Child Benefit and Tax credits

[mompa]

Hi I hope someone can advise. I share care of my two year old with his dad. I work full time. Dad does not work. My son is with me thurs night until monday morning and is at nursery all day friday and monday - I pay for most of this though he does get some funding on 2 year old project through his dad being on Benefits. Dad does not work and gets Child Benefit Tax credits and Incapacity Benefit. My son also goes to another specialist nursery on Wed and Thurs for a few hours and this is paid for by myself and his paternal gradma. Who should be receiveing the child benefit, Tax credit etc. Dad is controlling and calls himself the main carer. Since I work full time i only spend all day sat and sun with my son but since he is at nursery all day fri and mon day neither of us care for him on those day iyswim. Hope someone can help because I am fed up of feeling like a part time mum

hi sweetheart, have you thought of going to see specialist adviser (sp?) at your local cab?

What kind of help did you have in mind, exactly?

Help is probably the wrong word. I wondered what peoples view would be on who is "main carer". At times feel like giving up work so I can spend more time with my litte boy but he has a speech delay and specialist nursery is expensive and seems to be helping a bit with this

I could be wrong but I thought it went off the number of times the child slept over.

ie if you have him 4 nights and his dad has him 3 then you are main carer and should be claiming any tax credits and cb.

Geek is correct. You are the maincarer. You should be claiming chb and ctc/wtc. You could also be getting the childcare element of wtc as you are a 'single' parent.

It sounds like the dad is using you to fund his lifestyle by depriving you of the benefits you are entitled to.

Whoever gets child benefit also gets qualifying years for state pension. That is why most mothers apply for it. If you do not work, or do not work enough to pay National Insurance, you do not in general qualify for state pension. So although you might be the main carer, you might want to protect your DH's pension.

I think you are getting shafted op.

Thanks so much for your replies. I don't know how I will broach this with Dad since he we just insist on having him another night and I really don't want to see any less of him than I already do.

He cant force you into giving your DS to him an extra night. It sounds like he's bullying you.

I think you need to get some kind of formal mediation to sort out access/custody.

Are you happy with the current arrangement?

I don't think you do have to broach the subject with your ex though. Can't you just contact the relevant authorities and tell them that you are the main carer and payments need to be made to you.

You sound scared of him no wonder hes your ex.

If youre husbands at home on benefits why are you paying for childcare?

Tell tax credits. Initially, they'll try and talk you into working it out between yourselves, but they can decide who the main carer is, based on things already mentioned like the number of nights the children sleep over. It will also go on things like who is responsible for taking them to school, doctor's appointments, etc.

you can just go ahead and change it all without telling him. this happened to a stay at home dad I know. his ex changed all the benefits to her name and address without anyone ever asking or telling him. child was at that point living with him full time but that didn't stop anyone happily changing the benefits over. bet he's claiming all kinds without you knowing about it.