To think that DH is being a hypocrite?

[ShadeofViolet]

We live in the East Midlands in one city, about 30 minutes by train from another city.

About 7 years ago DH worked for a Bank, he was promoted to Assistant Manager but had to move to the branch in the other city. He took the train to work everyday and the fares wiped out his pay increase.

Now I am thinking of retraining and would like to go back to university in the same city - however DH thinks this would be impossible and totally unrealistic. The course would be bursary funded although I would have to get the train too.

Now the difference is we will have two more DC's, DS2 has ASD but will be at school by this time and DD will be at Preschool. DH now earns more than he did at the time (although admittedly not much)

I feel like this is something that I really want to do, therefore we can make it work. DH thinks its going to be a struggle and therefore I am being selfish. Apparently it was differet in his case as this was a job, whereas this is just university.

Will your retraining add to the family finances once you have finished?

Is it the finances that will be a struggle or the travel?

Can you retrain nearer to home?

Would you consider a house move?

Can you do Open University instead?

DH wouldnt consider moving!

I cant retrain nearer home. I am hoping to do a Speech Therapy course and I can either do it at this uni or another one which is about the same distance in the opposite direction! I currently earn nothing as a SAHM and my last job was in a supermarket so I will be increasing my wage considerably.

Its not the finances that would be a struggle, I think he is worried about being left to sort out the DC's every morning (Like I did when he was working there)

If that is his only concern and you have back up plans for childcare due to illness, etc, then there is nothing stopping you. Go for it.

i think he is being selfish if those are his reasons. we all have to make sacrifices in order to move on in life. the money you earn will benefit him aswell as you and your children. he will just have to suck it up and shoulder teh extra responsibility that you have been doing so far.

He is being selfish. However in his case the train fares were paid for by his wage increase. In your case you will be out of pocket as the bursary won't cover train fares I guess? But if you can afford it then he should be happy for you.

No it may not be for a job but it is for the chance of a good job/career down the line once your training is done.

I left a very well paid job to go to uni for three years to retrain. DH supported me through that even though it meant that things were tough. Giving up 20k a year was a hard decision.