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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have had a SHIT holiday and be glad to be back in england?

22 replies

superv1xen · 12/10/2010 14:42

went abroad with dp for a week and got back sunday night

we have never been away together just as a couple as when we got together i had a small baby and then our DD was born last year so it just hasnt been possible. i was really looking forward to it. in fact, the longest we have been together on our own is probably only a couple of days.

but tbh i had a pretty disappointing time, i think my expectations were just too high, me and dp didnt even get on that well while we were away, the hotel room was shit and had single beds (not exactly condusive to comfy shagging, or even cuddling :( ) i got bitten to fuck by some sort of insect and ended up with legs covered in horrible itchy bites, the locals were pretty unfriendly, the food was pretty horrible and sloppy and all the same, the drink not great and really expensive, nothing much to do and our resort was in the middle of nowhere so was either an hour walk to the crappy beachfront or an unreliable bus service to the nearest town which took nearly an hour. oh and the whole resort was just full of really old decrepit people, that sounds awful but we were the youngest there by decades and it was a bit depressing tbh. it was also weirder than i thought being away from the kids, i missed them dreadfully and felt a bit guilty.

i dunno, perhaps i am just miserable and ungrateful, i guess i expected more from our first ever holiday together and am now questioning whether we are even right for eachother as surely we should still have had a great time even if it was shit just coz we were together on our own with no kids :( i am so depressed today.

OP posts:

sharbie · 12/10/2010 14:46

welcome home

MmeBodyInTheBasement · 12/10/2010 14:46

It was just not a good hotel choice, that is all. Did you know that it was in the middle of nowhere? Did you book through a travel agent?

ellasmum1 · 12/10/2010 14:49

aw bless,i feel your pain.i went to southern france in june for a week,cost around £2k and dh and i both had a crap time.
its sounds awful.i'm not surprised you missed the kids alot,i went away for a week when dd was 2 without her and missed her really bad after first 3 days or so. long weekend prob better when they are v young.maybe a city break-lots more to see and do as a couple and when you are busy you don't dwell on the kids.and make sure you have a lovely romantic room,or at least a proper double bed next time. how long have you been together?

TootAndCommon · 12/10/2010 14:55

OMG, how awful!
Where did you go?

jesuswhatnext · 12/10/2010 15:16

welcome home from spain!

Original poster

superv1xen · 12/10/2010 15:23

yeah we have had a few weekends away together at spa's etc and had a far better time than last week :(

we have been together 3 yrs, and like you ellasmum it cost us about that as well, just seems such a waste of money as we dont know when we will next afford to go.

jesuswhat - it wasnt spain :o i actually went a few years ago with my ex and loved it, wish we'd have gone there instead :(

OP posts:

ILovePonyo · 12/10/2010 15:34

Poor you! Hope you're ok. I wouldn't worry about questioning whether you should be together, a shitty holiday can sometimes be a bit difficult to enjoy no metter how in love you are.

FWIW dp and I had a holiday in August and I couldn't bloody wait to get home from the first day. Was pg, hot, tired and felt ungrateful and like a right moaner but I couldn't help it!

See how you get on now you're back home for a while. I was so pleased to be home I'm sure we got on loads better after the holiday!

MackerelOfFact · 12/10/2010 15:42

I think it's easy to pin all your hopes of enjoyment and rejuvenation on a holiday, but when you get there you realise you're still carrying most of the same baggage (figuratively speaking... and I guess literally too) as when you left. Except now your friends and family aren't anywhere near, the facilities are often worse than at home, the weather isn't guaranteed, and annoying niggly things that you'd not really considered (like the mosquito bites!) end up feeling like the whole thing is conspiring against you.

Still, it's a lovely feeling to get home and feel really glad to be back.

(As an aside, was it you who had all the drama with the passports being left in a taxi or was that someone else?)

MackerelOfFact · 12/10/2010 15:45

Oh no, I don't think you were the passport poster. I just remember your thread from before you left, that's why it sounded familiar.

girlywhirly · 12/10/2010 16:16

I think your expectations were a bit too high. You have both made your DC your world since you met, and have never been through a proper getting to know each other phase of your relationship. I guess you were both missing the DC and hadn't had to make conversation on an adult level with each other that wasn't about them.

I'm guessing that you didn't check out your resort and hotel on trip advisor or holidays uncovered, to read reviews from holidaymakers. There are often reviews of restaurants and bars as well. You can pick up useful tips on the locality and things to do. I have to say that this time of year is when a lot of retired people go abroad, because it's not as hot and they aren't tied to school hols.

Fwiw, DH and I had a pair of single beds on our honeymoon! We just laughed and didn't think it worth making a fuss over. You just find ways to make love that don't involve a bed. When we first met, we had a weekend away which went well, and then a week abroad to see how well we got on, before we ever moved in together. I think it helps if you talk about what you want to do on your holiday, i.e. sightseeing, sports, lazing by pool or on beach, reading. We tend to do a mix of both, (except sports) gives you something to talk about. I imagine it is a let down if you expect evening entertainment and there is none.

We had a bad week in Corfu in May, hotel was fine, but it rained heavily for half the week and was cold. I got a 24hr sickness bug. Satellite TV showed it was hot in UK!!!!! Came home feeling that we hadn't had a proper holiday, so I know how you feel about that.

Maybe chalk this up to experience and talk through with each other what you felt went so wrong and how you can remedy it in the future.

rookiemater · 12/10/2010 16:20

A week is a long time to go away if it is your first time without DCs. DH and I now plan to go somewhere less than 2 hours drive ( have been away from DS 3 nights in a row max) and focus on the stuff we enjoy apart from the obvious ( if not going abroad can justify a nice hotel room) this includes just reading the paper in peace, sleeping in and enjoying leisurely meals.

I don't think a rubbish holiday is a reason to doubt your relationship, if I was in a dump being bitten by bed bugs in a horrible bedroom in a resort full of old folk miles from anywhere I doubt I'd be too chipper about it anyway.

Original poster

superv1xen · 13/10/2010 09:37

thanks for the messages

i guess i am just sad that i had so much hope for it and had been looking forward to it for so long and it just wasnt what i expected..i went to see my best friend yesterday and she was asking me about it and i was finding myself desperately racking my brains to find some positives to tell her

but i am glad most of you dont think i am being U or ungrateful :)

OP posts:

BalloonSlayer · 13/10/2010 10:06

D'you know what I think I have only been on a few booked-through-a-brochure type holidays in my life that have been any good*.

I think that's why I prefer to stay at home these days.

Welcome back!

Disclaimer - I don't go off trekking in the Andes by myself, thus spurning brochure holidays . . . I mean I am lucky enough to have a sister in Sydney, so those holidays are always good.

LindyHemming · 13/10/2010 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

superv1xen · 13/10/2010 12:24

oooh lucky you balloonslayer having a sister in aus :)

euphemia that sounds lovely, me and dp have done similar things a few times and had a much better time tbh!

oh and to add insult to injury - last night i came out in a horrible allergic rash that possibly could be linked to me having been bitten while on holiday - i am sat here covered in calamine lotion and have been prescribed antihistamines :(

OP posts:

MassiveKnob · 13/10/2010 12:27

where did you go?

Original poster

superv1xen · 13/10/2010 12:36

to sicily, near taormina

OP posts:

MassiveKnob · 13/10/2010 12:44

oh I always fancied sicily. what a shame you had a bit of a let down. Doubt it was cheap either.

Original poster

superv1xen · 13/10/2010 12:50

yeah me too. went to mainland italy (lido di jesolo) when i was 17 on a school trip and adored it, it was fab, dp always fancied italy but had never been, so we did some research (obvs not enough :( ) and decided on sicily. but yeah, i'd avoid it if i were u mk :o

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 13/10/2010 13:03

Toss, me and DH and DD were thinking about going to Sicily next week.

fedupwithdeployment · 13/10/2010 13:20

shame. We went to Taormina on honeymoon and had a lovely time. Pushed together beds though!

Original poster

superv1xen · 13/10/2010 16:09

aha perhaps single beds are a sicily thing then, not just our hotel :o

we did push ours together too but they kept sliding apart whenever we shagged cuddled

OP posts:

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