to want my DSD to put ON some weight? :(

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ok, shamelessly posting here for more traffic sorry.

my DSD, 12 (yr8) said she weighed herself and she weighs about 5 and a half stone - not sure of BMI but it is now definitely underweight. it also means she's lost half a stone recently.

she doesn't know why she's lost this much and she's a bit worried. she's always been skinny, and was diagnosed with coeliac (at the same time as her dad) age 8 - this explained why she was skinny as she wasn't getting enough nutrients. she'd made a lot of progress putting on weight so she's quite upset.

how can she put on weight healthily? she doesn't live with us but if anyone has advice we can pass on that'd be great...

my dd1 is 12(yr8) and also about 5.5 stone. She's not got coeliac disease and eats huge amounts (more than me!) but still stays skinny.

Does she eat enough snacks? dd1 eats huge meals and snacks between as well

In a nutshell, she needs to eat the things you need to avoid if you are on a diet, but the healthier end of the spectrum things.

There are certain things I avoid if cutting back, even if they have a relatively healthy basis. Full fat dairy, salmon fillets, nuts, jacket potatoes with butter, tuna, full fat cheese and full fat mayo - you get my drift. All "real" food, and containing nutrition, but calorie dense, and to be avoided if you want to lose weight.

Obviously she is restricted with her coeliac disease (and for that reason I've avoided wheat based stuff in my examples) but there is plenty of fairly calorie dense food she can eat that isn't shyte chocolate snacks and deep fried etc (she might not give a shit about her health/skin but presumably you do).

What does she have for breakfast? Would she be tempted to have a nice bowl of porrige (pretty sure coeliac can have oats) made with full fat milk, with a generous tablespoon or more of almond meal (ground almonds) stirred in? And a banana? Very healthy, but actually quite high in energy and adding almond meal to whatever you can (anything that needs thickening, any "wet" food) will add not only calories but a very healthy form of them in the form of Omega (brain) fats, fibre, and protein.

Its a start?

Or she could swap heads with me, and I'll fatten her up. Yes. That could work.

I'm not sure really. she loves sweets, chocolate etc but she just isn't bothered about food a lot of the time. e.g. doesn't eat breakfast or just has fruit. is it as simple as 'just eat more'?

ah x-post thanks :)

Would it be worth booking some time with a nutritionist?

And get her into nuts in general. Not wheat, but a satisfying crunch, high in fat, but good fats. Surprisingly tasty. Buy her lots of different nuts to try and see if she can get into them.

All good advice so far. I was a 5.5 stone 12 year old. Looking back I know I didn't eat enough and like your DSD just wasn't that fussed about food, more of a "eat to live than live to eat" kind of person.

I now love my food although I'm still not heavy. When I'm stressed my weight tends to drop and I remember dropping to 7 stone as a 21 year old. A really good GP who I went to see about something else asked me about my weight and I said I knew I needed to eat more but the more I thought about it the harder it seemed. She suggested Complan to take the pressure off and I soon regained the weight (and then some!). I still fall back on Complan if I'm stressed and it stops me losing too much weight.

I don't think that's the way to go for your DSD but maybe she just needs to find a snack she enjoys so she can eat little and often.

As the daughter of someone with Coeliac could she be eating some gluten without realising it? Just an idea especially as recipes for branded foods can change. I remember when we realised that mini mars bars were out even though normal mars bars were fine.

BTW I think it's lovely you're so concerned and she feels able to talk to you about these concerns.

As a coeliac, she should be under a paediatrician and a dietician.
My DD is 11 and coeliac. Ahe weighs about five stone. I spent all of last winter worrying about her weight (secretly). At her last paeds app, I voiced these concerns. Basically, I was told she is fine. The ideal weight for her height. Apparently, we see so many kids nowadays who are overweight, the normal ones look thin!
Have you discussed this with her mother? The best thing you can do, is cook from scratch. It means you will use fresh healthy ingredients more. Don't use low fat. You can cook most things, just substitute the gluten items. And beware, things like Worcestershire sauce and vinegar have gluten. Oats are a grey area. You are advised not to feed them to coeliac kids.

P.s. Please please do not make food and weight an issue. Anxiety can be a side effect of digestive issues. My DD always finds something to worry about.

Definitely get her to re-check everything she's eating (in case it's no longer GF). Then I guess it really is just eat higher fat foods, nuts, avocados, salmon etc

What about building up some muscle - light weights etc?

thanks all. :)

DH is dropping DSD off now, and he said he'll have a quick chat with her mum. we're definitely trying not to make a big deal out of it, though I did ask (very gently!) if she'd tried to lose the weight and she said definitely not. she went through a brief phase of not eating as much when she started yr7 but I believe what she said.

she does seem to have some strange ideas about what she can eat (I know what foods are ok because DH is coeliac and I do all the shopping!) - TBH I think her mum doesn't bother to read the labels properly. DSD doesn't get instant pain on eating gluten like DH does (he knows within an hour) - so maybe she is still eating the wrong foods. it may be worth asking for another blood test.

her mum doesn't cook much from scratch either, and that's a battle DH has had with her many times and never won - in fact, their other DD (non-identical twins) is a couple of stone overweight so it's all a bit awkward really. they eat decent food here though.

I was wondering about muscle too - she's not very sporty, but both the girls are starting to do more clubs at school so that'll help them both.