Friend hasn't acknowledged my baby :(

[BettyButterknife]

DS is 10 weeks old. When he was born we did the normal thing of sending a text to let everyone know. One of my best friends sent a text back, but since then - nothing. No card, no present.

Just find it a bit weird, really. She was very generous when DS1 was born and sent presents for him and for us. I did the same when her DC2 was born and spent a really long time finding the perfect presents.

I probably am BU but it's been playing on my mind. I guess the older DS gets the less likely it is that she'd send something... maybe she has but it's been lost in the post - but how on earth could I find out??

I NEVER expected anything from my friends for any of my children. Though was very touched when they did. I'm a bit that people do.

Fallingwithstyle Neither. Both.

That's sad, inchhighprivateeye... I will get in touch with my friend, hopefully there's nothing awful going on in her life - just her general forgetfulness!

I wouldn't dream of not sending at least a card to one of my best friends who'd had a baby, but I think I have to get over that and accept that people are different and have very different ideas about this, and alter my expectations accordingly.

Oh.

Well then why are you focusing on lack of gift?

Shes one of your best friends and hasn't been in touch for ten weeks, hasnt asked about your new baby...thats odd, right? More odd than not sending a present.

Could be anything - as others have said, she may have some stuf going on but doesn't want to bother you with it.

Give her a call!

C'mon. Its a friendship, not a series of equitable transactions. There could be a whole load of reasons why she hasn't sent anything - cost, hassle, forgot, lost in post, etc. - she may even think that there's no need to. She may have recently had news which makes it difficult for her to thnk about your new arrival.

Forget about the present and - as you obviously care about this woman - just focus on being mates. Me and my best mates never buy each other anything - no particular reason, just feel that we don't have to.

TheProvincialLady, I was so disappointed that you actually meant "fuss", since "making of muss of someone" sounds like a really nice, hair-stroking cuddle! I 'm going to make a muss of DS when he gets up from his sleep!

If it is out of character for her not to have sent a card or been in touch why haven't you wondered what has been going on with her to disappear rather then look at it that she hasn't acknowledged your new baby?

ring her now.

then let us know what's the deal.

I'm sorry but I don't think you are BU.

This is one of your best friends and she hasn't even sent a card after 10 weeks?

well I think yabu

She probably is busy/preoccupied and wants to talk properly when it's convenient for you both and give you a present when she sees you

I think if you just sent her a text - and then she replied by text - she HAS been in touch. If someone takes the time to send a baby announcement card then you might expect a congratulations card back ........... maybe this communication by text is just 'modern' etiquette. (hopelessly old fashioned).

Perhaps she has more going on in her life at the moment than your baby?

Anything could have happened. Why not be concerned about where shes been for 10 weeks instead of being worried about not having another gift to add to the huge collection Im sure you already have.

Similarly to Emptyshell and inchhighprivateeye's friend, one of my good friends had a baby this year, I had just lost a pregnancy for the 5th time in a row and couldn't bring myself to go and buy a card or present for the same emotional reasons. I did send her a text or email (I can't remember which now) to congratulate her. The card followed a few weeks later when I could get my head around buying a baby card.

i have been wanting to see my friends baby now for 3 wks but each weekend one of us is ill with a cold etc and i dont want to visit a new baby when i have germs so not been yet but i have text to say why