Background to story - DS has been going to CM's for about two months now. He's happy there and, of course, I'm happy that he's happy.
Before he started his first full month in September, he had some settling-in days in August. Prior to this, I had signed the contract with the CM to pay her monthly in arrears. Just before September, the CM asked whether it would be possible to be paid for September at the end of August due to bills leaving her account whilst she was on holiday. In a gesture which I saw as a courtesy (given the different terms in the contract), we paid her in advance for September.
DH and I have been trying to sort out Childcare Vouchers with which to pay part of the CM's fees but his work accountant (it's a small company) has been rather slow in setting things up. For this reason, when we paid CM for September, it was full fees by direct debit and none with CCV and I promised to get DH to look into it so we could use the vouchers for the October fees.
Fast forward to last week. DH's work accountant has been off work for a while and the CCV aren't fully sorted. CM sent me a text last week and, again, asked in passing the following day how long it would take for the CCV to reach her account. I explained that DH had yet to speak to his work accountant but that if the CCV issue wasn't sorted by this week, then we would pay her full fees by direct debit for this month.( As far as I was aware, we were supposed to pay her at the end of the month.)
Coming back from work today and have seen that the CM has written in DM's record book under Childminder Comments/Suggestions (and I quote),
"Sorry to have to ask again but did you sort out childcare vouchers??? Got lots of bills to pay at end off [sic] week"
Now, I know part of the reason it made my blood boil is
- We have an au pair/family member drop off and pick up DS from CM's everyday. I would never presume to discuss any finances with her (other than what concerns her), and I feel that the CM writing it in DS's record book as she did was completely inappropriate.
- In the contract, I clearly stated that we would pay CM monthly in arrears, and no objection was made at the time by CM.
- The early payment to her for September was a courtesy and I'm rather pissed off that she is hounding us thus far for fees which are not yet due, especially given that we have never been late with payment before (the same CM used to have DS for a few hours a day last year for a few months).
- I got home at 9pm after a long work/study day and this was just the icing on what has generally been a crappy day (of which CM isn't aware, I know, but it doesn't stop me from still feeling pissed off)
I almost sent her a rather curt text explaining the contract, the earlier courtesy, and the fact that I reasonably do not expect to see anything to do with finances detailed in a record book for my son which is accessible to other people(yes, I sound totally precious right now, but I really don't care!) but (hopefully, wisely!) decided against it. Instead, I will take time out from work so I can drop DS off at CM's tomorrow, and am now thinking of the best way to express the issues above without sounding like a complete and total bitch. I would be willing to vary the contract so that we pay in advance (as opposed to in arrears) but want to make sure that she realises that I was not happy with the way she has gone about things.
Don't get me wrong - I like my CM (she has been our neighbour for a number of years) and am happy with the way she takes care of my DS. However, I do not appreciate being hounded for fees when I've clearly assured her that she will be fully paid for the month in accordance with a contract we both signed, CCV notwithstanding, and she has never had any previous reason to doubt me.
So, what would you say/how would you go about it, keeping in mind that this is someone who takes care of my DS in a way which, to date, I find hard to fault?