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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think people over 70 should not be let near mobiles or computers

69 replies

SlightlyJaded · 08/10/2010 13:56

I know I am BU but honestly....

Normal procedure for contacting my Mother on her Mobile

  1. I dial. Phone is switched off (usually because it's on charge which it seems to be doing almost permanently because mobiles are 'for emergencies aren't they')
  2. I dial again. It rings
  3. it rings some more and goes to voicemail
  4. I leave message that will never be picked up because 'it's so fiddly'
  5. I ring again. Mother may or may not hear it
  6. I ring again. Mother scrabbles about in her handbag because the lady at the M&S checkout has told her the phone is ringing
  7. Mother picks up and then immediately disconnects me 'Well I did push the right button but this phone has a mind of it's own'
  8. I ring again. It's engaged
  9. I ring again. Mother picks up "hello?"
10. I say "Mum it's me" 11. She says "Oh I can't talk to you now, I'm out shopping and you know I hate talking on these things" 12. I jump off nearest bridge

Normal procedure for my mother using her computer

  1. Eating supper. Home phone rings. Caller display shows mum and dads home phone number
  2. I pick up "Hello?"
  3. Mother (sounding irritated)responds "I've got one of those blue boxes that says "error with 3509568.exe file"
  4. "Hello? Who is this please?"
5 Mother "Oh don't be so facetious. This bloody computer is not working again"
  1. "oh would that be the one DH and I bought you for Christmas?"
  2. Mother. "Well if it's all about who spent what...."
  3. Me (realising the futility of my irritation and not pointing out that this is her 3rd computer and she's been 'using' them for a good 10 years now) "what are you trying to do?"
  4. Mother "I'm writing"
10. Me "ok... what programme are you in" 11. Mother "oh there's no point asking me those sorts of questions" 12. Me "what are you trying to write?" 13. Mother "to Sandra" 14. Me "an email?" 15. Mother "no on the internet" 16. What do you mean "on the internet" 17. Mother "the blue e" 18. Me. "Hang on a sec, DD has dropped a knife" 19. Mother (aside to my dad). "DD has dropped a knife" 20. Dad in distance "who are you on the phone to?" 21. Mother "well who do you think I'm on the phone to? I just told you DD dropped a knife didn't I?" 22. Me "hello?" 23. Dad in distance "well that didn't necessarily mean you were on the phone to SlightlyJaded did it" 24. Me "hello? hello?" 25. Mother (aside to Dad). OOh look at that cat on the telly. How have they got it to do that. 26. Me (under my breath lowering the receiver) "it's done in post fucking production isn't it. Cats can't really play the trumpet you know".

Five hours later, three emails arrives from mother. They are all empty.

OP posts:
SeaTrek · 08/10/2010 14:00

LOL - how funny!

I am like your mother with my mobile now though!

My dad is in his late seventies and quite good on the computer (an early adopter), however, he did go through a phase of spamming people Blush and I had to sort that out whilst he was in hospital after a stroke.

Anyway, YABU, not all people over seventy are like that and there are plenty of people much younger who are just as bad as your mum!

mumeeee · 08/10/2010 14:03

My Mum is 81 and she is really great at texting. Dad ( 88)can read text messages but he has trouble answering them so Mum does it for him.
They both use the computer but do tend to phone DH if they get stuck.

spooktrain · 08/10/2010 14:08

the first time I got an email from my dear mum she wrote it 'on the computer' (using outlook) then printed it off and sent it in the post

Itsjustafleshwound · 08/10/2010 14:09

It was a life life for my 95 yo gran. When my mum was away she always asked my mum to send her a SOS (she meant SMS!!)

serenity · 08/10/2010 14:11

We're buying my Great Nan a laptop for her 80th next week... I'm very grateful that it'll be my Uncle or my SDad that gets to field this sort of thing (DH is the goto guy for all our friends and their relatives already)

My Mum's like that with her mobile - she complains that nobody rings/texts her and just contacts SDad, but that's because she never answers her damn phone.

olderandwider · 08/10/2010 14:11

Ha ha, that is extremely funny. It reminds why I never encouraged my dad to get a pooter.

SlightlyJaded · 08/10/2010 14:15

Serenity my mum can't text either. She is very irritated that her best friend can and does often text her own DD. As though someone gave her best friend the power to text but not her. I've only shown her about 20 times....

OP posts:
Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 08/10/2010 14:17

My mum came to visit, I ask if she would like to check her hotmail on my PC. "ohh can I check my email on your PC?" she seriously thinks her email is local to her PC (like an actual address) and that I am some sort of serious IT freak that means I know how to access HER PC from my PC.

They think predictive text is some sort of witchcraft....

Rollmops · 08/10/2010 14:23

Odd, even my dear old Nanny is doing her banking online, never mind emails.

ratspeaker · 08/10/2010 14:23

Spook you nearly cost me a keyboard!
My mum, bless her, was really good at texting and email, kept her in touch with family, my sister lives hundreds of miles away.
Sis would text mum a weather report every morning, " to make sure I made it through the night" mum would say. After mum died it upset sis not to be doing that daily so now we text each other

But mum's idea of internet shopping was to email me a list of what she wanted- mind you i didn't charge delivery fees Hmm

We got my inlaws mobile phones. They leave them at home in case the phones get lost!

RunningOutOfIdeas · 08/10/2010 14:24

We bought my grandmother and MIL really basic, big button phones from here.

The one we chose has a slide lock on the side (now MIL is not scared that she will accidentally press buttons while it is in her pocket). The buttons are big enough to cope with poor eyesight or shaky hands. It vibrates, rings loudly and has a flashing light. It also has 3 memory buttons for the numbers they use most frequently (it also has a normal mobile phone memory).

Neither of them can text, but at least they are no longer scared that if they press the wrong button a hand will appear and slap them round the face.

happystory · 08/10/2010 14:34

Whilst turning my phone off one night I inadvertently dialled my mother's number, it being the last number I had called. I thought I had cancelled it quickly enough so it wouldn't show up as a missed call on her phone. Completely forgot about it. 5 p.m the next day she rings. 'Thank god, you are ok.' Me Confused She said 'Well I had a missed call from you at 11.30 last night and I though you'd been in an accident.' Confused

Also if you don't reply to texts straightaway she rings to see if we've got the text.....

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 08/10/2010 14:42

spooktrain that's genius Grin

MistsAndMellow · 08/10/2010 14:43

Fantastic Grin

TooImmature2BMum · 08/10/2010 14:46

My dad is 46 and can't text or use his computer either. His wife (39) is only marginally better. It's not just old people! Dad also refuses to put his bank card details into anything online in case someone manages to steal them and spend his money.

SlightlyJaded · 08/10/2010 14:51

Last Christmas my mum placed a large order at Amazon (or so she thought). Actually, she had just clicked on 'contact' and sent them a long email with a list of the books she wanted Shock

And even then, she was rather pleased that she had managed to send them an email....

OP posts:
TanteRose · 08/10/2010 14:54
Grin

my 92 year old FIL has a mobile phone...

this morning, the phone rings and I see from number display that its him, and I answer the phone.

Immediately he says "Who's this then?"

erm, well, you called me, Gramps!

"Morning, Gramps, its me, Tante!"

"Oh right, yes, just to let you know, Uncle H is in hospital for the day, for his operation...you know...." (I actually have no idea...)

"OK, Gramps, I'll be sure and tell DH. Thanks for lett...."

Sometime its his phone number on display, and when you answer it, all you can hear is footsteps and breathing noises...he has obviously pressed a button while the phone is in his pocket!

Love him to bits though...Grin

QuintessentialShadows · 08/10/2010 15:00

Yab Totally U. not

Wink

Your mother is like my mother regards to mobile phones.

My mother refused to have anything to do with my fathers laptop, as she said "He will only ask me all the time, and I hatem them buggars" When I retired, I retired FROM computers". True. She had spent 15 years on computers.

My father is now where your mother is, as he is 83, and decided to get a laptop 8 years ago, when they retired.

On the bright side. He has given me their online banking details so I can do their banking from MY pc, rather than theirs.....

serenity · 08/10/2010 15:02

Slightlyjaded I think my Mums problem is that she can't see the screen on the mobile and never thinks of putting her reading glasses on. She's pretty awesome on the PC though, does all her banking and shopping online. They have one of those lovely touchscreen HP PCs /dies of envy.

Must email her actually...

proudnglad · 08/10/2010 15:16

God your OP made my day! You are a funny laydee.

Shodan · 08/10/2010 15:21

My Dad is great on the computer (he's 75) but useless on the mobile. I am forever getting rustly, echoey calls when he hasn't locked the phone while it's in his pocket.

Mum will send texts like 'hv gt BIG. do u wan 2 gt t 2! lv mm'. I have no idea what they mean and never find out because she always forgets what she's said. She refuses to have a computer - even though we offered to buy one, set it up AND pay her broadband for her- and calls us 'bullies' for trying to persuade of the internet's brilliance. (We actually know that she doesn't want the internet because then she will be required to do things for herself rather than guilt-tripping us into doing them for her)

So, on balance..... I have made no concrete decision as to whether you are being U or not. Grin

OrmRenewed · 08/10/2010 15:22
Grin

Brilliant!

Actually I am well under 70 and I am like your mum with mobile phones. Didn't have them in my day...

NotActuallyAMum · 08/10/2010 15:28

My mum won't even turn her mobile on "because it wears the battery out"

If she ever gets let loose on a computer we're probably all doomed

shoshe · 08/10/2010 15:29

Oh dont.

DF is coming his weekend.

He is 82

He wants me to teach him to use a laptop {arrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg]

Then take him to buy one.

I have explained that really he needs to get the broadband in before he buys one (he can get one free through his Sky account)

He said he would get one of those Dingaling things I use when I am not at home.

Dad can't even get a mobile signal where he lives, it will take forever to lad anything on a dongle, he is not the most patient of men.

He wants to be able to use Facebook to keep in touch with his Grandchildren.

They are all at Uni/Bristol Old Vic/Work in Hollywood.

The photos are going to shock him arn't they.

He is going to moan to me isn't he.

That is if he can actually manage to use it.

He wants me to set it up with my browers (Chrome) so that his favourites are up the top and he can just click, cos he has seen me doing it and it must be easy.

I am going to go mad arn't I.

terryble · 08/10/2010 15:36

My mother has just turned 50, and is equally incompetent.

She's given up on computers now, because she couldn't turn one on and off. You see, it actually entailed listening to more than one word in five of my explanation, and she couldn't be bothered.

She also couldn't be bothered to read the piece of paper upon which I'd carefully written instructions, including pictures.

Past events: I had to explain to her that even with wireless broadband, she would still have to have an electricity cable, as you cannot download electricity from the internet.