To not stay with PIL

[Ieattoomuchcake]

I will try to keep this brief!
DH is due to be away in London thurs fri this week then at meetings in PIL home town the following Monday. PIL live about half an hour away from my mum and both are about two hours drive from where I live.
Because of DH work arrangements we agreed that I would take DD to my mum Wednesday, then go to PIL Friday pm, meet DH there and have weekend with PIL. Fine.
Now DH tells me he has arranged various social things for the weekend (for just him, eg golf) and he expects me to spend the weekend w PIL myself with him just nipping in as his social arrangements allow.
Based on this I want to just stay with my mum the whole time and just take DD through to PIL for the day on Saturday.
I think this will be best for her too as she will be sleeping in the same house each night so less disruption. She is five months old so I may be being a bit precious on that point.
DH is going all pouty lip at me saying how much his mum will be upset to not have whole weekend w DD. So I thought I'd see if you guys think I am being unreasonable...

Agree with Clam et al

Will your DH be staying the night at his parents house?

YANBU. He, on the other hand is.

Hi all.
Well I think we have found a compromise.
DH will go out w his mates Friday night and play golf with his dad early afternoon saturday. He will cancel the Sunday golf and the Saturday evening shenanigans. I will stay with my mum Friday night and go over to PIL Saturday afternoon ish. Then will have the rest of Saturday and all day Sunday w DH and PIL.

I get on ok w PIL so I suppose really I could have sucked it up and spent the weekend w them but I just didn't see why I should.
Maybe a bit selfish...

But anyway all sorted now. DH can be a bit of a mummy's boy so the thought of MIL missing out on DD time has concentrated his mind.

And hopefully has taught him that next time he shouldn't just make plans and expect me to facilitate his parents.

Well, if ILs think that they are not getting enough time, maybe they could travel to you for an afternoon in the week?

(If you don´t work)

Thing is, once you´re married with children & doing these visits to family at the weekend, then that´s what it is-a visit to family!

The IL are always more than welcome at mine but DH works away a lot and they don't seem to want to come when he's away (!!).
I guess this is just another adjustment to being a mummy. In a few years I'll no doubt be delighted to abandon DD w GP and run off shopping/ for massage etc etc

If DD spending time with his mum means that much to him he can cancel his sodding golfing plans can't he?

YANBU. He is being very selfish and making things awkward for all of you. Btw I think you're bing alot more generous than I would be. There's no way I'd spend all weekend with PIL on my own especially when DC was that young!

See you've found a compromise brilliant.

"The IL are always more than welcome at mine but DH works away a lot and they don't seem to want to come when he's away (!!)."

Yes, my parents used to come in the week to see me & stay until husband came home & see him as well.

Offered this to ILs, but they didn´t just want to see him for a couple of hours after work, they wanted him there all the time.

That made it weekends only & husband said every third weekend was enough.

So that´s how often they saw their only grandchildren rather than every week