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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

children in the house to play

18 replies

elmachoc · 04/10/2010 18:58

Is my dh being unreasonable to not want other children in the house to play ? We have 4 children age 10 and under. Lots of space and a large garden. What ground rules would you make for next doors children comming in to play.He is more relaxed about outside play.

OP posts:
amothersplaceisinthewrong · 04/10/2010 19:01

I personally never minded our next door kids coming in to play - even though there were four of them to two of ours. The only real rule I had was they had to take their shoes off, they had to "play nice" and when I asked them to leave (eg at mealtimes) they had to go without a fuss.

InGodWeTrust · 04/10/2010 19:01

He is BU. Kiddies don't always want to play outside. But I'm a bit of a clean freak, luckily my lo is too young for that just yet. You can either put them in one room or just one part of the house (like only upstairs or just in the dining room for eg), perhaps moving their shoes? Only play with paint and crayons in the garden with newspaper down? This is because I'm presuming he doesn't want them because of the mess, if it's because of the noise, perhaps only 1 friend each at a time? Or 2 at their friends' homes to play, and your remaining 2 to have friends round?

InGodWeTrust · 04/10/2010 19:02

i meant RE-moving their shoes. Baby brain.

FlyingInTheCLouds · 04/10/2010 19:03

he is being unreasonable, it's very important for children to have mates around, my dc have made their close friends by inviting them home.

Also they won't get invited anywhere.

why doesnt he want them

piscesmoon · 04/10/2010 19:08

Open house is a good example to set. Just make sure they stick to your rules. 'My house-my rules' and don't be afraid to tell them.

PinkieMinx · 04/10/2010 19:42

If your children feel welcome with their friends I feel they are less likely to find trouble things to do elsewhere as they get older

create · 04/10/2010 19:55

I have as many children here as often as possible. Mine are 9 & 7 and some of DS1's friends are already at the wandering the street stage. At least if they're all here I know where they are and mine can be with their friends without wandering the streets.

I hoping their friends will continue to come here well into their teenage years, although understand a well stocked fridge is a prerequisite!

Original poster
elmachoc · 04/10/2010 20:12

He just doesn't like it. He actually struggles with almost anyone in the house. I am finding it realy tough and don't know what to do.Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
elmachoc · 04/10/2010 20:13

In my opinion he seems to have a not rational reaction. I am worried that it is not good for our children to see.

OP posts:
booyhoo · 04/10/2010 20:15

what are his reasons. has he said exactly why or jsut that he doesn't like it?

SixtyFootDoll · 04/10/2010 20:18

Is there a room he can go and be grumpy chill out in when they come around?

I like the act that my DS's have their freindss in to play - we are lucky to have a play room..
My Mum was quite grumy at having friends over so I spent a lot of my time roaming looking for people to play with

Original poster
elmachoc · 04/10/2010 20:18

He just doesn't like it. He feels invaided.

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 04/10/2010 20:19

I don't like it either - we don't have a huge house and I find other peoples kids to be too much like hard work. The thing is it is in your childrens best interests to be able to invite friends home. It's their house too. For that reason I encourage my DCs to invite friends back.

I get my DCs to take it in turn though, to invite a friend home. My DH often works from home and if I didn't have some limits it would be hard for him to work.

minxofmancunia · 04/10/2010 20:24

I have kids round for the sake of my dd and her social life, and to be polite I suppose to reciprocate invitations. but I hate it, really hate it and try to have it so dh is supervising.

I don't mind if it's a close friend with their dcs that's different. However when girls from dds nursery come and are left here it spoils my day tbh. I know it sounds a bit extreme but I can totally empathise with your dh. However i have to go through the pain so so should he!!

booyhoo · 04/10/2010 20:32

see, i can sort of see where he is coming from. i like my own space, i get uncomfortable when my mum visits Confused but i have made a real effort to allow my son to have friends over whenever he wants, but, i carry on with my own thing when they are there. i don't entertain them, if tehy want to watch tv they can, or go to the playroom or play outside, it is all up to them as long as shoes come off and they keep the noise down when ds2 is in his cot sleeping i don't care. i hope their parents don't expext me to be palying games or anything with them because i simply don't, but they are more than welcome to be here.

bigchris · 04/10/2010 21:13

Minx - nursery age is a bit young to be left anyway isn't it? Mine only started having friends over without parents once they started school

kslatts · 04/10/2010 21:35

We often have a house full of children, neighbours, school friends, fiends from clubs. At weekends neighours and friends often sleep over.

I often ind it easier as dd's are less likely to get bored when friends are over.

Original poster
elmachoc · 04/10/2010 21:58

i find it easier but he is grumpy so I get stressed.the problem is with next door popping over most days.

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