to want fil to do more

[mumof2children]

my fil is disabled, he can't even go shopping on his own, me and df spend our whole weekend making sure he s ok for the week...i do his housework and also pick up things like bread and milk midweek also do most of his bill paying, oh takes him to do his main shop and any diy and also helps me with the housework.

it's getting to a point where i need to spend time with oh and the kids

The problem is about engaging the rest of the family though as much as it is about getting access to benefits (to which it sounds like he is entitled) isn't it? Have you had a discussion with them with this, outlining how much you do and how hard it is? Could FIL speak to them and explain that he needs help from people other than you? Also, understand about shopping once a week etc but the rest of the family should be spending time with him as well, not necessarily to 'do' things but just because he is their father. What would happen if you were to go on holiday?