to think that there may never be a perfect time to try for a baby?

[fartblossom]

Me and DH have just decided to try for DC3. Its something that we've been conisdering for the past year or so, but have not really been trying properly until now.

However, DH is carer to our DS who has autism (he's 5) and SAHD to both DS and DD (she's 2). I currently go to work. This situation works well for us.

However, in 2008 I was made redundant from a good job where I had a good career. Since then I have been in and out of temp jobs and have not found the perfect job - until now. I am totally happy with work and actually get quite excited with how much I actually like work. The only problem is, its temporary through christmas. I would really like a permanent contract at the end of it and have been told that every year they do take on some permanent people from the xmas temps.

Now if I did get PG before xmas I dont know if I could accept a permanent job, I wouldnt feel right. I would leave, have the baby then go back next xmas and hope I could be made permanent then. Or I could hold off TTC until after xmas when I know if I will be permanent or not. If I wasnt pg I could maybe accept a permanent position then I would have been at work for 3/4 months before getting PG which isnt so bad. Thats even if I get offered a permanent place. Im getting the feeling that everyone is pleased with me and I do get on well with those who count (ie managers and HR).

The thing is Im now 31 (32 in Jan). My sister was born with Downs when my mum was 34. When I was PG with DS the midwives couldnt decide if I was more likely to have a downs baby than someone else my age at the time. Anyway before any tests were taken they gave me the same chance as a 30 year old (I was 25 at the time of pregnancy). Im a bit scared that my risk factor would be high earlier than the average woman.

I really want to try now and infact have taken an ovulation test and as expected (due to timings) it is positive. Obviously that is not a guarantee I would get PG this month and obviously there is no guarantee I would be taken on permantly, but Im thinking there is no perfect time to TTC. There is always a reason to wait just a month or two.

Am I right? Or am I overthinking things again? Something I know I do a lot.

Thanks and sorry its soooooo long, I wanted to get as much info out as possible rather than dripfeed it to you.

there is not a perfect time to TTc, nor is there a perfect time to get a blue line - you could wait forever for such a time to come around. waiting until after Xmas wouldn't make much difference to any risk factors (its less than 3 months now!)..but then you may not get taken on permanent anyway....

sometimes you just have to say sod it and do it anyway - the child is with you a long time after birth, some of which, at least is likely to be a tough time to have that child in the world....but not necessarily a wrong time IYSWim.

Hmm.

By the sound of it you could just hold off a little while and think about trying in a year perhaps.

Depends how old you are too. Did you have trouble falling pregnant last 2 times?

If so you could try and let sods law possibly work in your favour.

You are right about there never being an ideal time however sometimes its just a case of waiting 6 months and things are much, much easier and you can really enjoy the pregnancy so I dont think it would be a bad thing to wait either, depending on circumstances...

I agree to some extent. But when you already have children you must consider their needs, as well as what you and your DP want. Obviously a job is important, if you got pregnant and gave up work, would would support the family financially?

You have no sustainable way to support your family past Christmas, but you want to try for another child now? I think this is unreasonable (you asked for honesty)

You are still young- you have time to wait a year or so until your are more financially stable.

Wait until the new year at least. You are still young. See if the job turns up. It will make life so much easier for all of you. Otherwise how will you afford any maternity leave at all?

I would wait and see if you were taken on in a permanent role, then you can make your plans based around that.

While there is no "perfect" time to have a child per se there are better times than others, and if you are taken on over xmas you will start looking to have maternity leave and so on while if you pass up this opportuity of work, what will you do?