To ask my ex husband to remove the picture/ books and magazine of naked women when my dd visits.

[bettyandthebats]

My dd went to stay with her father over the summer holiday.

Today we were sat on the beach chatting when she said to me that she felt embaressed by all the naked women in her Dad's house. Apparantly in his bedroom there is a calendar of a topless woman and she found a book and a magazine with naked women in.

I know my ex has a thing about porn, it was one of the things that motivated me to leave him. I hope to dear God that my dd has just seen a copy of nuts or similar and a coffee table book with arty shots in. But even a magazine like nuts or FHM I think is not appropriate for a 9 year old girl to see.

I have discussed this with my present husband and while he is angry he thinks that
I need to tread carefully. My ex does not see our daughter very often and we don't want to add tension. My dd also begged me not to see anything.

I am furious from a child protection point of view ( which my husband gets) but also from a feminist point of view. Perhaps naively I don't want my daughter thinking this is a way for women to earn a living.

I am so angry I am tempted to phone him and say if I ever hear of this again I will stop contact , I know this is an overreaction and that she needs to see his father. I just don't get why a grown man would not show more respect to his daughter.

Should I tell him the stuff has to go when she is in the house.

YANBU - tell him it's not on. A child does not to HAVE to see anyone who is irresponsible when it comes to sexual stuff.

I am hoping that I can just say to my ex, the naked ladies stuff whe dd is around is just not one. My dd loves he father and whatever I think of him she needs hims. It does beg the question why he needs another adult to tell him that.

My present DH is convinced that it can't be porn and is probably a coffee table book and a copy of FHM and maybe a FHM calender in his room. I still think it is wrong though.

Is he a teenager?lol sorry,it's the calendar thing.I don't know what you can do tbh.just say to him dd has come across some stuff in his house,and she's very embarrased by it.

Would u consider having ex see dd at yours,if he don't hide it?or would it be unbearable

I have had the teenager lol moments as well Daisy. He is a man in his mid forties shacked up with a 19 year old looking at girlie magazines. It is mortifying. But when it starts to upset my dd is stops being funny or even mortifying and I am angry. ( That is not a dig at you)

My ex lives at the other end of the country which is one of the reasons he sees her so rarely - he moved away. SO he sees her about four times a year for extended periods, so she stays at his. They speak on the phone daily, they are very close.

Sorry.I didn't mean anything bout your dd.Just that e sounds immature for his age.Hope you can sort it out.How old is dd?

No I know that you did not mean anything. He is incredibly immature for his age.

My dd is 9, so just entering that phase of being body conscious.