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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a call or text when DH is on a stag do?

29 replies

pinkypanther · 10/10/2010 17:28

That's all really. DH currently on his mate's stag do in a foreign country. Left Friday morning and not back yet. I haven't heard from him once in 3 days and am a bit hacked off to be honest that he hasn't even texted me to say that he is at the airport on his way home.

I am probably BU about this but I have been looking after our baby DS all week and all weekend and feel a bit unloved! Am I expecting too much?!

OP posts:
soppypreggyloon · 10/10/2010 17:31

No! It's nice to know they're still in one piece.

Fwiw maybe his phone isn't working abroad?

Hope he has a stinky hangover!

Nancy66 · 10/10/2010 17:31

Well I think you are being a bit unreasonable, yeah, but will probably be in the minority.

You know where he is, you know who he's with and you, presumably, know what time he's coming home...

Original poster
pinkypanther · 10/10/2010 17:33

I assume he is in one piece or someone would have told me...!

I only know what time he is coming home because I looked his flight up on the airport website. He hadn't told me (and yes, I may be at fault for not asking, but I only realised today that I didn't know!)

OP posts:
TiggyD · 10/10/2010 20:02

Relax. His phone has probably fallen down a prostitute's cleavage or something.

peggotty · 10/10/2010 20:04

TIggy Grin that was a very naughty thing to say!!!!

I think he should have phoned you, yes. Is he a sensible sort?

TiggyD · 10/10/2010 20:11

Tiggy is ashamed. Blush

MumInBeds · 10/10/2010 20:13

It really depends on what you agreed with him before he left. If he said he'd call/text and he hasn't then YANBU but if nothing was arranged then you can't expect a call.

nagoo · 10/10/2010 20:21

Reading the title I thought yabu, but reading the specifics you are most certainly not unreasonable

PaulineCampbellJones · 10/10/2010 20:38

YANBU I would have expected contact, if only to enquire about his baby.

Katerlina · 10/10/2010 20:47

YANBU

However, would say that I have a very lovely, and usually considerate, OH - but, in the past, when out with mates - he has been known to fail completely to get in touch, particularly with useful information like when I am supposed to pick him up. To the extent that I had to ring his mate (he didn't hear his phone ringing) to get a clue!

Men are rubbish, particularly in packs - don't worry, but would advise a short lecture on responsibility and not letting people worry at an appropriate time - this is not within the first half hour of his return, btw - nothing will sink in for a day or two!

Portofino · 10/10/2010 20:54

I would not expect regular updates, but a call to let you know he arrived safely is de rigeur for a responsible father in my eyes. IMHE though, men just don't THINK! It doesn't make them bad, though.

When you have a baby, part of the process is understanding that this small being is totally reliant on you. I have a six yo. The feeling is still there. Men don't get this.

LittleCheesyPineappleOne · 10/10/2010 20:56

YABU he's on a stag do, leave him be for once.

oremi · 10/10/2010 23:25

i am sure he has a very good explanation

ilovesooty · 10/10/2010 23:30

If you know who he's with and when he'll be back I don't think it's really reasonable to expect contact on a stag weekend.

Scuttlebutter · 11/10/2010 00:14

Firstly, are you sure his phone will work abroad?

Secondly, he is on a stag do. A text or a call would be nice, but a bonus. And even if he did call, he can't really do anything. I'd let him be, enjoy his weekend, then expect him to do the same when you want a weekend away.

AuntiePickleBottom · 11/10/2010 00:18

he is on a stag do, leave him alone.

Tryharder · 11/10/2010 00:21

YANBU. I would expect my DH to text me say he'd arrived safely and then also to confirm when he's due back etc. Especially if you are at home alone with a young baby.

Why didn't you call or text him btw?

huddspur · 11/10/2010 00:22

YABU he's on a stag do he's probably so pissed he can't use his phone anyway.

AuntiePickleBottom · 11/10/2010 00:23

what has the baby got anything to do with it

Hedgeblunder · 11/10/2010 00:26

I don't really get why being on a stag do would change the amount of contact. I'm pretty sure men can still use telephones even when socialising unless my dp ought to apply for a Mensa membership?
How come men are absolved of parental responsibilities when they're on holiday? Bullshit.
Yanbu

TitsalinaBumSquash · 11/10/2010 00:27

Yanbu surely its just common courtesy to phone of text to say he arrived safely or just to say hello, good morning or good night! I wouldn't be happy!

TitsalinaBumSquash · 11/10/2010 00:27

Yanbu surely its just common courtesy to phone of text to say he arrived safely or just to say hello, good morning or good night! I wouldn't be happy!

blinks · 11/10/2010 00:30

can't imagine DH not phoning daily to see how kiddywinkles are, much like i can't imagine not phoning if it was me away from home.

i'd be properly fucked off.

cat64 · 11/10/2010 00:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Hedgeblunder · 11/10/2010 00:53

That obviously works in your relationship but in the ops situation this is not normally the case cat
My dh is away four nights a week and always phones, because he wants to speak to me and make sure I'm ok.
I think your tone is pretty condescending to be honest