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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not worry about my DSs accidents at nursery.

23 replies

Cadders1 · 08/10/2010 15:05

My DS has had numerous accidents at nursery since starting part time in September, including a split lip and now a black eye. I am not worried as he is getting very confident at cruising and I think just being a little too brave for his abilities. However my Sis is very concerned as is shocked that I am not, she can't believe I plan to continue to send him there despite these accidents. I think the nursery is lovely and it has a very good reputation.

so AIBU to think these things just happen? Or am I a bad mother?

OP posts:
proudnglad · 08/10/2010 15:08

Your call, only you can say. Go with your instincts. Think about the staff-kids ratio, the staff attitude, the surroundings, the Ofsted dare I say.

I was very relaxed about my dc at nursery and wasn't arsed about the odd bruise, however they never had anything like a split lip and a black eye...

SomethingNewEveryDay · 08/10/2010 15:12

My DS would fall everyday when learning to walk and in those first couple of weeks of walking before he learnt to put his hands out when he fell he had numerous bumps and quite a few nose bleeds. I think that you just have to accept that sometimes accidents happen.

Rosebud05 · 08/10/2010 15:15

How old is he? Those sound like quite nasty injuries, tbh.

My dd sustained a couple of quite deep scratches (ie scar took a LONG time to face) from another child when she started at 18 months. Although I never considered pulling her out of nursery, I did call them to ask what plans them had in place to prevent this type of injury happening again. I was happy with what arrangements they had made and, fortunately, there weren't any repeats.

I don't think you need to panic, but it might be worth considering asking them what steps they're taking to minimise these types of injury.

Rosebud05 · 08/10/2010 15:16

sorry -
scars took a long time to fade - were on her face

Squitten · 08/10/2010 15:17

What are the nursery staff saying about the injuries?

pistachio · 08/10/2010 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Cadders1 · 08/10/2010 15:25

He is only 10 months.

Well the only thing that annoys me a little is both times they do not really seem to know exactly what happened e.g. he was crawling near the cots and then started crying, he was playing near the chairs and then started crying.

I think you are right Rosebud I need to ask what measures they will take to prevent any more accidents - but don't want to be too PFB.

Everything else about the nursery I like and he seems happy to be there.

OP posts:
soppypreggyloon · 08/10/2010 15:52

Is he accident prone at home?
Mine is- he bounces off things and always has bruises somewhere. He often doesn't cry so sometimes don't know how he did it.
He's same at nursery. They are always very apologetic and seem a little puzzled when we are so relaxed about it.
If he's super cautious and bump free at home is be concerned but if it's more of the same then I'd not worry. Iyswim

Rhian82 · 08/10/2010 15:55

DS always gets scratches and bruises at nursery - not as bad as yours but I wouldn't be worried unless they were that bad every week. Once they get mobile they do fall over a lot.

iskra · 08/10/2010 16:01

My DD always gets her worse bumps in my care. She got a black eye at 12 months, she's had 3 split lips (one today!). I wouldn't bat an eyelid at her coming home from nursery with bumps since it's not unknown for us.

wb · 08/10/2010 16:02

My ds1 had a black eye and several split lips during the few months after he learnt to walk - and these were all gained at home w. me. I remember being v. embarrassed when the cashier at the supermarket looked at me an asked if anyone had called social services yet but it never occurred to me that it was anything other than normal. So, no, I don't think you are unreasonable.

Squitten · 08/10/2010 16:13

I would expect LOs to gain some injuries while they're learning to walk but it would ring a little bell for me if he has had two significant knocks in such a short time, considering he has only been there for a few weeks. Especially since nobody knows how they happened.

I think I would just have a chat with his key worker about keeping an eye on him

mountainmonkey · 08/10/2010 16:14

Toddlers are accident prone - tis a fact. If you're confident that the nursery are doing their job properly and they're logging these incidents and letting you know what happened then YANBU.
DS has had a couple of minor bumps and the nursery have always handed me an incident sheet with detailed description of what happened -it makes me feel confident that that he's in good hands.

ValentinCrimble · 08/10/2010 16:18

How would a 10 month old get a hard engough knock to cause a black eye whilst crawling on a level surface...as in on the floor? Seems a bit...well....he can only use his own strength from that position...crawling into a cot or wall would not split a lip or black an eye....only falling from a higher surface or being struck would. Do I mke sense to anyone else?

coraltoes · 08/10/2010 16:25

But Valentin, if a 10 month old fell ith body weight onto a toy say, or corner of a piece of duplo it could well cause a black eye...

wb · 08/10/2010 16:26

You do make sense ValentinCrimble but the OP said he son is cruising now, so I would assume he pulled up on something then fell and didn't get his hands under him (falling right is something they have to learn). In my ds1's case, he fell and bashed his face on a bookcase on the way down - result, 1 v. black eye.

I would def be concerned if a crawling (only) baby go such injuries but a cruising/walking one no.

Sassybeast · 08/10/2010 16:30

'numerous accidents since September' and the black eye AND split lip combo would be a concern for me. yes, toddlers fall, but if they don't actually know how the injuries have happened, then I'd be flagging up the ratio and levels of supervision. Don't think your sis is unreasonable to be asking questions tbh.

ValentinCrimble · 08/10/2010 16:31

Ah....cruising....yes...I suppose he could have fallen sideways. But that's still a bit crap imo as a cruiser needs watching.

loopyloops · 08/10/2010 16:35

I wouldn't be happy tbh. A) that he has sustained these injuries and B) That they can't tell you exactly what happened, as they clearly weren't watching him.

If my child in my care were to have a blacy eye or a split lip I would be mortified, but if it were my child in someone else's care or someone else's child in my care I think it goes further than that.

maryz · 08/10/2010 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cory · 08/10/2010 17:45

dd as a toddler knocked out teeth and knocked herself semiconscious just through falling whilst walking down our safe and carpeted hallway and bashing doorframe/wall

I was within inches of her, just didn't manage to catch her

some children are like this

those of you who would be mortified if your child had a black eye, how would you ever let a child like this learn to walk? should I just have carried her until she turned 13?

wb · 08/10/2010 17:49

Don't be ridiculous cory! Carry her - you might have dropped her! Wrapping her in cotton wool and gluing her bum to the floor would have been more the thing. Wink

iskra · 09/10/2010 00:35

ValentinCrimble - my DD got a black eye at 12 months. I was standing literally right beside her talking to another parent when she fell forward & banged her eye on the side of the slide (we were at the children's centre). These things happen. It looked AWFUL for weeks.

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