Can't decide if dad's being sexist or just out of touch?

[JaneS]

I'm fed up with my dad because he's been being very pushy about my brother's upcoming wedding, constantly trying to take charge and organize us all. Turns out, my other brother's girlfriend, can't make it to the wedding as it's a planeflight and a long train ride away. She's just starting an internship and has to be there for a meeting.

Dad's been bending my ear about how he's concerned that little brother's girlfriend 'could make the time if she wanted to'. He claims she could easily reschedule. I can see that if she's serious about her career at this early stage, she almost certainly can't.

I told my dad this and said that imo my big brother would have a lovely wedding anyway and we shouldn't worry.

Is it me, or is there a bit of sexism going on here? When I planned my wedding my parents lost no time insisting we should fit it around big brother's complicated career needs (which we were happy to do), whereas my older brother has just told us a date a few months in advance, so I don't think he expects everyone to be able to turn up. Dad's view is that we should all just drop everything and come, but that seems to be the most difficult for the female members of the family!

YANBU. I am astonished that people are listening to your Dad. why does he feel the need to stick his oar in. It's not his wedding.

Well, we're not really listening! My poor big brother apparently gets a couple of emails from him every week and has developed a 'faulty internet connection' as a result.

If I suggested to dad that he might be coming across as sexist he'd be shocked, but I really don't want him to offend my brother's girlfriend as I like her very much, and it seems so rude when if you looked at her and my brother objectively, she seems set to be so much more high-flying career-wise.

LRD - he's just a product of his era :) He can't help it. Just carry on smiling and ignore or keep developing faulty internet connections, phone lines etc!!

Thanks Chipping. I was wondering if someone would say they didn't think he was being sexist, you see. My big brother (who has a remarkable ability to bury his head in the sand), never thinks dad is sexist because he always treats big brother's career as more important than mine or my brother's girlfriend's, 'and it is', as he says!

Meh ... I do get fed up with my family and I do appreciate MN for letting me blather on about it ...

Now - I should go post on the Wine thread and annoy the OP by asking for wine at 1pm.