to not want to leap into socialising with this woman?

[PotKettleBlack]

ds goes to an sports activity class on Sat mornings, and I get an hour of being anti-social with papers and coffee on a nearby bench.

After the class another mum rushed up to me (we have never spoken, she spends the time hovering behind her kid) and said "ooh shall we do a playdate and lunch after class next week?" I actually turned round to look behind me as I thought she must be talking to someone she knows. I apologised and said we couldn't next week as we're not around next Sat (true). I said this in a whisper as have laryngitis and couldn't talk any louder. She replied, in a completely normal volume voice "oh yes, I've lost my voice too, it just went last night, I can hardly speak." wtf?

She said about doing it after half term so I nodded a bit - but I really don't want to!

I feel mean because actually I am usually friendly and sociable eg in the playground where paper-reading opportunities are limited - and perhaps she is desperately trying to make friends - but she seemed to have got it in the wrong order - ie have a bit of casual chat first, swap names, details about dcs ... then ask about social stuff. oh, and don't empathise about stuff to the point of lying!!

AIBU to just avoid her at the next session?

YABU. You are being a bit mean. I know loads of mums like this - lived in the area ages, make friends easily, got all your NCT mates thanks very much, easy child who joins in quickly and happy for you to leave him to the class while you go off and do your own thing. Good for you - not everyone's life is like that.
She's trying to make an effort. Of course you don't have to do it if you don't want to, but for heavens' sake be nice about it. It may have taken a lot of courage for her to approach you.

Whether it took a lot of courage or not, in fact particularly if it did, it's surely odd to weigh straight in with lunch and playdate? On a Saturday?
If you were shy and trying to make friends wouldn't you try something a little less full-on to start with?

Of course you should give the benefit of the doubt in may situations but suggesting a play date and lunch to someone you don't know and have never spoken to is odd. That coupled with calling the event a 'playdate.' I hate that term.

Could it be she approached you thinking you were shy and had nobody to talk to as you are just sitting alone reading your paper? So thought she would be kind.

Must admit I did wonder the same as TheLady. Rightly or wrongly, I would probably also consider approaching you if I had seen you reading on your own.

I would probably think that as you always read the papers, you might fancy someone to talk to for a change (I'm not sure I would have the balls to suggest a playdate). I would possibly just ask if you wanted to have a coffee the following saturday whilst the dc did their activity.

You can still be friendly yet relish the time to read the paper with a coffee, you know? I'm very friendly/chatty but if I had a regular date on a Saturday to look forward to this little treat I'd be pretty fed up at the thought of it having to stop. I'm with PCB.

Or PKB, even. Too early.

Id be a bit freaked out tbh. I agree, a chat & getting to know each other first is in order! If a random stranger came up to you in the street & asked to meet for lunch on saturday, would you also think they were just abit lonely & wanted to make friends? Id think they were a weirdo!