To expect...

[eToTheiPi]

Dh, after being left for 5 days on his own to have emptied the dishwasher or at least put a load of washing on?

I'm 39 weeks pg and took my dd, 3 and a half down to my parents on Tuesday, over 2 hours away for some rest and tlc. I ended up in hospital on Tues night till Wed afternoon but that's a different story!!!

I had cleared washing and all that was in the dishwasher was our breakfast things. We have come home this afternoon to a dishwasher not emptied and plates in the sink filled with water, yuck. Glasses and mugs everywhere! I'm not the tidiest, but I try and keep on top of the kitchen.

He's had to pop out, on an errand for me I have to say but he's said, "Can you please make sure I've got clothes for work in the morning?" So I've now had to find his work wear and put it in the wash, will have to dry - he's not getting it ironed!!!

Just wanted to vent, as he does his share but none of day to day stuff i.e. cuts grass, empties bins, washes cars - will be having a conversation when he's on paternity leave, not now when I may be a bit highly strung!

Anyone with similar? How did you approach without huff's or world war starting?

Why are you washing his clothes? Jesus, I mean what's the point of moaning when you do his laundry at 39 weeks pregnant??

my DH is the same, puts a coffee cup in the sink rather than in the dishwasher which is next to the sink, never puts a load of washing on...i do say things every now and then but have finally cracked and got a cleaner who i have had for two weeks now and although we can't really afford it, it does make me feel less p!ssed off about doing all the cleaning myself.

rainbowinthesky , like I said, I just needed to vent, he's out on an errand for me otherwise I would have told him to do it himself. I am hoping to get a cleaner soon but am having to budget.

I would have told my DH to sort out his own clothes if i came home to a pigsty, having been away (and in hospital). He's had nothing else to do, as you took your child with you.
It doesn't matter that he's on an errand for you at this precise moment, he's not been on that errand since you went away, so no excuse.

He hasn't done it because he knows he can get you to do it and like a total mug, you have.
Sorry, but this situation is of your own making to a large extent.

Sounds like a lazy man who has you right where he wants you!

An errand for you at 39 weeks!. No he was doing what he should be doing at 39 weeks by taking the load off you. Like was said before don't bloody moan if you let him use you as a mat. I know everyone has the right to vent and this is mine :) Look, talk and act like a doormat then expect to get treated like one. If my DP had asked me at 39 weeks to get his work clothes organised I would have gone for his throat.

Wow, moan over, I didn't realisthat AIBU was obvously the wrong place to post, harsh comments but if I'm a doormat then so be it.. I usually pick my fights and have changed the amount he does a lot which I've not made clear, just wanted advice on getting him to see the day to day stuff needs doing day to day. He has been working 14 hours a day whilst I was away to try and get his promotion to cover me perhaps being able to go part time after baby arrives.

I will take on board what you have said and will post elsewhere if at all in future.

OP, it really doesn't take that long to put a load of washing on and start the dishwasher. You know that, or you wouldn't have been posting here at all.

You wanted advice on how to get him to step up and that's what you got. I think you might be right not to ask if you don't want to hear the answer.

It's not that I don't want to think of myself as a doormat, I think with regards to this I am. I just wondered if there was anyone out there without perfect husbands with advice? I did think that marriage was worth working at and this wasn't worth splitting up over.

I would just have asked..darling do you think its fair that ive..been in hosiptal..etc etc...could you have not done your own washing? Smile, breath and wait for answer, what can he say?

I don't think you should leave him. I just think you should stop letting him get away with this. No one is perfect, I'll be the first to admit that both I and my DH have our faults, but if you are coming home from hospital, at 39 wks pg and being faced with laundry and unwashed dishes, then that is not good. Best for you to stop being so accommodating cos you will soon have a new baby and could do without your DH behaving like a 3rd child.

yawn