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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

other people's children

52 replies

worrymummy · 03/10/2010 21:52

Am I alone in finding other people's children awful? At a party today DS2 (4) was strangled (he was OK) by the birthday girl (4) and her parents were nowhere to be seen. She is always hitting, pushing etc other children and they just don't seem to realise how horrible she is. I.E. if she was my child I would not take my eye off her for fear of her hurting other children.

On another note, is it normal for other parents to tell your child off when their child cries for NO REASON. AAaaaggh it makes me so cross. A game throwing cuddly toys at each other or being hit by a cushion does not hurt. And a cushion with tiny Indian-style mirrors in it is not a dangerous weapon. And my children had already said sorry twice when he was told to say it again. Is this normal behaviour? I am dying to have a go at this father who is encouraging his sons to be total wimps and think that my DS is in the wrong.

OK rant over, for now.

OP posts:
A1980 · 04/10/2010 00:36

You may not be alone in thinking other peoples kids are awful, but bear in mind YOUR kids are probably thought of in that way by other parents.

All parents love their kids, but no one else does, it's the way of the world Smile

These threads are a little worrying. These

mathanxiety · 04/10/2010 06:50

There are only three other children who come to my house regularly whom I really like. The rest I find myself bracing for.

Goblinchild · 04/10/2010 06:54

Who was it that said
" I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one" ?

PinkieMinx · 04/10/2010 08:43

That's awful Goblin .......... surewly it depends on the size of the child Grin

DetectivePotato · 04/10/2010 09:20

YANBU and YABU at the same time. Like others have said, you got annoyed with this girl strangling your DS (valid) but you expect the parents to be stood there watching when they were probably running around sorting the party out.

Then you think other children are 'wimps' for crying when your DS is throwing stuff at them. Ok its cushions and I do hate it when you get the crybabies who do cry over nothing and the parents rush over as if their leg has been hacked off, but your DS is still throwing stuff around.

I am not keen on other children. I totally get where you are coming from. A friend of mine has a habit of telling my DS off everytime we go to playgroup now, when her DS is the slight crybaby as no one can go near him without her hovering over. I heard her telling my DS off recently because my DS and hers were wrestling in a tent. My DS doesn't wrestle but she admitted her DP does is with their DS but mine was obviously in the wrong and not hers. Hmm Last week they were playing together and she was really chatty with me. Then my DS was 'strangling' (he was actually trying to give her DS a cuddle) her DS, I could hear her telling my DS off again, then she refused to let her DS play behind the curtain where my DS was and she was off with me after that.

Yes my DS does run around at group. Thats what it is there for. He can be 'funny' towards younger children (not friends DS, he is only 2.5 months younger, and I really don't know why he is like it) and I do watch him all the time to keep an eye, but I also get fed up when this woman intervenes and tells DS off for no reason, which seems to be coming a habit with her.

Sorry, went off your point there OP. Yes, other children, and their parents can be very annoying. I have no doubt though that others are thinking it about my DS, which breaks my heart really as he is a lovely boy and when we are at home on our own, sits and plays quietly and just gets on with it. He is like a different child when others are around though.

Lonnie · 04/10/2010 09:23

whilst I agree that other peoples childrens usually (there are some exceptions) are horrific then I would comment that throwing soft toys CAN be painful if they hit in a wrong angle as can a cushion and if you catch one of those indian style mirror things in your eye it can hurt for 3 days (from experience) so in that one YABU.

I did smile though first you are complaining about another child hurting your child and the parent not doing anything about it and then you complain about YOUR child hurting another child and you are not wanting to do anything about it.. (you may not think it is worth while but the father did )

hmmSleep · 04/10/2010 09:29

Dh and I were just agreeing last night that out of all the children in the world we were very fortunate to get the best ones.

I don't dislike other children, I just have absolutely no interest in them. I do however expect everyone to be very interested in mine.

iliketosleep · 04/10/2010 09:30

Children are like farts, you hate everyone elses but relish your own Grin

Chil1234 · 04/10/2010 09:38

'Other people' are often annoying, selfish, bad-mannered, careless - which is why we pick our friends carefully if we've got any sense and avoid the rest. You have a child and suddenly you're thrown into social situations where you have nothing in common with the 'other people' beyond that they have a child too. (We'd have walked over hot coals not to have to sit in a playcentre surrounded by screaming kids pre-child.) No wonder everyone gets so grumpy & over-protective.

hmmSleep · 04/10/2010 09:39

iliketosleep I'll let you know I never, ever fart!

DanceInTheDark · 04/10/2010 09:45

If you despise the birthday girl so much, why did you go to the party?

Throwing anything at someone is a no no in our house.

piscesmoon · 04/10/2010 09:50

I must be odd because I like them-just as well as I teach! Get any on their own and you can find good points.(the parents are another matter entirely!)

arses · 04/10/2010 10:08

Kids are just people. Never understood how people can lump 'em all together as a category in terms of liking/disliking them.

Being pint-sized doesn't make you intrinsically endearing or annoying, IMO, any more than being adult makes you sensible or responsible.

iliketosleep · 04/10/2010 10:30

Like the queen Grin

scruffymuff · 04/10/2010 10:37

YANBU!

I can't stand other people's kids- and I wouldn't like YOURS if he was hitting me or my child with a cushion!

southeastastra · 04/10/2010 10:38

are you're a teacher??!

anonymousbird · 04/10/2010 10:44

I mostly like them, prepared to give the benefit of the doubt, however there are a few who are right little shits, and they will always be little shits. So if they were an adult, I wouldn't like them and as such don't feel I need to like them as a child. My nephew, sadly, borders on falling into that category. He is a nice enough lad, but his behaviour is unpredictable so I ensure all socialisation with him is supervised and in an environment we can control as far as possible.

DH recently "lost it" (verbally) with the DC of some friends. The DC are vile, we have gradually cut back contact. However, after DH's outburst (not unjustified, he had the DC's own father backing him up) I suspect we will see even less of them now. Which is fine. Will just have to go out with our friends leaving DC with sitters.

But some of DC's friends are just fabulous, funny, polite, and just great fun to have around. So we stick with/spend time with the ones we like, and stuff the rest!

piscesmoon · 04/10/2010 11:27

I think that to call any DC 'a little shit' is horrible. Get to know them properly-they probably only have the problem through bad parenting. You can't lump them together-try and see the individual.

Goblinchild · 04/10/2010 17:28

Pass the ketchup please piscesmoon.

Tippychoocks · 04/10/2010 17:35

I get more pissed off with other parents telling off my child tbh. Particularly when it seems they are blind to the involvement of their own little darlings.

That's not a passive-aggressive pop at you OP btw, I had very specific people in mind. Oh yes

Original poster
worrymummy · 04/10/2010 18:44

OK I'd just like to clarify that

  1. the birthday girl's parents had lots of helpers and this was not an isolated incident, it happens all the time, and happened lots of times at the party.
  1. my DS and his friend were playing together throwing soft toys/cushions it was not a case of my DS attacking him. And again not an isolated incident - the father has a habit of assuming that his child is being wronged.
  1. I did intervene when I saw that the other child was upset and told him to stop. he had already apologised twice. The father responded by showing him which cushions WERE ok to hit people with which I thought was a really strange thing to do.
  1. I don't think my children are perfect by any means but they are not nasty, malicious or try to get other children into trouble. I am pretty strict with them and don't think other parents need to reprimand them as well as me.
OP posts:
piscesmoon · 04/10/2010 18:59

It all goes to prove my point, worrymummy, the DCs are fine and it is the parents that are the problem. Get the DC on their own away from their parent and they are probably lovely.

Original poster
worrymummy · 04/10/2010 19:19

oh and

  1. Some of my DC's friends are lovely of course (and they are still very young and learning how to behave), and I am good friends with these particular parents which is probably why it worries me that I don't see eye to eye with their parenting ideas.
OP posts:
piscesmoon · 04/10/2010 19:38

People can be lovely friends but still nutty parents!

Bigmouthstrikesagain · 04/10/2010 19:51

Hmm about op but I think I will get Ilovetosleep's 'children are like fart's ' quote stitched onto a 'Home Sweet Home' style sampler! Grin

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