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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend has decided to start ebay too....

43 replies

chloemack · 09/10/2010 14:01

My husband and I don't have an awful lot of money, he works full time and I stay at home with our two children so we live on his wage which I supplement by selling clothes on ebay. I buy them from local thrift shops, jumble sales & car boots. My friend (who has more money than us) started taking an interest in what I do, when she was at my house she started examining the things I was selling & asking how much I bought/sold each item for, what mail bags I used etc... I didn't mind, then the following week she told me she's sold a few things & now wants to go part time at work so she can start selling more regularly, yep you guessed it, things she picks up at our local car boots, thrift shops etc... I feel pretty uncomfortable about this, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
DaisySteiner · 09/10/2010 14:03

YANBU for being annoyed but there's not much you can do about it other than say you'd prefer she didn't and expect her to be pissed off and lose the friendship.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 09/10/2010 14:04

what do you feel uncomfortable about - i dont get it why shouldnt she? Confused

mangoandlime · 09/10/2010 14:06

I think lots of people do this sort of thing, it's just that you know about it, you didn't invent the idea and it's a free country etc etc. Remind her to register with the tax man though.

paisleyleaf · 09/10/2010 14:09

You don't think it'd be a nice thing to do together then?

Original poster
chloemack · 09/10/2010 14:09

BabyDubsEverywhere - I feel annoyed because she will be trying to buy the same items I buy from the same places, obvioulsy I can't stop her but it will mean I have competition. Obviuolsy I would understand if it was a stranger but she is a friuend so it makes me uncomfortable

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 09/10/2010 14:09

Ahhh well...I understand.she nicked your idea and if you live in the same area you will have a rival for the thrift-shop bargains...but such is life ..you'll get over it..

Mumcentreplus · 09/10/2010 14:10

You just have to keep your eye on the ball and get there first! Grin

burgandy · 09/10/2010 14:12

You don't own ebay or the thrift shops, I would be flattered that he obviously admires what you do. Could you not work together. Often people's finances are not what they seem, she may have money worries herself.

FattyArbuckel · 09/10/2010 14:13

Are you registered as a business? If not you could be landed with a large suprise tax bill unfortunately.

catinthehat2 · 09/10/2010 14:14

She will get bored.

She will not be doing it tghis time next year.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 09/10/2010 14:14

oh.....right....YABU

You didnt come up with the idea, you probably didnt even put the idea in her head, you may have filled in a few blanks but thats likely all.

I hope you are both paying tax too, but somehow i doubt it...

Original poster
chloemack · 09/10/2010 14:20

BabyDubsEverywhere - sorry, why would you doubt it? I am registered as a business but am allowed to earn around £5000 per year before paying tax which so far I haven't earned

OP posts:
FattyArbuckel · 09/10/2010 14:23

Your friend is putting her financial gain above your friendship.

I think you are no longer primarily friends as much as business rivals!

SkippyjonJones · 09/10/2010 14:26

huh ! thousands of people use ebay every day. Many of them are doing it in the same was as you. I can't see why you would mind at all.

YABVU

mamatomany · 09/10/2010 14:32

YANBU - but you've learnt to keep your mouth shut the hard way.
My own mother did something similar to this, basically nicked a business idea and is taking food from her grandchildren's mouth to pay for her jolly's.

AnyFuleKno · 09/10/2010 14:38

you're being unreasonable. How do you know she's not struggling financially? If you saw someone with a good, simple idea for making money are you telling me you wouldn't 'copy' it?

Original poster
chloemack · 09/10/2010 14:40

AnyFuleKno - Umm, no I don't think I would, not from a friend I would be competing with for things to sell but perhaps from a stranger.

OP posts:
SkippyjonJones · 09/10/2010 14:42

I think this is very odd. Its not like she has opened an identical cupcake shop next door to yours.

With ebay the buyers are country wide and sometimes world wide. Each can source exactly what they want. It is unlikely that you will both find exactly the same second hand items and both be selling them at the same time. Therefore, she is not in competition with you. In which case why on earth would you mind.

Almost everybody I know sells a few things on ebay from time to time. None of them sulk about other people doing it.

Marchpane · 09/10/2010 14:46

If you're both registered with hmrc as businesses then I don't think there's a problem. Yes it's annoying but surely when she started asking about mail bags etc then you tacitly confirmed you were ok with her doing similar?

She may well lose interest when she realises she has to pay tax on her earnings, complete a tax return etc etc

LoveBeingAMardyBum · 09/10/2010 14:48

You can be mad bacause you gave her all your trade secrets without her telling you why she wanted to know, but not cause she's going to sell stuff on ebay Smile

thewook · 09/10/2010 14:49

I don't think YANBU and am surprised so many people think you are- don't think your friend has been fair to apparently nick your idea. Of course she should be able to do as she pleases, it's a free country. But since you had the idea, told her all about it and so on, she's the one who should have approached YOU about doing it together- she is now your rival- get to those jumble sales at the crack of dawn and pulverise her!!!!!

MmeLindt · 09/10/2010 14:50

YABU

There is no limit to the amount of things that can be sold on eBay. And there is no way of knowing if she will be successful and in it long term.

You have more experience, you have built up a client base, a reputation, a good eye for what to buy at car boot sales/thrift shops. Why should you worry about her being in competition?

Don't lose a friendship over it, it is not worth it.

SkippyjonJones · 09/10/2010 14:51

Mailing bags are hardly a trade secret though !

Original poster
chloemack · 09/10/2010 14:53

She likely will be looking for exactly the same things to sell as me as I have told her exactly what sells, down to brands, colours & types of clothes and what doesn't.

OP posts:
SkippyjonJones · 09/10/2010 14:54

Sorry but that is common knowledge as well.