My story, long post, sorry,... DS (DC1) born in hospital by EMCS. With DD (DC2) I did not want a repeat of hospital experience and really wanted a homebirth. I cannot tell you how nervous DH was, so VERY nervous, about homebirth as perceived potential problems with VBAC etc. BUT he supported my decision mainly because of the mental state I was in after having DC1. Don?t underestimate how formative giving birth is for a woman. Woman, myself included, feels birth defines them, and I think this is why so many women experience PND or some form of post-birth trauma. After having DS I beat myself up for months over his birth and what I could have done differently. I felt like a failed woman and a bad mother. My advice FWIW is don?t have reason to look back on your birth experience and say ?if only?. It will haunt you forever, especially if things do go differently to planned. If you end up at the hospital anyway, you will at least know that you gave yourself every chance to birth naturally. That was how I felt. As it was, being able to relax in the pool, I truly believe, meant I was able to birth naturally and relaxed. Don?t get me wrong, it hurt like giving birth does, but it was calm and I was in control!
In terms of cost, we actually paid for an IM as I wanted to avoid hospital that badly and the NHS were too negative about VBAC in the first place, let alone VBAC at home. Throw in the pool and they were apoplectic. The IM was a staggering amount of money, and we are in debt for it now, however DH says that it was still the best money we have EVER spent, for the calm I felt during pregnancy, labour and birth and was in a better emotional state after the birth.
In terms of mess and dirty water, yes the water gets messy, but not a drop spilt out of our pool, and it pumped away so easily. Please reassure him his expensive hardwood flooring is safe.
It?s not about whether the pool will be a magical labour aid because yes your DH is right, you might not like it and yes you might end up in hospital anyway, BUT IMO it boils down to the value if your emotional state; now (as you plan this), in labour/birth and after you have the baby and if that is worth the financial cost of the pool, and possibly, in the absolute worst case scenario, replacing the expensive hardwood flooring.
expensive waste of money. He doesn't think it will be the magical labour aid I think it will be. The real sticking point is that the only place for the pool is in the basement, which he spent 9 months renovating. He spent every spare moment down there and it is lovely with expensive hardwood flooring. He is really worried that water ("dirty placenta water") will splash all over the floor, get underneath, cause hellish mold and damp and I will end up at the hospital anyway.
So, he has deferred to me about everything else and feels that he deserves a vote but I feel that since I am the one that is actually giving birth, I get the birth I want to plan.