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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tidy DS1s bedroom with a shovel and a bin sack?

53 replies

SoupDragon · 07/10/2010 13:16

He's 11. I told him back at the start of the summer holiday that he wouldn't be having a Facebook account until he has tidied his room. He has made absolutely zero effort. Literally nothing. It would be a simple job to get the snow shovel and a large sack and clear it completely in around 15 minutes.

However, this would make me a hypocrite as my childhood room was very similar and I am simply not a tidy person myself. and i can't bear the thought of throwing away things which may be important.

OP posts:
Flighttattendant · 08/10/2010 08:00

Oh God I'm sure this gets harder as they grow older and their 'stuff' becomes more theirs, not up to us t make arbitrary decisions...

I just had a two day toy sort out in their bedroom. It was gruelling but not too bad. I think I'm going to not get them much for Christmas though.

Nuttybear · 08/10/2010 09:32

I like the black bag idea and if every parent did it then you might not feel like Cruella De Vil. They may say your the meanest person in the world but you know it not true. To tell you the truth I might try the black bag method on myself. The bottom of my wardrobe, cupboard under the stairs loft and a cupboard in the kitchen need this method. If I don't go back to it in a year it needs to go to the charity shop. I keep promising to do a boot sale but I don't have the time and e-bay.... I don't go there.

Wish there was a light bulb icon!

SparklyJules · 08/10/2010 12:21

We have a playroom. It used to be our conservatory where we would sit of an evening, drinking wine, listening to music, chatting... ...

Seven years and 2 kids later... it resembles Hell In A Toy Shop.

Well it did, until last weekend when DH and I marched in there with binbags and protective clothing. We threw away tons of stuff. Actually binned it, no remorse at all. Good quality stuff went in a box in the garage and it will go in the next charity bag to come through the front door.

It felt great Grin and the kids haven't missed anything we've thrown out.

I'm sure all our hard work will be undone when Christmas comes and they get loads more plastic tat presents.

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 08/10/2010 13:18

ah, you see, i do find it so reassuring that, in fact, the sea of mess on my DDs floor is actually normal. I am just too soft, cos when she says "but I do still really like XYZ" I crumble and give in. a few times i have given stuff away then felt guilty as anything when they have finally asked do I know where it is!

but they do respond Ok to requests for donations to a charity shop - just not enough. they will get rid of a couple of things when they could easily lose a sackful - they would rather buy a christmas toy appeal gift out of their pocket money than give stuff away.

mandymolly · 08/10/2010 14:38

oh,oh,oh untidy rooms. i have 2 DS at home.
one moved out and always was tidy but the other who was horrendous before he left and then moved back and who now nags the youngest
DS

tallwivglasses · 08/10/2010 23:25

This thread has made me feel so much better.

I've always just about managed to cope with not seeing the floor, etc, but it's the rotting food and strange alien lifeforms growing in cups and glasses (my favourite cups and glasses,ie.the BIG ones...)that worry me.

I warned dd (then 16) about flies, maggots, mice even, to no avail.

I once managed to abseil over her stuff to sit on her bed and attempt to have a bonding session after a big bust-up - and kicked over and broke a jar containing a dead lizard in formaldehyde that her friend had nicked from the science lab. It stank! And we laughed so it was all okay.

She's recently moved into her own flat - and is really houseproud! (also thinking about her deposit). There's hope.

Tokyotwist · 09/10/2010 07:41

My dd is 2. One of her favourite games at the moment is TIDY UP.
Daddy tells her what to pick up and what colour box to put it in. She loves it.
Alas, I know it won't last Smile.

I was the messiest person in my family and still am. Keep telling myself that it takes just as much effort to put the clothes on the chair next to the wardrobe as it would to hang them up or put them in the laundry bin, but for some reason I just don't listen.

ragged · 09/10/2010 09:08

During hours when DD was at school one week I cleared everything out of her room and into boxes (into the loft). Then we dithered about cleaning the room a week or 2 (she did help). Then I said she had to decide where everything went back.

She couldn't decide, or declared that it should go back "exactly" where it was (all over the floor not acceptable to me!). Eventually I put back things I know she treasures most, but as much as I dared, I took to the charity shops (in the city 17 miles away!) or is still in the loft. That was months ago... I am waiting to see what else she wants back. Her room is a tip just from lots of worn-for-2-hours clothes piled about.

I try not to buy her clothes ever, but she spends pocket money on clothes.

Maybee · 09/10/2010 12:37

My 8yr old shares with his nearly 3 yr old brother so he has had to keep all tiny bits of lego etc off the floor. The baby is now one and can't keep out of their room either. Ds1's solution is to bring everything up into his top bunk now! I hate going into their room as it gets messed up v fast which makes me a hypocrit
as I never understood why my messy room annoyed my mum when I was a kid. After all it was my room! Every so often I do a big cull with a binbag and loads of stuff goes to the charity shop or bin. They never miss the stuff anyway butI will need to do a cull soon to make some room for all the delightful Christmas toys!

SylvanianFamily · 09/10/2010 13:57

My method is a bit like the Flylady.

I set a timer for fifteen minutes. I argue that the definition of 'too many toys' is 'too many toys to be able to tidy in fifteen minutes'. I come back after the timer has gone with a black bag (rubbish) and a pink bag (charity shop).

The downside, is that things look tidy, but get jumbled up. I really struggle with things like jigsaws and games.

Tortington · 09/10/2010 13:59

once a quarter i make my kids tidy their rooms. this is to prevent rats and reclaim all my plates and cutlery

apart from that i leave it as i am very careful what battles i pick

Sassybeast · 09/10/2010 16:17

I opened the window and threw everything into the garden. Luckily we had no neighbours at the time Blush It had an impact for - oh - about 3 days ?

I feel quite hypocritical though as my bedroom was disgusting. I've gone completely the other way though now and think I'm a bit obsessive...

Original poster
SoupDragon · 09/10/2010 16:32

I'm really not sure i can beat a pickled lizard. :o

We did once find a dead mouse (whole) under the wardrobe in DS1s room but that can't really be blamed in the mess. As an aside, DS2 had a headless mouse in his room (dead of course). A few weeks later he proudly announced that he'd found the head.

children with their father this weekend. Seriously considering the snow shovel and a few large boxes (easier to shovel into).

OP posts:
threestars · 09/10/2010 17:53

I did a big tidy-up and clean of DS's bedroom this week. (Bin bag method excellent). I noticed a little spider's web on the ceiling above his bunk bed, so climbed up there to hoover it up, and it seems that one web leads to another which leads to another.
My poor DS has been sleeping in a spider metropolis.
When he came back from school and went into his room he gasped and whispered 'wow' quite reverentially as if it had been on a makeover programme instead of just tidied, hoovered and polished.

mumeeee · 09/10/2010 18:13

He cabn't have a facebook account legally until he is 13. I would just leave his room to him.shut the door and don't go in there.

ilovehens · 09/10/2010 19:51

A facebook account at age 11? {chuckles}....you have much to learn Wink

aloiseb · 09/10/2010 21:03

The solution I'm afraid is to be consistently incredibly untidy yourself.

Then tidying up becomes an act of rebellion....my dd has just spent her Saturday tidying 3 rooms while I was at work.

All the wading through rubbish - plastic kitchens and the like - when she was a toddler is now officially worth it.:o

BrightLightBrightLight · 09/10/2010 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whomovedmychocolate · 09/10/2010 22:07

Take photos of all his shit. Put them on Facebook in an account using his name. Invite all his friends to comment.

Grin
phipps · 09/10/2010 22:11

I don't get this thing of letting your kid do/have something just because their mates do. Make your own decisions.

herbietea · 09/10/2010 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

openerofjars · 10/10/2010 01:17

My sister was a foul mess-beast in her teens. Her room was a gross cave of scuzz where spoons, cups and all my favourite items of clothing went to die. My parents and I used to get our stuff back by getting my Granny to help her tidy. "Ooh, what's this, dear? And is that a stain or a pattern? Would you like me to put your clean clothes away in this drawer? Goodness, what an interesting smell..." etc. And because it was Granny, she didn't feel able to tell her to FO.

God bless that old woman. She must have the world's strongest immune system. No wonder she survived two world wars.

Original poster
SoupDragon · 10/10/2010 10:08

"A facebook account at age 11? {chuckles}....you have much to learn "

No, actually I don't have much to learn Hmm

"I don't get this thing of letting your kid do/have something just because their mates do. Make your own decisions."

You've missed the point. I do make my own decisions, thank you very much, but the fact is that his old primary school friends use it to keep in touch with each other and chat.

This was about tidying his room. Not facebook, which, you will notice, none of us use.

OP posts:
Doodlez · 10/10/2010 10:15

Soupy, can I just tell you, from experience, this is far less work and much more effecient than a shovel.

WowOoo · 10/10/2010 14:17

Custardo makes hers tidy up once a quarter. I aim for once a month and fail.

Feel much better now,thanks.

If I think about what ds x 2 will be like when teenagers I feel a bit woozy. Confused

Don't suppose any teenagers still believe in SSanta?