To think health professionals have seen a birthmark before?

[strawberrybaby]

Especially health professionals who work with children.....

My baby daughter has a strawberry birthmark on her forehead. It's about the size of a 5p, bright red and slightly raised. Anyone who knows me in real life now knows exactly who is posting this!

I appreciate that young children/people in general are curious or shocked or whatever and will ask questions/point/stare (or tell me that I really should "get it zapped", because "she's a girl". Grrr)

But today, for probably the fifth or sixth time a health professional has done this, a health visitor at the local SureStart swooped on us in the waiting area exclaiming "ohhh! You've had a nasty accident! What happened?".

This follows on from other occasions when hps have assumed it's an injury, commented or otherwise drawn attention to my daughter's birthmark.

The worst time was when the baby massage instructor (SureStart again) asked in front of the whole group "what's that on her head? Is it a birthmark?" and then proceeded to talk about it at length. This was at the point when I was still feeling upset at the appearance of dd's strawberry and feeling self concious about it. I went bright red and nearly cried.

These days I am, generally, at peace with her "trademark". But I am quite disbelieving that a health professional who works with children has a) not seen a strawberry birthmark before- one in ten children have them and b) has not been trained to be more tactful despite their curiosity.

AIBU, oversensitive etc?

YANBU. Sounds as though you have met a lot of insensitive and tactless people.

When DD was born, I felt I was constantly explaining to random strangers, and health professionals that the strawberry mark on her crown was 'just a birthmark'

DD had very little hair so it was very prominent.I always felt like I was convincing them it wasn't a result of a bump, burn, or anything more sinister.

DD is 14 months now and it is slowly shrinking, its definitely less raised and fading in colour.

I don't think you are being over sensitive, this is your beautiful baby we are talking about!

Ds has a chocolate coloured birthmark on his face. I still clearly remember my hormonr induced outrage and tears when he was 3 days old and ex sil told me not to worry because it might fade and if not I could get it lasered. My newborn was completely, 100% perfect in my eyes, and it hurt when someone suggested that he was not!

My 8 week old has a birthmark on her shoulder in a perfect figure of eight a it really does look like someone has drawn number eight on her. The doctor who did her newborn check at the hospital thought she has been lying on someone that had marked her skin!
He even took a photo of it

You poor thing. I know how you feel. My ds had a "huge" strawberry birthmark on his head. I was so worried that it would be huge and ugly and he would have to have it removed. I don't remember people asking me about it, but that's probably because I was too busy asking every health professional I came across how I could get rid of it. Ds is now 9 and my stepdaughter, who hasn't seen him in 5 years (live in another country) was just asking about it and I had forgotten completely that he ever had it and couldn't even find it on his head.

YANBU.
DD2 has one on her forearm about 2 pounds coin in size. Everybody comments on it, I am happy it is getting to winter time and will be hidden for a while.

Comments are a very wide range "ooooh poor thing did she hurt herself?" "what is THAT?" "You can lazer it later in life" "Be very careful it has to be checked regularly because.... " "it will disappear when she is 2" "or not" "it will get worse" "it is a pity it is a girl"
and my favorite!
"what did you steal when you were pregnant?" (local belief)

This is a subject close to my heart.

DD developed a strawberry birthmark on her back when she was three weeks old. In my case the doctors knew what it was and were absolutely brilliant when she had started having breathing difficulties at seven weeks and had her immediately admitted to hospital.

She ended up in ICU with a tracheostomy at nine weeks because another one had appeared on one of her vocal chords.

Apparently it is not uncommon for these to appear in pairs and you sometimes get one on the back of a child's neck and one on the front, or in some cases like my daughter, internally.

The haemangioma started to go when she was two and the trachy came out when she was three and a half, the week before Christmas. It was the best Christmas present ever.

Quite frankly I am shocked at the ignorance of the health professionals you have come across.

My ds had a large brown birthmark on the palm of his hand.

The second -and last time - we saw a health visitor, she saw it, grabbed him from my arms and exclaimed "my god! Don't you wash him? Had he had his hand down his nappy?!"

Stupid cow. Then she rushed us into the GP next door as ds had 'swollen knees'. The GP took one look and said "yes, he's four months old, they usually do have quite chubby legs" and appologised for her wasting all of our time.

Have never seen one since, and never will. Can highly reccomend sticking to doctors and pediatricians.

DS1 had a large strawberry mark on his chest - he is nearly 5 now, and it is quite faded but still visible - I lost count of the number of HV's who asked what it was! The worst one was the HV who came up to me when I was getting him dressed after a weigh in - I'd never met her before, and she hadn't weighed DS1 - and said out of nowhere, "You really mustn't worry about his birthmark"
Me, "I'm not worried"
HV, "You really mustn't because it looks awful now (!) but it will fade"
Me, "We're really not bothered"
HV "I've seen them on quite a few children and they do fade eventually"
Me, "Yeah, we're not worried and nor is he"
HV, "Don't worry poppet" (to DS1)

TO be fair, it was at it's brightest at this point so I don't think she meant "awful" in a judgy way...so there, even when a health professional does recognise a birthmark, they don't always deal with it how you might wish!

Really good to read all your stories. I'm shocked tbh that so many people have tales of boorish HCPs wading in. The thing that bothers me is that they are very rarely giving advice, most of the time it's like they just want to have a gossip about it, or (for some reason) point out that it's there. Sometimes I want to say "yes I can see it, you know".

To those who think I'm being oversensitive, look at it this way: if a child was obese, it may be appropriate for a health visitor/GP/whoever to mention it in private and ask whether the parent needs any info. But careering across the waiting room bellowing "have you been eating too many cakes young lady?!" would not be appropriate. Or if you had a large mole on your face, would it be appropriate for a HCP to comment on it, loudly, in public?

All I expect is that people stop and think for a moment before blurting out whatever is in their head, especially if they are professional specialising in kids' health.

Personally I don't comment if someone's baby is fat/thin/bald/scabby/wonky in some other way, as babies so often tend to be. I always say "what a lovely baby", because they are. They're lovely, whatever quirks they've been blessed with.

YANBU - Strawberry birthmarks are very distinctive and I'm a bit that a health visitor wouldn't know what it was immediately. Should also know that they fade and therefore, whilst may be initially upsetting to parents, they're actually no big deal at all.

YANBU. DD1 had a strawberry birthmark come up in the middle of her forehead at one month. I had very similar questions and people staring at her like she was a freak. It used to really upset me at first. My DD is 5 now and barely noticeable.

An Asian doctor saw her and said it was good luck in his religion and I should be very proud. It was the loveliest thing I heard.

At nursery, DD had photos taken and the photographer airbrushed it out! I thought that was sooo rude. I told him so and didn't buy the photos.

at the airbrushing. So what was he meant to think when he was older - I had it, then I didn't, then I had it again
DD is 1 and has one about the size of a 5p on her upper arm.. I can't tell whether it's getting smaller or whether she's just growing round it iyswim? We've been told by 3 different HCPs that it wil vanish by the time she's 1, by the time she's 2 and by the time she starts school.
Never had any insensitivity, thankfully.

Sorry to hear about your experiences.

Sometimes HCPs are actually required by child protection policies to ask about any marks, but obviously it should be done sensitively and privately. And I would hope that most HCPs are familiar with strawberry birthmarks but it seems not!

Any birthmarks that are noted at birth should be recorded in the baby's medical notes so that they cannot be mistaken for bruising or marks of abuse.

Unfortunately, there are bad HCPs as well as good, and HVs often seem to be the worst

I think you are being a little bit U. Both of my dc had strawberry marks. Dd had a gold ball sized one on her lip which had to be eventually removed ( though is still there,she's almost 6) and ds has one on his leg that looks like I've bitten him.

It's just one of those things you need to be a bit thick skinned about. I couldnt tell you the amount of people who asked me what dd had done to herself and yes, after 6 years it is a bit boring but just say "it's just a birthmark" and change the subject.

We too got asked if we wanted dd's lip airbrushing in some wedding photos. I just said no thanks. It was an Ill judged comment by someone who didn't know what it was.. It wal slightly annoying and I might have mutterEd twat in my head but, it's not the end of the world. If if had been a knock I probably would have wanted it removing anyway!

Sorry your feeling a bit sensitive about it but your goi g to have to get used to it cos it goes on and on and on.

Tokyo that is bloody awful! I very much hope a lesson was learned by all concerned.

Yes agree hcp should have more tact.

You will get used to it. I find staring worse, prefer to be asked directly (my DD has a missing hand not a birthmark)

Accept every hosp or Dr apt will take far longer. DD always gets a full exam even for something minor. Tend to avoid if at all possible.