to think DH is being bullied by a teenager?

[aerobargirl]

There's a local teenager, aged about 16 who calls my DH's name really loud when he sees him, in the local shops, or at the bus stop etc. He does it to me too but I don't get bothered. However, this evening, he shouted over to DH: "name" you're only a bollix, and "a queer". This was at the bus stop and in front of other people. DH came home like a bull and then called to his house to see the parents, but there was no one in. If it were my son I'd want to know what he was up to. I know his mum to smile and nod at only.

I'm not sure if DH should call up later or tomorrow - I've a feeling it will make the child behave worse. I've no idea how he behaves with his parents. Is DH overreacting in your opinion? Should he risk telling the parents about his son's behaviour?

A smack in the mouth should sort it out, no one should take that sort of shit

Well it doesn't sound like he's been bullied, just that there is some young rude scrote calling him names. I don't think he's overreacting telling the parents.

How well to you know his parents and are they likely to be receptive or able to do anything about it? If you suspect not, then I might be inclined to just totally blank the kid. If he's getting no reaction, hopefully he'll eventually get bored of making a twat of himself?

Call up the community police (not 999) and get them to have a word with the lad about anti-social behaviour. The embarrassment of having a police car parked outside the house should ensure a hefty punishment from the parents. You don't want it to escalate.

Thanks for your quick responses. His mum seems fine, but I don't know her well. They seem decent enough but you never know do you? I'd love to box him one alright, knowing my luck I'd be caught. DH doesn't react outwardly but I think the young fella knows he's bothered. I'm worried that by telling his parents he'll get worse but then he's gotten worse over the last few months anyway. If I go up and talk to the mother, I'll be accused of fighting DH's battles. He doesn't need me to do that either.

he isn't dh had this from a 13 year old girl. to the point where she would walk in fornt of his bike. the police soon sorted it, so ring them

Nip it in the bud - firmly and quickly

If you don't come down hard on this straight away, he'll just think he's got away with it. Definitely go and see his parents, and if you get no joy, call the police

Don't put up with this brattish, twattish behaviour

I'm glad this didn't happen to my DP - he'd have gone straight over to the bus stop and pinned the little sod against the wall, nose to nose...

Thanks. I phoned the community police as advised. Got advised to 1. talk to the parents or 2. completely ignore him, in the hope that no reaction will stop it. I think we'll go with 1 and speak to his mam tomorrow. As I said, it doesn't bother me when he does it - but he hasn't progressed to calling me names just yet. Pity my DH isn't like yours MAQ, it may not have got to this stage.

I love Mumsnet for the quick responses!

Maybe to prevent being accused of fighting DHs battles and possibly embarrassing DH(could make things worse)you could emphasise that it's you who is being upset by scrote bags behaviour......i'd be mortified if someone knocked on my door about DCs behaviour.

MAQ, good for your DP

Well, you would think "good on him" I guess, but between mine and aerobargirl's DP, mine will be the one getting into trouble!

Hope it gets sorted, aero

Thanks MAQ. Well I called to see the mother this morning as we thought it would be better "mother to mother" and she knows me but doesn't know DH at all.

She reacted appropriately, in that she was quiet and listening and looked a bit shocked especially when I said "bollocks" and "gay". She stated that he was never in trouble before and I believe her. I told her in an "informing you" manner. I kept calm although I was nervous.

Then myself and DH were out for 15 mins this evening and him and his mam came to the door and left a message with my eldest DS saying that he apologised for yesterday and before. While I'm glad he apologised, I wish to goodness he'd waited until we were home!! DS didn't know what he was talking about! Anyway... I hope that's all behind us now. I appreciate all your comments. Aerobargirl.

If it happens again don't feel you can't call the police, it's a public order offence. Hope it doesn't happen again.

Of course is bullying, but good for the mother for apparently taking on chin, and dealing with it.Hope you, and DH okay.

Yeah, good on his mother! Hopefully that'll be the end of it. I think you handled it well, by the way.

Am shocked at community support - ignore it and he might go away option. More proof they're pointless.

Think the mother should have made son come back when you were at home. Hope that's an end to it.

Well, I wouldn't call it bullying, but your dh should have dealt with it there and then rather than going to the parents, imo. I don't mean get violent or anything, just go up to him and give him an earbashing. I bet this kid would have blushed, stammered something and shut tfu.

Am I misreading this? Are we talking about your husband or your son?

Hmmm, the responses here don't really square with the liberalism we have come to know and love from mumsnet posters. Is there some brainneurisoisadhdquackerism going on here?
Surely not ed

Talking to his parents was the best, first solution.
If he has sn, the family now know that he needs more monitoring and guidance when out and about, and it sounds as if his mother is proactive about sorting out problems as soon as they arise.
If he's just started college or left school and has additional needs, he may be struggling with the transition.
That's not intended as an excuse for swearing at random strangers, just as an explanation.
Of course you were right to do something to stop unacceptable behaviour.
My lad is heading for college next September and I'm bracing myself.