the first place if he was likely to kick up a fuss about something like that.

I'm 26 weeks...and DP and I have only had sex twice since I fell pg, the last time was (checks calendar...) 9 weeks ago . But I am still suffering from Hyperemesis, and SPD and am also anaemic, so would fall asleep halfway through extremely tired. But DP expected this, I go right off it when pg, but once baby is 4-6 weeks old, I get the voracious appetite of a nympho and constantly molesting him...so he knows it's only short term, and it gets more than made up for once baby is here. It's the 4th time now, and if he'd cheated on me for lack of it at home I'd chop his balls off he'd be bloody single!

Since I got pregnant last October, had terrible morning sickness so no sex at all! I think we had sex once in the whole nine months but can't remember

Since baby has been born, (she is 3 months old now), as we also have a 3 year old...the days are long, I've been feeling uber stressed, really tired, multitasking constantly, I think we've had sex once....(terribly I can't remember if it's more than this, it's all a blur)

DP would like more but doesn't make a big deal. I think it's a lot to think about about especially when breastfeeding also. I feel like I'm fulfilling the needs of my children constantly and at the moment poor DP takes a back seat

This is my second pregnancy and my libido has tanked both times. Last time was worse than this one and DH probably got laid less than a handful of times through the 9mths. This time around, I've found I'm a bit more up for it since hitting the third trimester - meaning once every fortnight or thereabouts.

DH has a really high sex drive and could happily go at it every day whereas I've never been able to match him. Yes, the total lack of nookie does frustrate him and I think we had a minor row about it once when he got a bit snippy at me but he knows it's part of the deal when I'm having babies and he gets over it.

Far as I'm concerned, if he doesn't like how I am when I'm pregnant, he knows where the vasectomies are!

It all depends on circumstances though doesn't it. Some people (men and women) withold sex as for various reasons, like 'punishment', in relationships. So in those terms a month is a long time just to not bother. In your terms it's due to feeling unwell. Each relationship is different as are each set of circumstances.

I don't think it is U at all

during both my pg's (and around all the other false starts/problems/treatments etc) we didn't have any sex at all

I know he felt physically frustrated at times, but there are other ways to ease it that don't involve

1. hassling a woman who is not up for/physically capable of having sex

2. considering finding it elsewhere

Any man who cannot understand that needs a metaphorical kick in the knackers.