HIs mother and the Christening

[mamatomany]

I'm not sure why I even bother making the effort any more since we're on DC4 but here goes.
My mum and her family live 200 miles away, we live up north, with DH's mother his only family being about 20 miles away, she rarely visits and if she does she tries to time it so she avoids the children, not kidding she's on the 2.55pm bus home.
I am Catholic, my family is Catholic, the DC's go to a Catholic school as a result of being dunked on the quiet.
Since this is our last baby I'd like a bit of a do and the Baptism has been booked for the 26th December so I thought a quiet Christmas day to ourselves then we'd all trek down to my mums local church have the baby done and then a nice lunch afterwards all together.
I suggested DH could offer to pick up his mum and take her down with us and back again, his dad (they are divorced) is only 50 miles away from my mum with his new partner so he could come along too.
Apparently I will ruin his mothers Christmas with this whole arrangement and I am asking for a row because his mother is C of E (yeah once a year or when she wants something).
Does any of this sound so dreadful ?

YANBU and I'm an anti-religion nut job

26th December does sound like a it of an awkward time to have a christening.

YANBU, she doesn't have to come. But it does sound a palaver - are you going down and back up in the same day?

Surely your MIL knows that if you are Catholic it is likely you and DH agreed that the kids would be raised Catholic (Anyway its none of her business)

But 26th December does sound a potentially awkward day for a Baptism.

Out of interest, why are you not having the baby done at your local church? Wouldn't it be easier for your Mum to come to you rather than you plus 4 dcs travel all that way?

YANBU, if she doesn't want to come, she doesn't have to. You have offered to take her. Surely it can't be a surprise to her that DC4 is being baptised Catholic. She must know they go to a Catholic school. If your DH is happy with the plan, go ahead with it. You can't live your life to please your MIL.

Is it the quiet christmas to yourselves that's actually going to upset her, will she feel she's getting no quality one on one time?

YANBU- (and I did it the other way round- dp and family are Catholic and kind of took over the whole thing, my parents were in England so didn't come, not out of disrespect, simply because it was a faff and palaver, and something so unimportant to us, but so important to dp and his lot that we just let them run with it!)

Can´t you also have this one baptised "on the quiet! " have "a bit of a do" some other time?

You are baptized as a Christian, not as a Catholic/Anglican/Baptist etc. My friend's kids (she is RC, DH is Anglican) had hers baptized in a C of E church and brought up as RC. No it doesn't sound dreadful, and I don't see why it should ruin her Christmas, but Boxing Day can be hellish both in terms of getting people to turn up, and possibly, traffic on the roads. Maybe give yourself some more space, make it the following week? But of course, its up to you.

I'm atheist myself but I think she's just a miserable sod; your idea sounds lovely, and it being Christmas time will make it that bit more special so definitely YANBU

Boxing day is a bad idea for a christening IMO.

The truth is the others were done at the local church on the quiet because nobody from my mums family including my mum with DC3 turned up, none of them are actually worth putting ourselves out for but for the childrens sake you feel you have to keep trying. Well glad to hear I'm not being a moo

If she doesnt want to come then tell her "oh too bad we did want you to be a part of it" and leave it at that.

If she wants to be miserable let her.

I am with those whom says it sounds like a lovely idea

Is it that she doesn´t want to travel so far on Boxing Day?

TBH, I´d have it at the same church as before, not trek 200 miles!

My husbands family didn't come to my dd2 christening as they couldn't make the day despite me planing it before the baby was born and telling them the date. I wonted it done in a family service at our church and wanted her to wear his family's christening gown so couldn't move it as she would then not a have fitted it and she would have been properly about a year old. We didn't move it they just didn't come maybe she doesn't want to come.

Stuff her, it isn't about pleasing X, Y and Z, it's about welcoming a child into the Catholic faith. She doesn't have to come.

Mamatomany..are you me?!

I'm also Catholic, with C of E in-laws, travelling hundreds of miles to my Mum's for our baby's christening on Boxing Day and DH's family aren't particularly impressed with the timing.

We've simply said to them that we'd be delighted if they could come, but of course there is no pressure if they would prefer to spend the Christmas break at home.

So......YANBU :)