to think that my feeling like im failing comes from this "you can have it all" bullshit?

[NordicPrincess]

I feel like i should be doing more with my life, but i just dont know realistically with the amount of hours in the day how on earth i can fit it all in without physically colapsing?

Manybe i should concentrate on doing a few things well rather than everything badly, even why i cust down im still failing-am i lazy or missing something?

I wonder if this need to do it all comes from i can have it all crap i was fed growing up (im an 80s early 90s child)

any opinions-do you feel the same?

I used to feel like that, until a close family member died at quite an early age.
It really brought it home that, if I died at the same age, I would have spent my life racing round like a blue arsed fly, but acheiving nothing.

DH and I wrote a list of the things that were truly important to us, and it turned out that material things were way down that list. It put everything in perspective, and we are now a much happier family.

Slow down, think about what's important to you, and concentrate on that. Nothing else matters. :)

I feel the similar, that I should be doing 'more' with my life but I don't know what or how I would fit everything in!

It's kind of sad because while I'm getting upset that there should be 'more' to life than this, and beating myself up about how badly I do everything, I'm missing out on enjoying the small things with my kids and hubby. That's why I've decided to just try and relax about it all now, and take pleasure in the small things. I don't have to be perfect!

After all, on my death bed I don't think I'll be regretting that I didn't clean the oven often enough, but I would regret it if I'd not spent enough time with my family.

YANBU and I'm sure you're not lazy either, it's just hard work juggling all the things we have to do.

OVEN PRIDE :o

?

I feel like that but also know that I do the fly around burning both ends and the middle of the candle and then burnout cycle. IMO and IME it is far better to pace youself and prioritise what it is that you feel is most essential.

In the ideal world i would move out of my housing situation. realistically, although i could i am likely to be over strecthed and for now it is better to be put. I am doing as faverolles suggested atm and really examining my priorities. There are some things that just have to be done but then it is a case of what is most important to me. Dc is high on my priority list as he has suffered in my attempt last year to better myself career wise so that we could potentially have more. Short term and long term affects.

My Plan -
essentials to life (heath/safety)
shared experiences with dc
job - to enable the essentials now and in the future (ie so can save for a pension)

I am clearing out lot of stuff. I dont need a lot of it. I have it because i wanted it. if I had to survive without it,i would, alot of it is just there. Isnt used. SO i am getting shot and decluttering through ebay etc. completely downsizing. It is strangely satisfying. I am also using my mobile less. ie it only comes with me when essential. It is very liberating. No all i need to do is cut down my mning time.

its the dilema isn't it - do you make the most of your tallents and push yourself; or take a more laid back approach. I procrastinate between the 2 and either feel unfulfilled or guilty or stressed! shall watch this thread with interest

Sorry, I have a habit of rushing into threads where anyone mentions cleaning the oven and shouting OVEN PRIDE as it is brilliant :o
But you're right OP, I am trying very hard to work on building family memories rather than getting through the drudgery. It is hard though.

i mentioned oven cleaning?

I manage by having extraordinarily low expectations of myself.

I'll write the Classic British Novel when the kids are grown-up.

If I'm spared.

StealthPolarBear- I thought you were just unusually proud of your clean oven seriously it would take a miracle to get my oven clean though, it's the bane of my life as far as housework goes!

A friend's husband (together since late teens) had a massive stroke on the first day oh retirement this summer. Hideous all round, he's still in hospital now 4 months on. Made DH and I even more determined than ever to not stress the small stuff and not to work too hard...life is too short!

PhishFoodAddiction mentioned oven-cleaning.

YANBU.

I reckon TV has a lot to do with it. All those shows about having the perfect home etc. I know at face value it's just boring entertainment but when you think about it, it's saying "look, you need this to make you happy". As well as making people miserable I strongly suspect it has a big influence on personal debt.

Having it all is Bollocks. I've got lovely kids, but piss all money. I've got a husband who loves me but no career. How can I stop beating myself up about wasting my potential and just enjoy life?????

I'm the same Hawkmoth. If you find the answer, please share.

exactly hawk and found - i feel the same.

ms c - what are your tricks? how do you stop stressing the small stuff?

You can't have it all no one can. Simples